I was the kid in the background, the kid with buck teeth and low self-esteem. The one who drank in the deep pits of insecurity, who people laughed at. For years, I listened to the taunters of my past, they sneered and lured me to the back with words I knew all too well. I dipped my head as I walked, ashamed of who I thought I was. Because I spent so many years living a lie, I couldn’t walk straight. I developed a hunchback, my back was so out of shape. Because of this I found it hard to rise above the noise. 

I saw myself as unappreciated and unspectacular. I was definitely not the girl who would walk into a room and people would smile at. No, I was the girl who walked like a crab, the one who people mocked and those early years of school became the foundation I relied on. Due to my dwindling self-belief, I struggled in school, trying to pick up the pieces of information I didn’t quite understand. My teachers didn’t understand and I was a maverick to my peers. An outsider, who didn’t fit into any of the boxes kids should tick.

And it never used to be like this. At eight and nine I had more confidence than most kids my age. The problems were the voices I had wasted my time on and now I was sinking into the murky waters of a mind so lost that often I would blank out. I wanted to be swallowed up so that I could avoid the inevitable tick of my brain piecing words and images together. The doldrums of life not well-lived was what I had to look forward to at the end of a long day. 

But with time I come out of the rumble stronger and it has taken me time to rise above the noise. It is only known that I realize what I was missing. 

  

 

Your belief is stronger than you think

 

I spent so many years listening to people telling me who I was, I started believing them. The truth was along the way I lost myself and along with it my self-esteem. When we are seven, the foundation of our personality is built. The great Sigmund Freud that as young as five or seven that is when your personality develops. Little kids are still figuring out who they are and it easy to be swayed by people who tell them who they are. It is then that your personality shifts. Confident kids start having low self-esteem.

Your belief is stronger than you think because ultimately you change because you believe it. Who you say you are is ultimately who you become. It’s interesting that most of us don’t know how powerful the human mind is and once it is conditioned then you can change who you are. When you shift that belief into something positive then you rise above the noise. 

I spent so much of my life listening to the voices of others, up to a point where I was tired of it. I had conditioned myself into believing them and I thought that they knew better. They knew more than me. Most people will tell you that, because they see who you are. You know yourself better than anyone else. You know your experiences better than anyone. That is what molded you today so don’t buy into the lies that people tell you. Unless all of sudden they can read minds then they don’t know you as well as they believe they do.  Belief is one of the best ways to rise above the noise and move forward in your life.

 

Also Related: Belief System – How To Believe in Yourself?

 

Picking up the pieces

 

 

It took me years to find myself again, sometimes I wish that I had done it earlier on, but then I realize I wouldn’t have learned an invaluable lesson. Only you can pick up the pieces. That might seem like common sense, but we rely on relationships, people from our past to help us pick up the pieces. They can’t give you what you want. You have to find yourself and not rely on relationships to pick you up.

What I have learned is if you are broken you will find broken people. I spent years becoming friends with the wrong people, they were as broken as I was, a bit different. And I thought that we could fix each other. As a result, by the end of a year stint of being friends with them I was more messed up than I was before. I have come to understand that attraction is a powerful tool that we use unexpectedly. We use it nonetheless. I realized this too late. I am not saying I regret being friends with them, they taught me a lot and if I was stronger I could have handled them better. But at that time I wasn’t. 

It was then that I realized the problem was I was relying on people fixing me. I wanted relationships to mend my broken heart. When that didn’t happen I felt unappreciated and unspectacular. I wanted more than anything to rise above the noise and the one thing I realized that helps is understand that we all are capable of so much more than we realize. 

 

 

Being unimpressive in a world that demands it

 

 

I blame society for the pressure it puts on people. There’s this belief that from the time we go to school we should have a talent. Something to identify ourselves in a sea of people going to places. If you don’t have that, then you are seen as unimpressive and underestimated. You become a face among a board of faces, blending with flashes of smiles, frowns and grimaces. But not everyone finds what they are good at in school, for some people it takes years to realize what they are good at. It doesn’t even mean they are unimpressive or not good enough. 

When we don’t try to figure out who we are, we end up having quarter-life crisis. Where we try to figure out the meaning of life. An existential crisis is not fun at all. Often it leads to a point where you look down the winding road and think that you are nothing more than a pebble being tossed. Most people who go through this crisis also tend to be depressed and the simple reason that they go through that is they haven’t taken their time to figure out who they are. Occam Razor states that often the simple solutions are the answer. A simple solution is to figure out who you are.

It is never too late. it took me twenty-four years to figure this out. It took me thirteen years to realize I had a knack for writing. And it took me twice as long to actually harness the talent. It is never too late despite what people think.

 

 

Don’t be ashamed of your past

 

 Most of us are ashamed of our past. We see it as black ink on a paper, too loud and dark that it takes away the beauty of a well-written letter. Our past molds us into being who we are today. If it wasn’t for my past, I wouldn’t be this person. Once I let go of the shame, I learned to love myself. The trick to rising above the noise is to simply let go of your past and to see it as lessons, not punishment. 

After this, you learn to love yourself. For years I thought I loved myself, but then I would become self-deprecating and I realized it wasn’t the case. I had been living a lie and it all stemmed from the shame of my past. Shivers ran down my back whenever I thought about it. My past brought up things I didn’t want to think about, experiences far too many to bring up. 

Shame clouds your judgment and shifts your perspective. Your past can’t deter you from where you want to go. Only you can. Your past is simply a lighthouse that reminds you that even from a distance you are capable of so much. It is there so you can steer your course and find your way back to that point where you are your best version. Most of us live with shame, seeing it as a black cloak swallowing us whole. 

What I want you to walk away with is knowing that you can actually change your life, perspective and belief in just a week. All it takes is constantly working on it. You must find yourself in order to rise above the noise, it is only then you will learn to love yourself and develop self-confidence that pushes you forward in your life.  

 Also Related: Why You Shouldn’t Let The Past Define You?

 

 

What is your main takeaway and what is the one thing that you are going to work on this week? Comment below.

 

 

                                                                                            KEEP  P USHING

 

                                                                                                    VANESSA