Overcoming Impostor Syndrome

how to overcome impostor syndrome according to marie forleo

Marie Forleo offers a lot of great advice about how to overcome impostor syndrome.

Most of us spend our whole trying to figure out who we are and struggle as we try to fight off impostor syndrome. There’s always a point in our lives where we are hit by the impostor syndrome. A condition that more than 70% of people go through and it never seems to leave. There are questions we ask ourselves that we’re not sure if we can even answer. There are a lot of great ways to overcome impostor syndrome.

More women go through this, when they believe they are impostors. I understand the feeling of trying to be all you can and still feeling like an impostor. The interesting thing here is writers go through this a lot. I have been a writer since I was thirteen and I always saw myself as an impostor.

Lately, the voice is quieter and I ignore it, but it took time to get to this point. When you don’t handle impostor syndrome it can stop you from accomplishing what you want. If you feel like a fraud, chances are you’re not going to wake up and say you want to start a cooking blog. If you got past that stage then you are still being ridiculed with the voice that tells you that you’re a clown.

That voice laughs and sneers. It seems with time it gets louder, so sure that it believes it knows what’s best, but it doesn’t. You want to curl up in a ball and sink into your bed, only to be reminded that successful people don’t hide from the world, they grab it by the bull horns. Oh, the cliche. Yup, we have that internal monologue telling us we should do better. Rarely, do we remind it that we are human and therefore, need a moment or two to get our bearing?

There are so many opinions out there on how to beat impostor syndrome and most of the time it says you should ignore it. That won’t help. As a kid did you ever ignore your tormentors? If you were like me and didn’t like confrontation you probably did. What happened was they got even meaner and the words they threw at you cut deeper? So, don’t ignore your tormentor. Here, is what Marie Forleo says you should do.

The advice was so mind-blowing that I decided to write a whole post dedicated to it. So, here we go.

As a shame researcher, I know that the best thing to do in the midst of a shame attack is totally counterintuitive: Practice courage and reach out.”

The Whole point of imposter syndrome is to shame you and make you feel as if following your dream is the biggest mistake of your life. You know, that voice that tells you, “are you kidding who do you think you are? Look at you, you can’t even walk and you think you can help anyone?” Oh, the jab.

But, if you want that shame to slip into the darkest corners of your mind, you got to do something that will terrify you. You need a big dose of courage, take a step back and tell someone about it. You can trust a friend with your innermost fears. I know that it is terrifying because what if they don’t understand where you are coming from.

Most people go through it so don’t worry, you are not alone, right there. If you need something to push you, remember to puff out your chest, take deep breaths and just do it. Don’t listen to the repetitive voice of fear that often makes you squirm.

Also Read: How to Overcome Impostor Syndrome?

Shine your light out, not in

This was golden advice. The problem with the impostor syndrome is that the focus is on us, when you focus your attention on people and helping them then

we won’t think were frauds. Remember as a kid, stealing cookies when your mother told you that it would ruin your dinner. If you had siblings who boldly stepped out and stole a cookie jar, not thinking twice about it and they never were caught. However, when you attempted to do just that then well, it never ended well for you. The difference is your sibling didn’t focus on the negative, on themselves, but you were having panic attacks, eyeing every shadow, believing it was your mother.

When we focus on the negative it heightens everything. From our fear, insecurities and that’s because our light is shining on us. When we turn that flashlight to shine on being the best person, helping others, we don’t have time to worry about feeling like a fraud.

Start a hype fail

You think you are a fraud, because you have spent your time listening to people say negative things about you. What if you focus on all the people who thanked you for helping them or told you that you inspire them.

It’s more rewarding. I know what you are thinking, that what if they were only being kind. We all go there, but very few people say things they don’t mean. Have you ever gone out in an outfit that you liked, but people either never said anything about it or they passed snarky remarks. Or maybe, they said you looked great, but the face didn’t agree with words. Yeah, we have all been there. So, you know the difference between genuine compliments and those meant to mess with your self-esteem.

Pay attention to the genuine ones and have a running list of compliments you have been given. If you want to go out you can have a literal file or journal where you store these. The purpose of this isn’t so you get a big head, but understand that you are not a fraud.

Track your successes and stumbles

We all fail, you can’t avoid it. We all make mistakes, that’s part of the learning process. Ignoring the mistakes you make is a guarantee that you will make the same ones. And if we didn’t make mistakes, how are we supposed to learn. Every year, you can do a review of your successes and stumbles. That will show you that you’re more than a label or condition.

That you have conquered your demons and stared fear right down in the face. Unless you acknowledge how far you have come, you will always go five steps backward. It’s hard thing to swallow, but your success story is one that no one can take from you. Your stumbles are your reasons why you are at this point in your life. Good or bad, they have given you a deeper understanding of who you are.

Also Read: What I learned About Success From Vanessa Lau

Get a go-to mantra

I love this one, the most because it is a little reminder that you can do this. How many times have you gone through a challenge and reminded yourself that you can do this? When you gave yourself a pep talk, you accomplished your goal and you felt better.

Whatever you tell yourself will come true. If you tell yourself that you are the biggest joke then you will be, so you have to keep telling yourself you can do this. You word it in a way that you respond to and you can even do a happy dance if you want to go crazy.

I had this friend who used to do a happy dance whenever she was about to do something she was scared about. Whenever she did that, she accomplished what she set out. The most important thing is believing you can do it because a little bit of faith can move anything even a mountain. That’s why need a go-to mantra. Something that will encourage you when times get hard.

Be humble

There are people out there that need to eat humble pie. Don’t be a know-it-all. Because no one knows everything, and if you don’t just admit it. You don’t lose anything from admitting that you don’t know what you are doing.

When you think about it even the most successful people admit that they don’t know everything so if they can do it then you can. You are not compensating from your impostor syndrome by preventing you have a solution for every problem under the sun. It can take time to get there, but it is worth it because you learn more from being humble.

People are more willing to help those that don’t know anything.

These are a few ways you can actually stop impostor syndrome before it cripples you. What strategies do you like the most and what is your go-to manta?Remember, baby steps, it takes time to get to where you want to be so take it one day at a time.

Keeping Pushing

Vanessa