How To figure out what you want without losing your mind?

Before choosing entrepreneurship, I wanted to be an inventor, psychologist, singer, reporter, event planner and the list goes on. One of the hardest questions to answer is what we want and what we want in life? The two are linked by a loose string that gets tighter the harder it gets to answer the question. The truth is most of us have no freaking clue what we want because that often is the question dangling in our mind. The question usually dangles a white flag in our mind is what am I even doing?

That question often gives us such a migraine that everything else seems like a cruel joke and we go on a self-discovery until we figure out what we want. People tell us when we get older we’ll figure it out, but we never do. There’s so much going on in our lives that we don’t have time to figure it so we do what every sane person does give up the goose. That is what most of us do? From the time we are kids to eighteen, we ask questions until we give it up. We go to college for four years, studying a degree that makes us want to crawl under the bed. All so we can graduate and work in a job we hate.

This isn’t a blog post really about your passion. The truth is most of us go through dozens of dreams before settling down on the one dream that gives us such a powerful feeling. It electrifies every electron and gives us this feeling of being alive. That feeling of being alive, it is an opium to the dream seekers. The ones who crave a life with their very soul, the ones with arms stretched wide and who don’t care if they look sane.

Most of us do care, for the most part, we just don’t want to lose our mind. So, here it goes.

What don’t you want

Most of us have no clue what we want. That is the problem. What we do know is what we don’t want? We might not want to wake up early in the morning, to eat cold breakfast or to work in a manual labor job. I used to want to be a singer, I thought it would make me happy. I spent five years trying out being a singer, I entered the Nashville Songwriting competition thinking it would be my golden ticket.

Of course, I was wrong, I didn’t go into the final rounds of the competition. However, Nashville still wanted to produce my song. Here’s the thing, I had to pay money for it to be produced. I found myself at crossroads, I wanted proof that I was good enough. I might not have been the best songwriter they found, but I had a choice to change that. My heart wasn’t in it. Along the way I realized I didn’t want to be a singer, I didn’t want to spend years cracking into the music industry. My passion has withered away and I realized it was nothing more than an illusion. 

It took me five years to realize this, often we hold onto dreams, thinking it is what we want. Until we ask the hard question, what don’t I want? My dream was an illusion and I gave it up without thinking twice about it. Illusions come and go, but dreams stay. No matter, how old you become there are the whispers telling you the road you are embarking on is the wrong one. 

Also Related: What I’ve Learned From Risking it All to Chase My Dreams?

Focus on experience

Our experiences shape us into who we later on become. Often we don’t utilize them fully and are left with gaping holes on what we should do next. The thing is we have lived full lives, spanning decades and all of us have experiences. We have gone through things that have taught, shaped and molded us into the person we are now. I have always wanted to be a writer, that is the one dream that has never left me, regardless of how old I have gotten.

My experience with writing is filled to the brim with stories that never got published, rejection letters or the silence of a windy city. But what I have discovered is rejection is inevitable and it can come from anyone even your family members or closest friends. I experienced rejection at thirteen and instead of it pushing me back, it made me relentless. There are these pivotal moments in our lives that teach us who we are and who we will become.

How does a thirteen-year-old know who they will be at twenty, twenty-six or even at thirty? The thing is they don’t, but they catch a glimpse of what they want. Rely on your experiences to tell you what you want from life. It can be even on a small scale. It doesn’t have to be grand in scale, but an important moment in your life you can rely on. 

What do you want to be known for?

Growing up my mother had this saying, she’d ask me what I want to be known for? Then she’d say, leave an impact in everything you do. At the time, I had no idea what she was talking about. I was twelve, so I had no idea what I wanted to be known for. All I wanted was to live a full life. It was later on, I realized I wanted to be known for changing people’s lives with stories. I have always been a storyteller, even when I told people events, they were always as if I was telling a story.

I hated it when people told me that because it felt as if I was a joke. Now, I realize, that is who I am as a person. It is the embodiment of all that I am. What is the one thing you want to be known for? It doesn’t have to be on a grand scale, it might simply be making people happy. One of my dearest friends has a sunshine personality, she knows how to make the people around her comfortable without even trying. Sometimes we think that we have to wow the world on a great stage or be a big personality. The truth is not all of us are public speakers, actors or politicians. And we don’t have to be to leave a footprint. 

 Also Related: 7 Powerful Questions to Find Out What You Want to do With Your Life?

Look at your inspirations

In my dreams, I sat with legends, discussing topics. I had posters of legends, I collected poems and quotes from the greats. I read their books, fell into the words and sang their praises. They were all I wanted to be and more. I crafted dreams of living a life they lived. Changing lives, one word at a time and so my story unfolded. We all admire people, often it can be a family member or someone with a larger platform. The truth is that it doesn’t matter who inspires us, what matters is what we do with that?

The people who inspire you, motivate you to be someone better than yourself. As a kid, my role model was my sister and that is the reason why I wanted to be a singer. I wanted to be more like her. She was in the choir and performed in high school. The older I got, the number of role models I had increased and authors inspired me more than performers. Entrepreneurs pushed me and I looked to them for inspiration on how to manifest my goals.

This is one of the easiest ways to figure out what you want without losing your mind. Without thinking that your dream is odd or too big. The truth is before these people achieved success they were like you and me. Trying to figure this thing called life before they lost their mind. So, if they can do it then there’s no reason you can’t. 

What do you think you want in life? Comment below

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