When loss and pain get in the way, a result of this is a broken spirit and a despondent smile that refuses to slip away into the morning. Even when dawn breaks the pain is reflected in the melting wax, the soft glimmer of the light and the pain of a broken smile. It is hard to let go of years of abuse. Instead, we become mistrustful and choose to walk the road alone. I have been there dozens of times, my pen moving on pages of a journal. My thoughts burned as I tried my best to get out the words in time, tears mixing with the ink, blotching the once clear handwriting and truly reflecting what I feel inside. 

The burden of it all, a cry for help that everyone refuses to listen to. The darkness calling my name as I took a step forward, my heart beating as if the air is being choked out of me and my name is called like a thousand bells in the morning. But with time, I would heal so I thought, but years went by and the wound got bigger until I was sinking in the quicksand of my own making. I was the destroyer of worlds, so I believed. I was destroying myself and therefore anyone who came close to me was near the flame.

It has taken years for me to come out of the storm, to understand that I was so lost in my own pain that I had forgotten how I could see the beauty in life. To me, beauty was nothing more than a crafty illusion that whispered words of nonsense expecting me to accept its lies. The loneliness that I accepted had created a void that sucked everything in it and there were the voices that spoke and crippled the best parts of me. So, I believed and it is now that I realize I was in a daze. With all that goes on in the world and the problems that strike a chord, it is easy to see the world as black and white.

Let go of the pain

When I was a kid I hated the world, my anger was so strong that I was mistrustful. Though I tried to ignore the anger crawling over my skin, it didn’t work. I couldn’t let go of the pain I experienced when I closed my eyes all I saw were people ogling me and I heard laughter. I was ashamed of who I was and I never wanted to smile and when I did, it was so fake.

For a long time I lied to myself, pretending that I was okay, but I knew that wasn’t the case. I didn’t know how to love, how to be happy and it all stemmed from the pain that I refused to let go. We get so used to pain that we forget how to not live without it and once that happens, time passes and we forget a time when we were truly happy. People wear masks and I wore so many masks that along the way I forgot who I was. You are who you are today because of the pain that you chose to hold on to. Most of us do that and use it as a shield. A wall to protect us from those who threaten to destroy us.

At the time of crafting the plan it might seem an ideal way not to get burned, but life doesn’t work like that. No matter what we do, there are always ways to get burned or hurt and building walls is the fastest way to do that. People who never let go of their pain never go anywhere in life. If you want to be successful in your life, to truly be happy or be all that you want to be, you must let go of the pain. Even if it has comforted you. What you will realize is that it did far more harm than good.

 Also Read: Why You Shouldn’t Let The Past Define You

Step out of your comfort zone

Sometimes the best way to see the way beauty in everything is to actually step out of your comfort zone. To meet new people that you normally would never meet. It is here that you realize there’s so much to life than your pain or problems, often it is hard to forget that we spend our times doing the same old things.

Stepping out of your comfort zone is a scary thing to do because you can’t control the outcome. You have no idea what will happen next and that is a good thing. That is the best way to get you out of your funk which is what you need to do. You have to accept that you spent your whole life in thinking about the past and you have to move on.

Also Read: 10 Ways to Overcome Fear and Break Out of Your Comfort Zone

Stop running and face it

Most of us run away from our problems. We are so used to doing that, it is ingrained in us and when facing problems we run away. I once was told that no matter where you go your problems go with you. And that is so true, we believe that changing our surroundings, makes life easier. For a brief moment, your problems go away. But what I have realized is that not dealing with your problems is not a solution. 

Forgetting your problems for a few hours isn’t detrimental, but longer than that, more problems will come your way. You have to stop running or pretending that everything is okay. You have to face the pain, the problems and figure out way out of it. It is only then that you will truly heal. Running away isn’t the solution, neither is ignoring your problems. It can seem a simple solution, but it does come with its set of problems. Realizing that will save you a lot of pain and tumult. 

What curveballs has life thrown that has stopped you moving forward? Comment below.

                                                                                               KEEP  P USHING

                                                                                                    VANESSA