Your hands clam up, your breathing becomes intense as your world crashes around you. Everything you thought you knew and understood becomes a blur. It is then you realize that you self-sabotage and it slaps you in the face, you aren’t equipped to do this. How can you? Your heart races and you can’t breathe, your legs wobble as your core shakes. The voices getting louder, thrashing in your head as it wants to explode.

Keeping calm is the priority, but how long will that last? Doing your best not to drown, but you and the people around you know that you are a joke. And everything comes undone and you are sinking, no one will come to rescue you. No one will hear your pleas as you drown and the darkness surrounds you.

My inner monologue sometimes gets carried away, but I am sure that we have all been there. There’s always this pivotal moment in our lives where we have to choose between courage and clamming up. Most of us clam up thinking or rather believing that we aren’t good enough. That we can’t do this and that stings because if we can’t actually overcome our doubt than what are we without it.

That’s life, so we are told, but the truth is we stop ourselves from actually going for our dreams due to self-sabotage. And every creative person goes through it. if you think you aren’t creative, that is a lie. Everyone is creative to some extent, because if you have ever gone through self-sabotage then you are a creative individual. 

I recently came across this awesome article by Fizzle, highlighting awesome women in business. While I was looking at some of the women who made it on the list, I came across a woman I have never heard about. Amber Rae is regarded as the Millennial Motivator so that is what attracted me to her. It was then that I found this article that spoke volumes to me, it dealt with self-sabotage in a way that I have never thought of it before, in case you are interested it is here.

According to Rae there are three distinct voices that come to self-sabotage; The Inner Artist, The Inner Editor and The Inner Agent. 

The Inner Artist

The Inner Artist is your most creative self, the one that relies on inspiration to motivate them. It is the best version of yourself when ideas strike and joy fills your whole body up. This version knows no criticism and rather they enjoy being in the moment when they feel free working on their projects. The Inner Artist is curious and uses that at its disposal to make strides in their work or projects. This stage is usually the phase where you are the most free and you run with your ideas, despite what anyone says or does.

The Inner Editor

Then the Inner Editor comes along and often the artist gets spooked, especially if they rush in as it often does. This phase is where the revising, cutting and restructuring happens. Your creative flow slows down and often hides in the back because the editor can be ruthless. It can say things that you might not be ready to hear, may be the right word here, is not prepared. But the editor doesn’t care. Its objective is to restructure something and either add or take away spice. 

Your feelings are irrelevant to the editor who wants to do their job. Even if your feelings are hurt, the editor has done what it was meant to do. And that is what is important to it.

The Inner Agent

The agent is often like a cheerleader, it sells or markets the idea with either a few pompoms or a charming and addictive smile. The agent knows what they want and how to get it. Their job is to make sure your idea makes money even if you think it is ridiculous. That is what they want to achieve.

Have you ever heard of an elevator pitch? The belief is if your idea is good enough then you can sell an idea to someone in a short space of time usually in an elevator. It has to be short enough that someone gets the idea and if it can attract a listener’s attention. That is what your inner agent’s job is, to sell an idea without wasting a person’s time.

 Also Related: Why You Should Break Out of Your Comfort Zone?

Three Ways You Can Fix it Right Now

The problem here is that we are competing with three separate voices that want something, one of them is going to be more prominent than the others, but that is when it becomes tricky. Knowing the right thing to do and the right time isn’t the easiest thing to do. Especially when you have to grapple with all the problems that come with the voices.

Understand Self-Sabotage

Self-sabotage can control your life if you let it and if you don’t understand it that is a big problem. It can literally ruin you, stop you from achieving your goals all because you haven’t understood the method in its madness. To move forward, you got to understand it. Once you understand then you can identify the problem and accept that you have to fix it. 

Recognize the habits

Everyone of your voices has a different way of doing things. For example, you might procrastinate when the artist comes out or perfectionism could be your problem when the editor takes over. Or you could be too bossy when you’re selling. Once you recognize the habits, it is far easier to understand how you can fix the problem. A few years ago, I entered a singing competition, I had two songs that I wanted to sing just to make it to the next round. The first was an original and the second was a Beetles song. I started with the original and despite the fact that people liked the song I wasn’t sure. I got through to the next round and my inner artist kept telling me the song wasn’t good enough. In the process, I changed the song a couple of times so certain I was going to make a fool of myself. 

I realized when it was too late that all I had to do was believe in myself. The competing voices where procrastination and perfectionism. One told me the song wasn’t good enough and the other kept me from actually making effort in practicing the song. If I had done that I would have come in first place.

This is just an example of what happens when you don’t recognize that you are self-sabotaging yourself.

Find Your Inner Cheerleader

My older sister used to say that you have to love yourself before anyone can love you. You have to be your own cheerleader before anyone can support you. Never understood that until later on in life and it is now that I realize how right she was. You have to find your inner cheerleader, the one that will pull you when everything pushes you down.

That is why the Agent is needed because it does just that. You never hear a salesman or a book agent tell you how bad their product is. No, they want you to invest in it so they will only mention the best qualities. You have to do the same, talk about how awesome you are. That you are not a failure, it is only then that you can actually find a way to overcome self-sabotage.

                                                                                            KEEP  P USHING

                                                                                                    VANESSA