As children we go through growth spurts, most of it builds us up and there are moments when it does the exact opposite. Being the last born, I was always behind my siblings who seemed to have life figured out. I was their kid sister, the one who made mistakes, failed numerous times. Repeated a couple of times. I was labeled the kid who wouldn’t do much with their life. Teachers paid me no mind, every test, I always had the come see me in bold red ink.

We have all gone through those moments when we allow the hurt of our past to make way into our present and future. Maybe, it is easier, after all, if everyone thinks you’re a clown, doesn’t it use far too much energy proving them wrong. Most of us go through these moments when we decide that we should allow the past to hold us back.

The problem here is that you won’t get to take advantage of the opportunities that come your way. We have a choice in what we decide to do with our life.

Sometimes, the choice isn’t as easy as deciding what kind of ice cream you want or what you should do after work. Most times the choice is hard, but if you allow your past to define you then it will always will.

Your story is worth being

It’s easy to think that your life was harder than your friends. The truth is we all experience hardship at different times in our lives. For some it happens earlier on, some it has more to do with physical than emotional trauma. Hardship is hardship. What you experience isn’t harder or easier than the next person? Most people don’t want their experiences to build them up because they dwell in that hurt.

In the emotional heartbreak of their past and they never move past it. Never see the silver lining and find peace. The truth is our experiences make us better and therefore we should allow our story to be told. I was friends with a girl who was deemed ugly when I was a child, she was soft-spoken and intelligent. No one saw that instead they saw her flaws, didn’t deem her worthy enough and ridiculed her. Boys taunted her, saw as some virus that needed to be cured.

They avoided her. There are people who have gone through that and ended up being called the most beautiful person in the world. They’re stories of people who have vitiligo who have achieved things that most people can’t. They’re stories of people who were born different and yet, they have proved that their stories are worth being told. But when you allow the hurt of the past to define you, then it will never ever leave you. 

It will never get better

Until you realize that what people say about you doesn’t define you then it will control you. For the longest time, I believed I was stupid because everyone around me acted as though I was. Was it hard? Of course, but we all go through hardship. Mine was in the classroom, playground and at home. Trying to grasp concepts I couldn’t understand. 

The quitting attitude comes when we allow the past to define us. We use excuses to protect us, but in the long run, we are doing more harm than good. It affects the way we look at ourselves, our self-esteem is lowered.

You go through moments when you remember that you failed in the past, that fear pushes you back. Because you see yourself as a victim of your past. But if you don’t let go of that pain, it will hinder you. You’ll become bitter, unforgiving and angry. That is not living. I am not a personal development coach. My experience stems from knowing that the past has a way of turning the purest of souls into drones. 

 You need to find a way to let go of the past so you can achieve what you are meant to do. 

Fear will control you

Don’t let fear control you because if you do then you’ll always be afraid to step out of your box. We’re all different and on some level, we know this. However, that doesn’t equate to us going for what makes us happy. Doing professions that we love. That is the problem, we have no idea what to do with our lives. They’re those that do, but they never go for their dreams.

Sometimes, we want people to root for us in the background. Cheer us on and what I have come to understand is very few people will be in your corner. Not because they don’t care about you, but they’re battling with their own fears. Because of that they find that they can’t build you up. They can’t cheer for you when they are so uncertain of themselves.

We walk around with mirrors, where ever we go. We want people to see us for being brave, but most of us are afraid to go after what we want. Quit the job we hate, walk away from certainty, say no to our peers and friends. It’s hard to do that. So, we pretend and we go on like this, never realizing our potential because we’re terrified. 

Living a life of regret isn’t worth it

Here’s the thing it is better to fail dozens of times then regret never actually going for something. Yes, failing sucks. It is agonizing having to go through that, we all fail. Even successful people fail, we don’t know about it because their successes outnumber their failures. But everyone goes through it. I can go through a list of people who have failed, but after a while it sounds corny. 

The question I want you to ask yourself is at the end of your life or when you turn sixty-five, what to you want to be known for? Then I want you to think what you want your life to be like right now, not tomorrow or a few months in the past. Can you imagine your life? Do you want to travel, see more of the world, write a book, sing on stage, do public speaking. Be featured on magazines, work for a charity, start a restaurant. There’s nothing impossible, you can do anything as long as you set

your mind to it. If you work on it, then you’ll achieve it. We were created for a purpose, sometimes, we forget that. 

So, believe in your heart that you’re here for a reason. Don’t let your past define you. Don’t let the words of strangers in your past hold you from achieving all you want to.

What is your one takeaeway from this post? Let me known in the comments section. 

                                                                      KEEP  P USHING

                                                               VANESSA