Rejection sucks. When I was younger I faced rejection from every angle. At school I struggled making friends. The first real friend I made was when I was eight years and that was because I transferred to a new school. When I was eleven, I faced rejection because no kid wanted me on their team when playing sports. I was always picked last for dodge ball. When I was older I struggled to cope with school so I faced rejection there. People thought I wasn’t smart enough or good enough.

This played like a song in my ears. Am I good enough? I kept asking myself that. Over the years, I learned to think differently about rejection. That is primarily because I felt like I had no idea what else to do. Rejection isn’t easy. It never is. Often we think there’s nowhere out of this. If society and those we love reject then what? Rejection doesn’t stop the older we get. We just recognize it for what it is. That this is it? People don’t want me here. Or I haven’t gotten this position because of X.

Sometimes it’s not because you aren’t qualified, but it can be due to timing. Thing is rejection isn’t spoken about often. That is because when we become adults it’s as if we should get accustomed to rejection. Almost as if it’s a badge of honor. What if you could turn rejection into success? What if you can turn redirect rejection? If you do this then there’s no stopping you from going after what you want. There’s a beauty to that. We don’t talk about that. In this blog post we will look at a new way to think about rejection. This is how you can turn rejection into success.

Love yourself even in the storms

When I was a kid, my sister would look at herself fondly in the mirror. I never understood. When I was older I got it, my sister was learning how to love herself first. Despite what anyone told her, she loved who she was. It was then that I understood what love was. Love your neighbor as you love yourself. We say this often that it has lost meaning. You need to love yourself first before you can love anyone else.

The reason why rejection hurts more than it should is because we don’t love ourselves. We don’t love who we are in the storms. We don’t who we are when no one is validating our existence. Take a look at social media. It’s a toxic wasteland because people are seeking validation. When they don’t hundreds of likes or comments on their posts it’s like the world is falling a part. That is why there’s an wide spread of mental illnesses. Sure many people go through trauma and that is the cause of their mental illnesses. They never get better because they are seeking validation from outsiders.

How you turn rejection into success is that you need to love yourself regardless of what the world says about you. Redirect rejection. Love yourself even more. Fall in love with yourself. That is a hard thing to do. We are so set in the way we see ourselves. Often it’s negative belief. What if you change that into positives? Your life will change in more ways than you will realize.

Also Related: How to Love Yourself

 Step more out of your comfort zone

Magic happens out of your comfort zone. This is where you grow the most. This is where you learn more about yourself. Even if you get rejected never let that limit your potential. When I was a kid, I did public speaking. I did it twice. Both times I failed miserably at it. I promised myself I would do it again in college. In college, I did it again and I came in first place. 

If I had held onto the experience as a kid I wouldn’t have done it again. I would still have stage fright. By stepping out of my comfort zone I learned so much about myself. I grew so much because I refused to let it define who I was. Magic happens when you understand that rejection isn’t supposed to stop you, but push you. This is what happens when you redirect rejection. This is what happens when you no longer see rejection has something that will keep you in a box.

Here’s another example. I am an introvert. As a kid I used to be socially awkward. I thought if people knew me they wouldn’t want to be around me. Then I realized that it was better to be honest from the get go. I let go of the walls. Started being myself and realized that people appreciated it more. I made friends quicker because of it. I became more confidant than before. I became more assertive. I redirected rejection into something magical. And when I stepped out of my comfort zone eve though I failed more, I learned faster. That sent me on a trajectory that has changed my life for the better.

Also Related: 4 Reasons to Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone

Don’t allow rejection to define you

Don’t let rejection define you? Don’t personalize it. Most times when we face rejection, we personalize it. This a recipe for disaster. Why? Because rejection is something that happens when things are out of our control. They are outside forces at work. You can’t control how people see you. You can’t control whether someone likes something you like or they don’t. You can’t control certain outcomes, but you can learn from it.

People are complicated. That doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. In fact you are normal. Every person faces rejection in their lifetime. From the job offer they didn’t get to the friends who change they mind about them. We all face rejection. But you just need to redirect it into something positive. Who are you? Does this rejection change who you have always been? If the answers to that are no then why should we personalize it.

I had zero friends before the age of eight unless I count my sister. It took me a while to even understand what having a friend means. I had to learn the hard way. But I grew from it. My roommates chased me away from the apartment we were sharing. I definitely deserve that, but should I personalize their rejection. They were doing what was best for them and honestly it didn’t define who I was.

I have ADHD. So I know rejection very well, but rejection has made me who I am. I now take rejection in my strides. I accept I am not everyone’s person. That is alright. There’s a beauty in that. Those who accept me I appreciate greatly. I would go to bat for them. Don’t let rejection define who you are. Because in reality it doesn’t have any power over who you are.

What is your main take away from this blog post? How can you redirect rejection? Write it down below.

                                     Vanessa

                                         KEEP    PUSHING