how to stop perfection from ruining your life

I have a confession, I’m a perfectionist. I had to learn a few things in order for me to stop perfection from ruining my life. There was a time when the word would bring me comfort, but now I realize that perfection is something we should be wary of it. I can spend days, weeks or even months working on the same thing. Making sure that it looks the way I want it to look and often this pushes me back. My need for perfection stems from believing that what I put out isn’t good enough.

Majority of perfectionists feel this way, that is why they strive to make everything perfect. In a perfect world, we’d fit right in, but the world isn’t perfect. It is far from it and yes, it does feel great to put out a product that shimmers. Time will pass by and we will still be in the place that we were before. I have known people who worked years on their projects wanting it to be perfect and even now they are still working on it. Perfectionism is a construct we created so that we can feel good about ourselves. The only purpose it has is pushing us back.

I’m beginning to realize how much perfection has taken away from me. I missed opportunities because of it, I was pushed back due to my fear of not being good enough. I cowered in shame at the feeling of lagging behind. Perfection made me terrified of being seen less than. It is great to develop an idea that impacts your audience or clients, but it will never be perfect. There will still be things you need to add and that can take years for you to finish.

This is how you stop perfection from ruining your life

Your goals and expectations have to be realistic

In the beginning, you can’t expect things to be perfect. That is unrealistic, but yet so many people go down that rabbit hole. Me included. The fear is that if our product isn’t perfect in a crowded world, we’d be swallowed up. The truth is people don’t really care so much about what your product looks like, but the value you give them.

There are websites out there making hundreds of thousands of dollars yet they appear as if it was made in the early 2000’s. This isn’t a jab, this is realistic. They are making money not from what it looks like, but the value. You can have a product that appears perfect from the outside yet there’s no value. Another thing you have to realize is people don’t want to get overwhelmed and often products stock full of value are a pain for people to consume.

Whatever your goals are they have to be realistic. You can run for a marathon every day, but the chances of you coming in first place are slim if you have never done it before.  Unrealistic expectations take away your energy and focus, it also can mess up with your emotional well-being. 

In order to stop perfection from ruining your life your goals must be realistic. If you want to start a blog, in the beginning it won’t be perfect. The same can be said if you are starting a YouTube channel or building a personal brand on Instagram. In the beginning, you will make a lot of mistakes and that’s alright. The learning curve will be steep when you are starting out.

Focus on self-care  

You are worth it and take it from me perfectionism isn’t the road you want to be on. Perfectionism gave me ulcers, I spent so much time stressing over trying to make a project look perfect, I didn’t take care of myself. Worry consumed me, all I thought about was how to make it perfect and I got really ill. So ill that I almost went to the hospital. 

I realized something had to change or else my perfectionism would eventually mess up my health. Perfectionism can seem harmless, but it isn’t. It is one of the causes of stress and we all know how stress can mess up with your life. You need to focus on yourself, that is what matters. Even if something isn’t perfect in the beginning, it doesn’t matter. Take care of yourself. When you focus on self-care everything takes a backseat especially perfectionism. However, keep in mind life should be balanced. Self-care is important, but don’t let it consume you that you forget about everyone else in your life. 

If you want to stop perfection from ruining your life, you need to take care of us. We all have flaws but when you take the time to focus on you and to appreciate your flaws this will eliminate the need to be perfect. 

Also Related: 5 Habits That Will Change Your Life For the Better

Take your inner critic to court

I have a friend who says take your inner critic to court. Sounds weird, but often we allow our inner critic to push us to the extent of breaking down. Motivation can be a good thing, but it can also lead you to your demise. When you challenge your inner critic by asking questions as a lawyer would; you start to notice that your negative thoughts don’t represent the stage you are at. 

You start to appreciate motivation is great in small doses. Often our inner critic pushes us to the point where we want to be applauded for our effort. In the beginning that is an impossible feat and not everyone is built the same. There are some people who can survive on little sleep, but most people have to take breaks in between in order for them to not crash and burn. There’s no set rule for how many hours you have to work in a day to achieve your goals. All that matters is getting it done so if you’re inner critic tells you you’re lazy. Challenge it. This way you’re challenging it and also convincing yourself you don’t have to be superhuman to accomplish your goals. 

You can’t do it all

What I mean by this is you’re not superhuman, even Superman had limits. Multitasking does nothing but gives you stress. And life is already stressful enough without adding to your plate. It also decreases efficiency, there are people who believe they can multitask, but that isn’t true at all. Chances are your work will suffer and it is best to focus on the task alone and get it done than trying to do too many things at the same time.

You end up exhausting your energy and this will cause you grief. We have this belief that if we can’t do two or four things at the same time then we’re not good enough. This is where perfection comes in, we also want to be good at doing multitasking. But we can’t. Human beings weren’t meant to multitask, it isn’t in our DNA. You can’t fight biology as much as we want to. Best way to overcome perfectionism is understanding that we all have limits and that is okay. 

Take breaks and recharge

I used to believe if I took a break then everything would explode and life as I knew it would cease to exist. A tad bit too dramatic, but that is what I thought. Relaxing wasn’t in the cards for me, my skin crawled at the thought. I was always on the edge, I’d lean back and snap out of it. My thoughts condemning me and making me feel as though I did the unthinkable. “Who was I even to take a break? There’s too much to do.” My thoughts were relentless.

So, I chose to not take breaks and that ended up ruining my health. You need to recharge, nothing will happen if you take a break. You won’t break in hives, your work won’t be gone forever. But if you don’t recharge, eventually your battery will run out of juice, Sometimes, all we need is to realize that the work will get done. Yes, it might take time for it to finish, but that doesn’t mean that you won’t achieve your goal.

You have to keep that in mind so you don’t go crazy and think you have to be a superhero. Take it easy. To stop stop perfection from ruining your life then you need to take a break and recharge. We aren’t machines so it is normal to take things easy once in a while. 

 Also Related: 5 Proven (And Not Obvious) Ways to Avoid Burning Out

What reasons have you told yourself to stop going for your dreams?

                                                                                     Keep Pushing

                                                                     Vanessa