Last year was one hell of a year. A lot of things happened. Most of it wasn’t good and yes, you had reasons for the bumpy ride. But This year should be different. We should move forward and not backward, but can we do that? How can we move past certain barriers that can keep us, prisoners? This is a good question. One that might not be as easy as it may seem. 

First, let’s address the meaning behind self-sabotage. These are behaviors or thought patterns that prevent you from doing what you want. Many of us can sabotage ourselves. No one is exempt from it, and especially if you don’t know you do it. That is why this article is one of the best ones you will read because it will show you how to master self-sabotage. If you want this year to be better than last year, there are things you need to do. It won’t be that easy, but it’s important to push yourself to change your behaviors. Just like a child who has to learn to do something, you will need to master self-sabotage.

The question is why is mastering self-sabotage important. If 2020 taught us anything, it is that life is short. A blip on the grander scheme of things, and if you don’t push yourself, then you’ll always wonder why. And if you never go for what you want or learn how to do that regret will follow you around. No one wants that. No one wants to live a life of regret or to feel as indecision has prevented them from going for what they truly want. Therefore, in this post, you will read about the six ways you can master self-sabotage. 

Don’t go down the comparison pit

Many of us do this. We almost believe that if we go down into the comparison pit, we will find something. But like Alice, what we find on the other side isn’t what we thought we would find. That’s the thing about comparison: it takes a lot out of you. With the rise of social media, it has become easier to compare ourselves to others. Comparing yourself is pointless because there are things we don’t take into consideration.

Let’s look at how people compare those on social media. They look at their success and compare it to themselves. How does it look? How many followers do they have? What does their life look like? That’s fine, but let’s be honest, for a second would you compare a Toyota to a Land Rover. Of course not because the cars are made differently, and their purpose is also different. I know little about cars, but if I had little money to spare, I would buy a Toyota. And if I had more money, I would buy a Land Rover. The more experienced person would make more money. Because once you learn from your mistakes, you know which direction to move in.

The best way to master self-sabotage is to stop comparing yourself. Our experiences are unique, so why compare. Our journey is unique, so why do you compare yourself. The purpose of our account is different, and therefore we should stop comparing. Once you go down the comparison pit, climbing out will be a challenge, so don’t dare do that to yourself.

Also Related: How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Perfection isn’t an option

Okay, I am guilty of this. I can be a perfectionist, but this does no one any good. Another way to master self-sabotage is for you to realize perfection isn’t an option. Many of us want to make everything perfect, including the situation, and that’s why we achieve nothing.

Time runs away from us expecting everything to be perfect. If everyone did this, then they wouldn’t be Amazon, eBay, Apple, or Netflix. None of these waited for perfection. Because perfection doesn’t exist. Even if you want it to, there’s no such thing. And to push the needle forward, you got to realize that and accept it. Except that perfect isn’t an option. When I was younger, I kept waiting for the perfect timing.

I thought if I was patient enough it would come to me. I would have the perfect scenario for starting a business, and ironically it happened. The perfect timing, but it didn’t last. It was short-lived. It was then that I realized how much time I wasted waiting for the perfect timing. Hoping like a lightning rod, I would find it. Find that thing I desperately thought I needed.

Remember, there’s no such thing as perfect timing and this includes situations. Grab life by the horns to make it what you want it to be. You believe that by pushing yourself, things will work out. Once you push yourself, you won’t have to wait for the perfect timing. Instead, you will make the best out of every situation. This is one way you can master self-sabotage. 

Let go of the past

The reason many of us struggle with mastering self-sabotage is not being able to let go of the past. When I was a kid, I struggled with school. The traumatic experience of consistently failing and feeling as if I wouldn’t make it made it hard for me to do anything. The past would always remind me of my failure and when I did a project, everything would rush back at me.

I would scold myself and tell myself that this was simply fate. If I couldn’t pass seventh grade, then how could I possibly succeed in life? I had to learn that the past doesn’t dictate who I am or where I go. Only I can do that. One of the hardest things I had to do was let go of the past. This is one way you can master self-sabotage by letting go of your past. The past guides you or helps you make better decisions. The lessons you learned will make you better, but if you refuse to move past the trauma, it will push you back.

It will stop you from going after what you want. If I didn’t, let go of the past, I would have refused to do a lot of things. I would have given up. Choosing that it is better to give up than going forward.

Also Related: 7 Things Holding You Back in Life

Accept constructive criticism

Most people don’t like criticism, and that is because we weren’t taught how to accept it. Often we see it as being scolded as a teacher would do. But that isn’t the case, and many of us don’t know the difference between constructive or destructive criticism. Constructive criticism shows you how you can improve in a particular area. Whereas destructive criticism gives the perception that you can’t grow or improve.

One builds you up while one destroys you. You need to learn to filter out any noise that you perceive as destructive. If someone points out what you did wrong, but doesn’t give you an insight into what you can do to improve, then that’s destructive criticism. Another way to master self-sabotage is to accept constructive criticism. Don’t see it as a sign you have failed. In high school, I attempted public speaking, and I failed at it. But because of what I was told, I could use that to improve. When I was in college, I won a trophy for public speaking.

Constructive criticism will push the needle forward and help you grow so much faster. But you have to accept it and learn from your mistakes. This way you learn much quicker. Always remind yourself that mistakes are part of the process. Those mistakes will help you grow so much faster. 

Don’t let the house of cards collapse

I had to learn how to wake up early, and that wasn’t easy. I understood that waking up would help me be more productive, but they would be days when this wouldn’t happen. What normally happened because of this is I would get frustrated. It led me to have a bad day. The reason I would have a bad day was because of one moment that didn’t work out how I wanted it to.

 Being hard on yourself is a sign of self-sabotage. Why? Because you are allowing one imperfect moment to let you slip into a dark place. This wasn’t a big issue, but I made it into one. I wanted to accomplish goals and because I didn’t wake up when I wanted; I refused to work on my dreams. It was as if me waking up at the wrong time was a sign the day would end on a sour note.

 If you want to master self-sabotage, you got to learn to not let the house of cards fall. Don’t allow one moment to prevent you from going after what you want. You can’t allow imperfect timing or unplanned situations that wreck your mood to stop you from having a great day. This does the opposite of helping you. 

Plan your day

This one I had to learn the hard way. I used to watch influencers talk about how they planned their days and I would huff. “I don’t have to do that,” I would say. There’s a reason planning your day, week, month and year are so important. It takes away the stress and frustration from figuring it out. This is the last way you can master self-sabotage.

My life is so much better and easier to manage now that I can plan my days and months. I now plan my blog posts, videos, content, and products I want to sell. Each goal has a deadline and I can work towards that. And I won’t get bogged down with information overload. Planning your day is so important for several reasons, but it will reduce the pressure. You won’t feel as if you are swimming in a pool of unrealized ideas or struggle to keep up with deadlines.

There’s a reason the most productive people use scheduling apps or any other productivity app. The most productive companies use these as well. It’s cumbersome to find the right one that works for you. You can check out the one I use below. 

Free Scheduling App

How has self-sabotage impacted your life and how will you master it? Comment below

                                                                                                                     KEEP  PUSHING

                                                                                                       VANESSA