Yes, People can change and so can you  

There’s this notion that we can’t change and it’s impossible to actually change our personality. Then they always give an excuse about their star signs as if that is the reason why they can’t change.

I have spent years changing my personality, part of me has stayed the same, but there’s another part that has changed. We make the decision to not move forward and that will take you so far off track. We all have a choice, whether to remain the same or to move forward with life. If you want to change your life you have to change the way you look at the world.

Why do I believe that people can change their personalities? When I was a little, I struggled with suicide. It isn’t normal for a ten-year-old to think about dying every day, but that was my life and this was a huge problem for me until I turned twenty-two. I also hated myself, I thought I loved who I was and yet I sacrificed myself over and over again. I allowed people to make me feel less than, I can list down all the bad habits and weaknesses I had, but that isn’t the point.

People can change, but it is all about understanding the reason why you don’t want to improve your life. You have to deal with that, head first, figure out how to sort through it. Once you do that, things do become better and easier, but you have to work at it. Time and time again, until you find you can’t work at it anymore.

I have always been like this

Whenever someone talks about change, the one excuse that is louder than anything else is, “I have always been like this.” I used to say that excuse all the time and then I realized it was doing more harm than good. Change is scary so we rely on being comfortable. Remaining who we are, with our insecurities and warped up perspective.

I am not attacking anyone, but if you can’t change who you are then you can’t grow. And if you can’t grow, you will remain the same way as you did before. I hated change and it took a while to realize the reason why I hated it was because I was a broken individual. I was terrified of the truth. Understanding it and realizing that I needed to change helped me. I needed to stop blaming the past for what I did in the present.

So, what if my childhood wasn’t rosy, a lot of people have had terrible childhoods. So, what if I have insecurities? Everyone does. When you realize that not everything is about the pain you experienced, you realize that there’s more to life. There are blessings that you have that people want. Talents that you were given so you can make a difference. When you focus on other people, you know what you have to do to change.

You either can grow or fall a part

We have two choices when it comes to going forward. To either grow or fall apart. There’s no middle ground, being fatalistic isn’t going to cut it. You can’t do everything. By default, you have chosen to fall a part. To allow your problems to infiltrate your life and change you completely that you don’t even know the difference between who you were and who you are now.

One day you will look in the mirror and not notice who you are or you will. Some people forget who they used to be because they allowed the pain from their past to change them. Life is about choices. And what you choose will affect your life regardless of whether you want it to or you don’t.

It’s that simple. I know, it feels like it isn’t, but I went through a couple of crossroads. Two moments to be exact when I was looking down a long road and I had to make a choice. To either die or live. It is scary to think that life got that bad, but we all go through these moments when we are not sure what we are doing. When we want to surrender to the darkness. Often, the sound of men lifting up their guns and marching to the sound of their own drums rings in our ears.

Choices can change moments. They can give you a reason to live, to fight for another day and to face the demons that have haunted you your whole life.

You are worth more than you think

Most of us hate change because we believe that we aren’t worthy. It is disheartening how many people don’t want to change because they don’t believe they deserve happiness. It is ingrained in us that we don’t realize that the problem is our thoughts. We don’t deserve to live a life that’s great.

For years I believed this lie and thought that it was better if the world swallowed me whole. I thought I had nothing to offer anyone. No gifts or abilities that would create an impact. There were moments I believed that I could make a difference, with time the belief withered away and was replaced by what I thought I needed.

It was numbing because the darkness captured my heart until all I heard was a dull tick and the voices of doubt rang in my ears. They were bleeding from naysayers who said I was nothing, but a fluke and I believed it. I thought they knew better and now, I know better.

We all have the power to create a change, to impact the world because we all have gone through experiences that can change someone’s life. You are worth more than you believe. You have lived a life full of hardship and an ache so profound that it has kept you moving. When you realize that, nothing can take that away from you. The sound of drums can’t stop you as long as you keep moving. Believe in yourself.

Also Read: 19 Enriching Goals That Will Inspire You

Life is a journey, don’t give up

Change never comes easy, a revelation has to take place for you to accept it. You have to quieten the voices of doubt and insecurities that take shape. Push forward because you can’t go back. Have you ever watched “Say Anything,” it is one of the best romantic movies ever created and a cult classic.

This movie is about an eternal optimist who seeks to capture the heart of the most popular girl in school. Yeah, I know, it sounds as if it has been done before, but this movie came out in 1989. The difference here is that the girl returns the sentiment, but her father doesn’t approve. Lloyd has to do whatever he can to impress her father and nothing is good enough. Eventually, there’s a part in the movie where he gives up and then he chooses that he will prove to her that he loves her. So, with a boom box, he lifts it over his head and plays a song that will express how he feels about her.

Lloyd could have given up, there were so many obstacles laid out before him and everyone would understand if he threw in the towel. Your life isn’t a romantic comedy, but still, it is a journey. There are moments of inspiration and nuggets there. Times when you think that you can’t go forward. Life has thrown too much at you so you throw in the towel. It is understandable, but I believe that you shouldn’t give up. Because if you do you will never know what can come from it.

Also Read: How Giving Up Is Not A Option?

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                                                                                        Vanessa