7 things holding you back in life

As we wind down to the end of the year, you might ask yourself. What is holding you back in life? It’s a question we ask ourselves in our lives. They are dreams; we have buried within us. Maybe, at the start of this year, we wanted to embark on a journey of self-discovery and then the pandemic happened.

Maybe, for a while now, you have had dreams bubbling beneath the surface. Dreams you have wanted to work on, but you found yourself stuck in a loop of not knowing what to do next. We have all gone through that. But it’s now or never. You need to ask yourself what’s holding you back. Figure out what has kept you behind and why you aren’t as far as you hoped you would be.

I get it. We all have things that hold us back from going after our dreams. Many of us have sunk deep in the sea of unaccomplished dreams, and when we look back, we see all the lost potential. Time can be illusive. It’s tricky to wrap our minds around it and it can escape from our grasp. That’s why it’s important that you figure out what you want from your life.

What do you want to do? Ask yourself what’s holding you back in life. Be as honest as you can about it, because only then will you figure out what needs to be done and go after it. In this blog post, we will look at a few things holding you back in life. 

Fear

Fear holds many of us back in life. It grapples and pushes us back. Many of us struggle with fear because no one can be certain of the future. That’s the problem. Uncertainty. If you want to go to a new city. That’s terrifying because you aren’t sure what will happen. We are so used to things working out the way we want them to. We are so used to a constant flow of predicted events. 

What I mean by this is going to a new city for college is terrifying, but there’s a safety net. You know this is supposed to happen and you understand in no time you will make friends. But going to a new city on a whim is terrifying. I have done this many times and each time it was terrifying. I didn’t know what to expect, and that terrified me.

Fear holds many of us back. Fear is fake events appearing real. When I realized this, it was as if I had a Eureka moment. You can’t run away from fear. But you can push through it by acting on it. When you commit to action, it gets less terrifying the more you do it, but if you don’t act on it, fear will always hold you prisoner.

No one wants to remain in shackles. So, embrace that fear will always be there. Push past it. Don’t allow it to hold you back in life. 

Lack of a clear vision

If you don’t have a clear vision for what you want to do this will hold you back. Why? Because you are stuck in a loop. You might know that you want to start a business. But you don’t know what kind of business. There are dozens of businesses out there. Different business models you can try out, but choosing the right one is difficult.

A clear vision sets those who excel from those who are stuck. Having a clear vision isn’t as hard as we’ve been led to believe. You need to know your why. The big reason you want to do a particular thing. It has to be strong. The stronger it is, the more it will push you in the direction that you want to go.

The next step is that you need to understand the fundamentals. For example, the fundamentals of starting a blog might be to know your niche, choose your brand name, designing your website and writing your pivotal blog posts (these are the blog posts that will attract your first readers.) The fundamentals of doing dropshipping will be different.

You then need to build the business. Building a business is the same in almost every industry, but you can get lost if your vision isn’t clear. A clear vision also includes your ideal readers/customers and what you will sell them. There’s more to this, but when you understand what a clear vision entails, it is easier to work on yours. Not having a clear vision for your life might be what’s holding you back. 

Also Related: The Reality of Finding Your Calling

Your lack of a support system

Starting anything new can be terrifying because for a while you will be on your own. Your friends and family might not understand why you are doing what you are doing. It might confuse them or they could think you are acting out. When your loved ones don’t support you the way you want them to, it can be heartbreaking.

It can feel like they don’t love you. That’s not true. They want the best for you. And often what they think is the best for you isn’t the best for you. The best thing you should do is to accept it. Every successful person has gone through that. They have had to overcome their doubt and their loved one’s doubt. It’s a lonely way to the top.

That’s why you need to be part of a community of people who can support you. People who will understand that you are following your heart. There’s nothing wrong with following the beat of your drum. Don’t let anyone think otherwise. And even when people doubt you don’t allow this to stop you because you’ll regret it.

Don’t let this hold you back. What I have realized is that we are all on a journey. On that journey we will find people not who don’t believe in our dreams and it’s our choice. I am sure Jeff Bezos went through it. Many people might have thought he was crazy for creating Amazon. He founded the company in 1994 when online shopping seemed too futuristic, but he carried on with his idea. You do not understand how far your idea can go if you push through with it. 

Lack of discipline

For many of us, lack of discipline is holding us back. For me, this was a factor. I would want to work, but I wanted to watch television more. That’s why it’s important that your why is powerful. When you have a powerful why you can push yourself and it is easier to do things. 

Will you still struggle with discipline? Yes, but like everything in life, work at it. Many of us don’t become who we want to be because of lack of discipline. And the older we get; we regret never working on it. You can become better at self-discipline. We over complicate things. The simplest way is for you to have a sound reason you want to do something. Then you can use the ten-minute rule.

The ten-minute rule is a game changer. Why? Because if you work on something for ten minutes, you will see it through.  This is the easiest way to work through discipline. You also need to realize that every problem has a solution. We all think some problems have no solutions, but that isn’t true. There’s a solution to every problem. All you have to do is find it and in time you will. 

Also related: The Beginner’s Guide to Mastering Self-Discipline

Limiting beliefs

Your limiting beliefs might hold you back in life. We all have limiting beliefs and we all struggle with them. The key is learning on how you can quieten the noise and prevent it from holding you back in life. Whenever you are about to doubt yourself look at all the things you have achieved and accomplished. All the things you have done with your life.

We all have moments that were motivation boosters. It doesn’t have to be big. The older we get, moments that appeared monumental don’t seem that way anymore. For example, at twenty-eight, your high school graduation doesn’t seem all that big. We can say the same thing when we graduate from college. However, those moments are still important because you achieved something.

When you think about that, you realize that you can achieve so much more. We all forget those moments and see them as inconsequential. But they are important. My big moment was when I was eleven. That was years ago, but it carries a lot of weight because I achieved something I thought was impossible. I won an award for coming in first place for sprinting. I have achieved more since then, but as a nonathletic person who it was a big moment for me. It showed me that our limiting beliefs hold us back from accomplishing great things.

Anything is possible. But here’s the key you must believe that.  

Also Related: How To Overcome Limiting Beliefs That Hold You Back From Success

Lack of self-awareness

Many of us aren’t self-aware. Heck, I struggled with self-awareness for the longest time. Not knowing who I was and what I wanted. It took a class in my first year of university for me to understand how important reflection is. Many of us do not understand how to reflect our actions and decisions.

It isn’t your fault. Society hasn’t taught us the importance of reflection. The reason we aren’t where we want to be in life comes to not reflecting on our decisions. Reflection should be part of your daily activities. You should ask yourself why do you feel this way? What your purpose is? What do you want from life? Continue asking yourself these questions and you will shocked and how far you will go.

Don’t be terrified of asking yourself these deep questions. If you are tired of not being where you want to be in life this will help. Lack of self-awareness is holding many of us back. It held me back for the longest time. Whenever I am afraid to do something, I ask myself why that is, and that pushes me past my barriers and keeps me going.

Not being good enough

Five years ago, the one thing that held me back was not being good enough. I never published my books because the thought of not being good enough was unbearable. I never pushed myself because I was afraid that people would judge me for my lack of talent.

This is where comparison hits the most. We care how people see us and compare us to other people. Comparing yourself is like comparing two different car models made in two different countries. Comparing yourself is pointless. Why? Because our backgrounds are different and so are our experiences. Someone who was once homeless will see life differently to someone who grew up in a two-parent household. 

We all have this switch that turns on when we’re comparing ourselves. “That person is so much better than me at this.” We say. That is a given. They will always be people more beautiful, more talented, more experienced than you. It’s the world. But you can’t go on and compare yourself. That has to be the definition of madness. So, stop. Love yourself. Stop comparing yourself to people because that’s a recipe for disaster. 

Don’t allow this to hold you back in life because it will. I will never be like Marie Forleo or Lewis Howes or Tony Robbins. Because God created that person to be one and not a clone of someone else. Just like God created you to be an equal and not like anyone else. 

What are the things holding you back in your life? Comment below.

                                                      Keep Pushing

                                                          Vanessa