Hidden signs of Self-Sabotage: Here’s How You’re you’re self-sabotaging yourself

Confession time. I am sometimes a big procrastinator, but I’m learning to curb that and stop. It’s a journey. I have learned that they are hidden signs that I’ve been self-sabotaging myself. Here’s the truth. I have ADHD. Now I have highs then I have really low lows. What I mean by this is I will have all these ideas buzzing in my brain and then my body gets into gear. It’s as if I can’t do anything wrong. All things I have been wanting to do I get it done. Then I have low lows when my brain tells me this is impossible and I become unwilling to switch up gears and make it work. One of the hidden signs of self-sabotage for me is allowing ADHD to control my life. 

ADHD doesn’t go away just because I want it to. I need to find ways to make it cooperate. Now that’s a challenge, but we all have challenges. The key here is whether we allow said challenge to make things harder for us. If we do then it will never stop. Challenges don’t come and go like the weather. Let’s say you got fired. They are three ways to look at this. You get angry at how unfair life is, go job-hunting for another job (of course,) or try something new. Even when you get another job, at the back of your mind there’s this fear that you will get canned again.

This is one hidden sign of self-sabotage. You feel as if you already failed before you did. We all have to learn to accept and appreciate challenges for what they are. What are they? Simple. Lessons. I know you have heard this before, but we all need reminders. Challenges are lessons. They are so many people who dropped out of college and ended up becoming inventors and entrepreneurs. They are people who got fired and who got back up and started something new. Heck, they are people who broke up with their partners and got back up. 

Below are a few hidden signs you are self-sabotaging yourself. 

Self-Fulling Prophecies

What is this? Some mambo jumbo. No. This is science. I love science you can call me a bit of a nerd. Our brains are more powerful than a computer. We can process information so much faster than any computer. Unless you’re dealing with those high-tech processing machines that no normal human being has access to. Okay, you might have met your match if you come across this computer. 

Self-fulling prophecies are just your brain processing information and then it sends signals to another part of your brain. Your brain then sends these signals throughout your body and usually when that happens your whole body has gotten the message. This how powerful our brains are/ Every word or string of words is put into an image in our brain. If you are extremely visual then it’s worse for you. This hidden sign of self-sabotage is keeping you from going after your goals. Let me explain. If you tell yourself you can’t do something, you’re creating a new habit. 

When you don’t do something, you’re telling your brain and body that it isn’t important. This hidden sign of self-sabotage is why you have been procrastinating. 

How you fix it:

A simple way to fix this hidden sign of self-sabotage is by changing the way you phrase things. Instead of saying I don’t have enough time it changes to I have enough time. Do this for everything. Change “I want to start a business but I don’t know how,” to “I want to start a business and I will learn how to.”

Also Read: I Think Therefore, I Am

Procrastinator

As an ADHDer, I can be a big procrastinator. I’m learning not to make it my personality, but that means every day I have to work at it. This hidden sign has been self-sabotaging me for years. Every year I come up with a new way to work through it. I hate uncomfortable things so I tend to push them on the back burner. This certainly isn’t helpful. Many of us do tend to procrastinate maybe not as much as ADHDers, but that doesn’t mean we don’t.

Things that seem too complicated or uncomfortable put us on the edge of our seats. Unless you’re a hard-core adrenaline junkie most of us don’t want to feel that kind of intensity all the time. You know what I mean. Butterflies in your stomach. Wanting to puke or throwing your laptop across the living room floor? Maybe the last bit is an exaggeration, but you get my point. Procrastination is one of the biggest hidden signs of self-sabotage. 

How to fix it:

They are two ways to deal with this. Embody a can-do attitude. What this means is instead of believing you can’t do something, start believing that you can. If you can’t learn something then you try. Babies and kids are great examples of this. No kid is born knowing how to do anything, but they try. As adults, we need to start working on this.

The second way is just to do it. Whenever you want to do something just do it. Don’t overthink or analyze. Keep yourself preoccupied with the task at hand. What do you need to do to get it done? Let’s say you want to learn the guitar. Look at the first steps and start from there. Learn about types of guitars. Doing this will make you think about buying one. When you buy one you won’t talk yourself out of it. Get lessons or even purchase a course online. Now that you’re investing time and resources you are now hooked. 

These are two ways to deal with this hidden sign of self-sabotage.

 You’re overthinking

Raise your hands if you’re an overthinker. That there is me. I overthink everything until it drives me nuts. This usually results in me not doing anything because I talk myself out of it. “I’m ready.” Then bam, another string of words comes in. “Are you sure you can do it today? Aren’t you tired?” Just thinking about being tired makes me feel tired. 

This hidden sign of self-sabotage is what gets introverts. Most extroverts tend to go with an I’m going to do something attitude. Being an overthinker and not being one aren’t bad things. Our brains are all different. You just need to know how to work with what you have. This hidden sign of self- sabotage is stopping you from achieving your goals.

How to fix it:

Stop analyzing every single thing. Work with what you have. Let’s say you want to start a YouTube channel, but feel like you don’t have everything. First, do you have a phone? If you do then you have all you need for now. Grab a phone tripod and a ring light. If you can afford it. If not just make sure you film in front of windows for the light. There you go. Often we’re the ones stopping ourselves because we want to have an elaborate setup at step one. 

No one has everything in the beginning. They use what they have then they work with that. One thing to remember is finding solutions to dealing with hidden signs of self-sabotage will give you the ammunition you need to have control of your life. 

Limiting Beliefs

This hidden sign gets most or all of us at some point in our lives. We’re not immune to its tentacles until we learn. Here’s the thing we all have foibles. Things we loathe and often these are things that you hate about yourself the most. I’m 5 foot two inches. So I’m tiny. For the longest time, I hated this but I have come to appreciate it. Most people see me as unassuming because of my height, but that is my advantage. 

Now, this isn’t a flaw, more of a biological factor, but still, my limiting belief was built on my height. Not saying this was my only limiting belief I had many circulating in my brain. They are still there, but I choose to ignore them and focus on what I have. This hidden sign of self-sabotage can make it hard for you to go after your dreams.

This is why you need to learn how to stop allowing this hidden sign of self-sabotage from crippling you. Once you believe something strongly like a plague it will squash everything you hold dear. Your relationships. Professional life. Everything. Your dreams. This hidden sign of self-sabotage can stop you from going after your dreams and achieving your goals. 

How to fix it:

Start building life-affirming beliefs. What this is, is you tell yourself positive things about yourself. This will help you focus on the positive rather than the negative. Now once you do that you can move on to quieting the limiting belief voice. The reason why your limiting belief voice is so strong is that you’re giving power to it by listening to it. Stop listening. Then refuse to believe that voice. “No, I’m not stupid.” “No, I’m not drunk and degenerate.”

What starts happening is you are creating new neuro pathways in your brain and that will lead you to start acting on whatever you think. So, when you tell yourself you aren’t stupid, you start getting interested in learning new things.

These are a few ways to help you with the hidden signs of self-sabotage. 

Also Read: How to Stop Limiting Yourself, and Move Forward in Your Life

Final notes

Rome wasn’t built in a day. It will take you some time to learn how to implement these. Be gracious and kind to yourself. Don’t allow yourself to be self-sabotaged by these hidden signs anymore. You deserve more. Start believing that. If you fall back to old habits that’s alright. We’re human after all and there are moments when we do stumble. As long as you understand what made you stumble this will help you keep moving. They are way more hidden signs of self-sabotage out there. The key here is learning how to control them so that they don’t control you. 

What is your main take away from the blog post and what will you do to stop letting these hidden signs self-sabotage yourself? Comment below.

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                                                          Vanessa