On dying, losing hope and fighting for your dreams.
No one wants to talk about because death has a way of making us feel small or we feel as if we are insignificant. As though are mere existence is to serve a function of the ecosystem. We are like the ants who help the ecosystem function or we are the cause of the ecosystem crumbling.
But often death has more of an effect on us then we like to admit and for me, I understand that a lot. I am only in my twenties and I have had three incidences with death. I don’t like talking about it because well it is one of those topics, you talk about. It isn’t like talking about the weather, by the time I was seventeen, I was sure I would die at 32.
Another somber story of a young life gone too soon. When I had reached my late teens, my health had crumbled far too many times, I was addicted on prescription medication and I was suicidal so thinking I would die at that seemed natural as if that was my destiny.
Even though I nearly died, I never took life seriously and I never fought for my dreams. It didn’t matter how many times I visited the hospital, how many times I saw the flashing lights or when my heart was giving in. All that didn’t seem to move me. Maybe, I didn’t care for the longest time and I let my health give in.
I let myself get addicted to medication. I know it is getting really dark and the reason why I writing this is for you to understand how short life is. Beyond a doubt, it can be gone in seconds when death truly wants to knock you out. And that is what happened in 2018, I almost died. It is ironic that it wasn’t my physical health that was at play here, but my mental health. Then when I thought I had made it to the other side, a few months later, my health took a turn for the worst.
For the better of ten years, I dabbled with illness from thing to the next, but I had thought my health was better. Then for a whole month, I was sick. Most people think that all this is simply getting a common cold. Yeah, that wasn’t the case. I was bedridden, couldn’t walk and that was the most embarrassing thing. Not being able to do simple things like walk to the couch, bend down or even lift up something.
I had to question everything about life, ask myself if I was truly living and start making better choices. That one month made me deal with things that I tried my best to forget.
In less than a year, I had to deal with two near-death experiences and it taught me invaluable lessons that I want to share with you.
Stop being a people pleaser
If you want to fight for your dreams then you need to stop trying to please everyone. For the longest time, that is all I cared about, pleasing people. When I was fifteen, one of my closest friends at the time told me that. She told me I wanted to please people and like most fifteen-year-old kids I was stubborn. I refused to listen to her.
It is only later, I realize how right she was, I wanted more than anything to please people. Due to that I never fought for my dreams, I didn’t want people to think less of me. So, I followed the normal path, chose to hide in the background. Be a shadow and people’s tail. What I have learned is that does you no favors, I get it we don’t want people to think you are an attention seeker, but as a result we try our best to please others.
And that is all I did, I nodded my head when people said something, I never spoke and now I realize what a mistake that was. In life, you have two choices when it comes to your dreams, you either build someone else’s dream or yours. When I heard that, it changed everything and I saw that often we overlook that one detail.
We stop fighting for our dreams because we think it is a smart decision to make. The wise choice that won’t make us look like a fool and that is exactly what we do.
Don’t get accustomed to your mess
I was accustomed to my mess. For the longest time, I was okay with life being that messed up. Most of us don’t realize how easy it is to get used to a certain routine or bad habit. Whether that is thinking negatively or being used to the mess, accepting that things will never change or even certain statements that are false. Here are few examples of these statements, “I will never be financially free,” “it is okay to be broke,” “I am incapable of achieving X, Y or Z,” “my friends struggled so will I,” “I have been ill for years, I won’t get better.”
It is easy to get used to this way of thinking and when you have this kind of mindset, you won’t fight for your dreams. No way will start exercising if you believe that you will never lose weight. You won’t ask for a raise, especially if you think you don’t deserve it. I could go on, but I am sure you get the point.
When we get used to our mess then well life happens and we do nothing about it. We don’t try to improve because we think that we can’t. We never strive for anything better because we were told we don’t. Don’t get accustomed to your mess because if you do it will hard finding a way out of it.
We forget how to stand up for what we believe in
Kids are relentless, they fight for what they believe in, even when people tell them they are bonkers. They don’t care, they befriended kids despite what anyone says, they sign up for things even when everyone around them tells them not too.
To a kid, what matters is making the most of their time and standing up for what they believe in. By the time we turn thirteen, we lose that strength to fight and start thinking more about what other people think of us. We stop going for our dreams and start trying to blend in. We start acting like everyone else or trying to because we think that is how we can survive the next years of being a teenager.
Then twenty comes and now, we are full-fledged recruits in the blending in-crowd. We do what everyone does and that is the problem. When you forget how to fight for what you care about, you don’t want to fight for your dreams. Why would you fight for something if truly believe you don’t want it?
The crazy thing is that there are so many millennials who hate their jobs and dream of financial freedom. That isn’t an exaggeration. The reason why most people don’t go for their dreams is because they have forgotten how to stand up for what they believe in.
When I was thirteen, I wanted to be a fiction author, I had written a book of short stories and I was going to publish it. I never did because people said I sucked as a writer. Maybe, I did. I had people tell me the stories were good, but the problem was I believed what other people told me. And it went downhill from there.
Eventually, I stopped fighting for my dream and started doing what everyone else told me to do.
You don’t have to do a 9-5
Just because everyone is doing a 9-5 doesn’t mean you have to. The same thing goes for doing online business, just because person A is doing it doesn’t mean you have to.
It all comes down to what you want out of life, what fuels you and pushes you. Who do you want to be? You might be thinking if you don’t want to do a 9-5 or be an entrepreneur what is there left. The definition of an entrepreneur has changed in recent years, it has gone from startups to blogs to membership sites or hosting summits to book conventions or teaching people how to dance with a course.
It isn’t the same as it used to be. Despite the online space, we don’t understand we can achieve the impossible. We lose hope that we will never find a way out of our situation and we think that the only safe bet is having a 9 – 5.
That isn’t even the case. You can be an indie author and make hundreds of thousands of dollars in a year. You can be a guitarist and teach people how to learn the guitar. You can be a gardener and teach people how to take care of their garden.
I want you to believe in the impossible so that you can create the possible. I want you to fight for your dreams so that you can live a life of purpose.
Better habits
I am a sucker for poems and good fiction books. One of my absolute favorite poets is William Ernest Henley, he wrote a poem way back in 1888. It was called
“Invictus.” One of my favorite lines from the poem says, “I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.”
Basically what happens is a direct result of your actions, I do believe that there are things beyond our control, but what ultimately happens is due to our decisions.
Here’s an example, you choose not to wake up early so you are groggy and have to rush to work. That decision might seem harmless, but then you get into a traffic jam and it takes you longer to get to work.
By the time you get to work, you are angry and moody, your mood affects the people around you and how you see the world. You see it as tainted, your boss is mean to you and as a result you are on edge. You belittle your friends and say the wrong things, they, in turn, draw away from you. You start to dwell on this and your negative limiting beliefs makes it harder for you to deal with life.
I am not saying this is how you will react, but a lot of people go through the rough patches of life because one action they have made. If you want to fight for your dreams, get better habits. Habits can make or break you and at times it can appear harmless until it isn’t.
Learn to be okay with not being okay
Being a blogger has taught me that it is okay to be vulnerable and if you met me years ago. I was a brick wall. Impenetrable to the highest degree and I didn’t let anyone. Which usually meant most people had no idea who I was and I didn’t mind it. In fact, I preferred it. I didn’t want people to know my darkest secrets.
It wasn’t like I was auditioning for a talk show or trying to be a reality TV star. So, for me, it didn’t make sense for people to know me and I was okay with that. What I have come to understand is we are all trying to be okay, to pretend as if we don’t have problems because being vulnerable sucks. No one wants to feel as though they don’t have control of everything.
You need to be okay with not being okay because only then can you solve your problems. Only then can you actually be okay? Quick question what happens to a driver that doesn’t want to admit they are a bad driver. Firstly, the driver never improves and therefore, is a danger to himself and the people on the road.
Life is exactly like that and you need to be okay about not being okay. You have to accept that they’re certain things you won’t be good at. You have to accept that everything takes time.
As odd as it is, you have to be okay with not being okay so you can fight for your dreams. Pretending as if life is okay will make it harder to see what you need to do to fix the mess in your life. This is a hard lesson to learn, but it is crucial for you to learn it early on.
What are you fighting for?
Most of us do things and we don’t even know why we are doing it. This is why there are a lot of unsatisfied people, after some time you forget why you are doing this, if you don’t have a strong reason for what you are doing. It is important to understand why you are doing this so that no matter what comes your way, you can move past it.
If you don’t know what you are fighting for, by the time you are forty you will start questioning everything about life. Ask yourself why you are doing this, what you hope to gain from it and once you do that, it will easier to get up in the morning and do what you do.
It will be easier to go for your dreams and fight for them. You won’t care what people think about you because that won’t matter as much as your dream. The reason why you are doing what you are doing.
Every successful person will say the same thing, know what you are fighting for because only then can push past all the obstacles that come your way. Only then can you work on your dreams even when you are broke and unemployed. There are people who have done it before. If a homeless person can become a billionaire then there’s nothing stopping you from achieving your dreams. To fight for your dreams, you need to understand why you are doing this or it becomes pointless. Here is an awesome inspirational blog post that will help you go in the right direction.
Keep hustling
Most entrepreneurs will never tell you this, but before you have the money to invest in your dreams, you have to be okay with being broke or hustling.That means doing more than you normally would. So, instead of working for a few hours, you have to work more. Do more so that you can achieve what you want.
This is what it means to fight for your dreams. The easiest way to start is by creating a side-hustle that will help you get to you where you want to be. It doesn’t matter what side-hustle is. Some side-hustles won’t work depending on the country you are in, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do a side-hustle.
The reason why you need to hustle is so you can achieve your dreams a lot faster. Most people give up before they have the chance to actually create an impact because most people don’t like the thought of working for their dreams. They want it yesterday and if only that was the case, but sometimes you got to do things you don’t want to do so that in the future you can have a better life for yourself. Here is a post about quick side-hustles you can start at home so you can make a bit of money. Most times when you have to fight for your dreams, it requires you to work harder than your normally would.
What are you willing to give up?
This is another thing, most people don’t talk about, but you have to give up something and that is a great way to fight for your dreams. When I was starting out, I had to give up time and eventually money. You don’t go anywhere in life without giving up something. Most people don’t want to do this, but when you are willing to give up something now so that you don’t have to do it in the future, doesn’t that make it worth it.
As life gets complicated and we get older, we are going to have to give up certain things. As a nineteen-year-old kid, I didn’t give up much, when I went to College that changed. I had to give up my bad sleeping habits. I am not complaining about it now, but in the beginning, there was resistance until there wasn’t.
In the beginning, giving up Netflix will feel like a burden until it isn’t and you actually don’t mind not watching any of your favorite television shows. As time goes, and you get more freedom, giving up all those things will be a blessing in disguise. Most of us aren’t willing to give up something in order for us to fight for our dreams and that is the problem. If you don’t push yourself, you will never know what you can achieve.
What is your main takeaway from this post and what invaluable lessons that you learned? Comment below.
Keep Pushing
