How To Figure Out What You Want Without Losing It

by vanessa | May 8, 2019 | Entrepreneurs, motivation

How To figure out what you want without losing your mind?

Figuring out what you want is only half the battle, the other is going after it.

Before choosing entrepreneurship, I wanted to be an inventor, psychologist, singer, reporter, event planner and the list goes on. One of the hardest questions to answer is what we want and what we want in life? The two are linked by a loose string that gets tighter the harder it gets to answer the question. The truth is most of us have no freaking clue what we want because that often is the question dangling in our mind. The question usually dangles a white flag in our mind is what am I even doing?

That question often gives us such a migraine that everything else seems like a cruel joke and we go on a self-discovery until we figure out what we want. People tell us when we get older we’ll figure it out, but we never do. There’s so much going on in our lives that we don’t have time to figure it so we do what every sane person does give up the goose. That is what most of us do? From the time we are kids to eighteen, we ask questions until we give it up. We go to college for four years, studying a degree that makes us want to crawl under the bed. All so we can graduate and work in a job we hate.

This isn’t a blog post really about your passion. The truth is most of us go through dozens of dreams before settling down on the one dream that gives us such a powerful feeling. It electrifies every electron and gives us this feeling of being alive. That feeling of being alive, it is an opium to the dream seekers. The ones who crave a life with their very soul, the ones with arms stretched wide and who don’t care if they look sane.

Most of us do care, for the most part, we just don’t want to lose our mind. So, here it goes.

What don’t you want

Most of us have no clue what we want. That is the problem. What we do know is what we don’t want? We might not want to wake up early in the morning, to eat cold breakfast or to work in a manual labor job. I used to want to be a singer, I thought it would make me happy. I spent five years trying out being a singer, I entered the Nashville Songwriting competition thinking it would be my golden ticket.

Of course, I was wrong, I didn’t go into the final rounds of the competition. However, Nashville still wanted to produce my song. Here’s the thing, I had to pay money for it to be produced. I found myself at crossroads, I wanted proof that I was good enough. I might not have been the best songwriter they found, but I had a choice to change that. My heart wasn’t in it. Along the way I realized I didn’t want to be a singer, I didn’t want to spend years cracking into the music industry. My passion has withered away and I realized it was nothing more than an illusion.

It took me five years to realize this, often we hold onto dreams, thinking it is what we want. Until we ask the hard question, what don’t I want? My dream was an illusion and I gave it up without thinking twice about it. Illusions come and go, but dreams stay. No matter, how old you become there are the whispers telling you the road you are embarking on is the wrong one.

Focus on experience

Our experiences shape us into who we later on become. Often we don’t utilize them fully and are left with gaping holes on what we should do next. The thing is we have lived full lives, spanning decades and all of us have experiences. We have gone through things that have taught, shaped and molded us into the person we are now. I have always wanted to be a writer, that is the one dream that has never left me, regardless of how old I have gotten.

My experience with writing is filled to the brim with stories that never got published, rejection letters or the silence of a windy city. But what I have discovered is rejection is inevitable and it can come from anyone even your family members or closest friends. I experienced rejection at thirteen and instead of it pushing me back, it made me relentless. There are these pivotal moments in our lives that teach us who we are and who we will become.

How does a thirteen-year-old know who they will be at twenty, twenty-six or even at thirty? The thing is they don’t, but they catch a glimpse of what they want. Rely on your experiences to tell you what you want from life. It can be even on a small scale. It doesn’t have to be grand in scale, but an important moment in your life you can rely on.

What do you want to be known for?

Growing up my mother had this saying, she’d ask me what I want to be known for? Then she’d say, leave an impact in everything you do. At the time, I had no idea what she was talking about. I was twelve, so I had no idea what I wanted to be known for. All I wanted was to live a full life. It was later on, I realized I wanted to be known for changing people’s lives with stories. I have always been a storyteller, even when I told people events, they were always as if I was telling a story.

I hated it when people told me that because it felt as if I was a joke. Now, I realize, that is who I am as a person. It is the embodiment of all that I am. What is the one thing you want to be known for? It doesn’t have to be on a grand scale, it might simply be making people happy. One of my dearest friends has a sunshine personality, she knows how to make the people around her comfortable without even trying. Sometimes we think that we have to wow the world on a great stage or be a big personality. The truth is not all of us are public speakers, actors or politicians. And we don’t have to be to leave a footprint.

Look at your inspirations

In my dreams, I sat with legends, discussing topics. I had posters of legends, I collected poems and quotes from the greats. I read their books, fell into the words and sang their praises. They were all I wanted to be and more. I crafted dreams of living a life they lived. Changing lives, one word at a time and so my story unfolded. We all admire people, often it can be a family member or someone with a larger platform. The truth is that it doesn’t matter who inspires us, what matters is what we do with that?

The people who inspire you, motivate you to be someone better than yourself. As a kid, my role model was my sister and that is the reason why I wanted to be a singer. I wanted to be more like her. She was in the choir and performed in high school. The older I got, the number of role models I had increased and authors inspired me more than performers. Entrepreneurs pushed me and I looked to them for inspiration on how to manifest my goals.

This is one of the easiest ways to figure out what you want without losing your mind. Without thinking that your dream is odd or too big. The truth is before these people achieved success they were like you and me. Trying to figure this thing called life before they lost their mind. So, if they can do it then there’s no reason you can’t.

What do you think you want in life? Comment below

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Vanessa

How To Make The Most Of Your Time

by vanessa | May 1, 2019 | Entrepreneurs

Busy and burnt out: how to make the most of your time

Use these simple strategies to be more productive and avoid burn out

Many of us are so burnt out that we have no idea how to make the most out of our time. Most of us are overworked, underpaid and stressed all the time. There never seems to be enough time to do the things that we love to do. There’s always a million things out there to do. Your to-do list is always overstuffed and a lot of the time it can be depressing.

We want more time freedom and the problem is that we have no idea how to obtain it. So, instead of figuring ways around it, we use the same methods we used before until we crash and burn. The worst thing for you to do is overwork until you crash and burn. Because when that happens, you’ll be pushed back farther than you know and trying to keep up will become a chore. The question though then is how do we get more done without burnout. Productivity isn’t as complicated as we make it. I get it most people don’t have enough time to do all the things they want to do.

I have friends who are constantly working and find themselves exhausted by the weekend because they don’t have enough time. Though the truth is often we think that we need hours in order for us to achieve our goals, but even thirty minutes a day is sufficient enough time. I got ill recently, to the point where my health was in jeopardy. I realized I was burning far too quickly. I was too overwhelmed and that was because I wasn’t taking enough breaks. I wasn’t allowing myself to relax and that there is a problem many of us go through.

Track your time

So much time is wasted thinking, waiting and procrastinating. I am a master at this, so one of the best things to do is track your time. There are dozens of free apps you can use to do this. This will make you stay on point so you don’t waste time thinking about what you should do next. This is why gurus say that it is important for you to keep a to-do list.

This is to ensure you don’t waste time thinking about what you should next. Instead, you use the time you have effectively. As a starting ground, you can work in twenty five minute sessions As odd as it sounds, you can do a lot of things in twenty-five minutes than an hour because it is focused on the task at hand. If use that time wisely, you will be shocked at all you achieve. Depending on how much time you can spare a day you can use that to finish tasks at hand.

Instead of a to-do list do a don’t list

I am always researching ways to be more productive and this is a recent concept I came across. There are people who use this technique but in a different way. Warren Buffett uses the concept in his 5/25 strategy. The difference here is with the don’t list is it helps you prioritize on what you should do right at this second. It helps you figure out what you don’t need to do today.

Most of us have a long to-do list that never ends and that is why you should have a don’t list. You can use it along with your to-do list. This way you focus on what is important and what you can delegate. For example, if you need to do grocery shopping, you can always pay for the things to be delivered to your home. Most countries offer that service. If you are not a social media expert, you can delegate that to someone. So you can focus on what is important to you.

If you require your house to be cleaned, you can hire someone to help you out. I understand that with delegation comes the costly impact, so you can’t always do it.

Once in a while, it helps. I once heard Pete Voogd say in a podcast that often you have to figure out what is important for you right at this second and do that. Everything else comes second.

If you struggle with productivity and you want to know a few productivity hacks to help you make the most out of your time, you can find a blog post about it here.

Warren Buffett’s 5/25 strategy

I was considering whether I should add this or I shouldn’t, but Warren Buffet’s strategy works. So, I decided to talk more about it. The story goes that before an airplane takeoff, Warren Buffet walked up to the pilot of his private jet, Mike Flint and said to him, ” The fact that you’re still working for me, tells me I’m not doing my job. You should be out, going after more of your goals and dreams.”

Buffett then took Flint through a simple quick process to gain clarity on his priorities and achieve his goals. It was a three-step strategy. The step is to first write down

your top twenty-five goals. Draw a circle around your top five goals and focus only on those top five. The reason is those five goals are what you should be focusing on right now and after you finish those five you go down the list. Repeat the process.

There’s a reason why Warren Buffett has achieved the success he has. He is persistent with his goals. And that persistence and relentlessness has not let him down.

James Clear explains how to use Warren Buffet’s strategy to help you focus and prioritize.

Take a break

Have time off, take a break and relax. The reason why most people burn out is that they are constantly working and they don’t do anything for themselves. Life is precious, but you can only appreciate it if you allow yourself to and most of us never do. I have learned that one of the most refreshing things to do is self-care, this differs for people. A lot of people like to take themselves out, go to a spar, do facials or even go to the gym.

It depends on what makes you happy. I would recommend something else other than watching television. As relaxing as it may seem, you are still wasting energy and you don’t get enough dopamine to make it worthwhile. Dopamine is the happy hormone. In fact, television can increase cortisol levels which do nothing more than increase stress.

What methods do you think will work for you? How much time do you have to dedicate to your goals? Comment below.

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Vanessa

How To Actually Get Things Done

by vanessa | Apr 17, 2019 | Entrepreneurs, Success

How to actually get things done

Make the most of your day by learning how to get things done.

If you want to be productive and kick procrastination to the curb then in this blog post I will show you how to get things done. Getting things done isn’t easy, we struggle with it to a certain extent. There’s always something else that we need to do or a distraction that stops us from getting things done. Whatever the reason is it is hard to be productive these days. We all want to be productive and most of us struggle to actually do that.

It’s not particularly our fault, life is hectic. Time flies by far too quickly and often we’re a jumble of wires, trying to figure life out. There’s no time to do what we love and that is the problem. I have friends who have hectic schedules, they often find it hard to do anything when they have free time. Most of us don’t have the time or don’t know to use it wisely, I’m not an expert, but I was a major procrastinator.

I still struggle with it. I didn’t hit the lottery and all of sudden everything fell into place, some days are hard, others are easier. I just know how to work the system

and that is because of trial and error. I know what works and what doesn’t. All because I attempted to do the impossible, to seek something outside of myself. The great thing is if you want a checklist of all these steps, there’s a freebie down below.

Schedule your day, the night before

Stop wasting time, an easy way to get things done is to schedule your day, the night before. This is by one of the easiest ways to become more productive and get things done. This way, you make progress because as soon as you wake up you can concentrate on the things that matter.

We waste more time thinking about what we have to do than we actually doing it. If you don’t want to do that, you need to write a short list of all the

activities you have to do. You can use different productivity tools for you do that from eating a frog to a simple to-do list. That is all it takes to get things done.

As complicated as it is, it really isn’t. All you have to do is dedicate at least ten minutes in the evening to write down what you need to do the next day. A quick suggestion is don’t try to add too many items to your to-do list. One of the worst things is to have a 25 item to-do list and barely make it half way down. There’s a difference between working hard and smart.

Focus on tasks that require immediate action and move from there. Keep it light, baby steps are far important than leaping over boulders.

Wake up, at an godly hour

As hard as it may be, one of the best ways to get a lot of things done is to wake early, when you do that your mind will focus on the task at hand and it is easier to focus on what needs to be done.

Waking up early is one of the hardest things to do, but it’s a lot easier than we think it is. It all comes down to what time you go to bed. I go to bed really early so I can wake up at 4 am every day. Some days when I want to get more done, I actually wake up at 3 am. I have I cracked the code to wake up. You have to want it bad enough that you sacrifice sleep.

Even if you wake up, do a bit of work and go back to sleep for an hour before work or school. You have done far more work than people who wake up later than usual. Successful people wake up early and if you want to be happier, more energetic then you have to wake up early. As hard as it might be, you have to do it so you can move forward in life.

That is your first step. I recommend going to bed at 8 to 10 pm everyday. That way you get at least 6 – 7 hours of sleep. And that is all you really need. Waking up early will help you to get things done, it will give you a edge over a lot of people. When I started waking up early, that helped me with procrastination and I started doing more and getting things done in time.

This is a productivity hack and if you are interested in knowing more productivity hacks to help you get things done, you can find the blog post I wrote about it here.

Block out the noise

To be in the zone, I use earphones or headphones. I tend to write more or concentrate for longer periods when I do that. There’s so much distraction out there that it is easier for you to lose your focus listening to someone talking on the phone or a dog barking.

There are studies that suggest, productivity actually increases when you’re listening to music using headphones. I definitely think you should try it out and see what happens.

If you want to get things done, you need to block out the noise so that you can be more productive. There are many ways you can block the noise, you could listen to motivational clips or music. Blocking out the noise is one of the best ways to help you get things done. When you focus more on what you are doing rather than all the things you have to do this pushes you.

Eat the frog

Start with the hardest task first early on. I usually write when I wake up because it requires the most brain power. Sometimes I don’t write early in the morning and I realize it’s a lot harder for me to complete this task during the day. Eating the frog helps you focus on completing tasks that require more time or more brain power.

This is why it is important to wake up early. Our bodies are more energetic the less time we spend in bed. You should actually test it out and you’ll find out that you can complete hard tasks early in the morning without breaking a sweat. Not saying that it’s easy, but doing this early in the morning, does help you out in the end. What normally would have taken hours to complete or days because of procrastination you can do it in a few hours early in the morning.

In the first thing in the morning, start with your hardest task, whatever it might be and focus on finishing it. Brian Tracy wrote an interesting blog post about Eating the frog as a way to manage time, if you want to know more about it, you can read more about it here.

Take breaks

You have to take breaks, it’s human nature to do so. Perfection and productivity depend on taking breaks, the more breaks you take, the more you get done. The length of your breaks can be a few minutes or even one hour in between your work.

You have to pace yourself and it’s alright to take breaks. Most of us believe that in order to be successful, it requires us to work like machines. But even laptops overheat and need to cool down. What more the human brain. You can’t concentrate if you don’t take time off. A lot of successful people take power naps and that helps them focus on the task at hand.

Free Get Things Done Checklist

Visualize what you want to achieve

If you want to make progress, one of the best ways to do that is to visualize what you want to achieve. Studies show that people who visualize practicing end up being more successful than those who don’t. Visualize everything you want to do during the day, you can start doing this early in the morning and think about it throughout your day. You’d be amazed at how much you’ll achieve if you do this. It will also help with procrastination and concentrating.

What is you main key takeaway from this blog? Comment below, would love to know what you think.

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Vanessa

A Creative Way to Master the Art of Never Giving Up

by vanessa | Apr 17, 2019 | creativity, Entrepreneurs, personal development

A Creative way to master the art of never giving up

Master the art of never giving up and how you can use it to your advantage.

In this social media craze of Influencers, media entrepreneurs and people who seem to have it all, failing is far more crushing than it used to be. When I was in university, a student in the Law Faculty did a speech about Never Giving Up. It was more of a satire where he spoke on a primal level on how giving up is far easier than pushing past the boundaries. I nodded my head at every point he made, people stood on their feet and they clapped. But after the day was gone, we went on with our lives.

It was a great speech, the problem is we have become used to the norms. Every year Hollywood spits out at least three inspirational movies, but how many

people say that movie changed my life. Is it possible for a movie to resonate so well with someone it does change them? Well, it depends on who the person is. I have at least two movies that changed my life for the better and most people do. But movies, flowery statements, inspirational monologues, witty quotes, and motivational videos can only help us so far. It is up to us to be push forward past the societal norms, the crushing fears and the harm failing will do to our ego.

When I was in high school, when one failed, it wasn’t broadcast it to the whole world. There were a few sips of truth, pillows stained with tears and harsh truths that bounced off the walls. That was it. Now when you fail, people see it in full HD and that is the way it is.

Even if we take a step back, failing still hurts because the people closest to you will know the truth. And that stings. I had to repeat a grade and for years I walked around as if I was the biggest failure ever. I was so ashamed I left my previous school and when I met kids from school. They often asked me why I was repeating, I mumbled a few words and disappeared. Distancing myself from that person.

My biggest forcible was I didn’t know how to cope with failing. Even though I was pushing forward, a part of me had given up. What hurt the most was this was the third time I had repeated a grade? This became a hard truth I had to bear. Only time could heal me yet it was taking a long time to do so.

Do something you’re terrified of

To get used to failing you have to fail over and over again. To get used to never giving up, you need to have failed in the first place. There are no loopholes when it comes to experience and what I have learned is you have to get used to failing. Sure, it will hurt and most people will never do it, but believe me, it’s possible. I used to have massive stage fright and every time I went on stage I would start shaking and breaking out in sweats.

When I was in university and that was when I realized I couldn’t allow it to affect my life. So, I went on stage so many times. I could do it because I had failed at it before. I was shocked when I won awards for public singing and singing. If you went back to my time in high school I sucked at both. I was a terrible singer and even worse at public speaking. There’s no such thing as impossible. When you put the effort into something you’ll be shocked by the results.

At first, you’ll suck. And you’ll fail, it can be twice or twenty times, but the next round you’ll succeed. Often, we stop ourselves from accomplishing what we want because we’re terrified to fail.

We are all afraid of something, but when you do something that you are afraid, this will give you the boost of confidence you need. It is scary out there, but when you step forward and go forward then you are beating the odds. The odds are against us especially when you are doing something that is out of your comfort zone and that is why you need to face your fear.

If you are terrified of being on camera, just do it. Face your fear because you if you never do that then fear will get a hold of you and it will be difficult to face

them. When it comes to mastering the art of never giving up, one of the key insights is to face your fears and that will help you grow.

Start Journaling

Write down all your milestones and failures, have a timeline for every one of your failures. None of us like looking back in time and thinking about when we

failed. The only way you’ll grow is by doing this. It will suck in the beginning, but didn’t you feel the same way when you were riding your bike. And you fell and wanted to give up. It was then that your parent told you that you shouldn’t give up because then you’ll always will. So, you got back on and drove the bike. It was the same way when you were a baby, your mother or father calmed you down and you got back up.

The older we get, it’s a lot harder to do that, so you have to remind yourself. When you do that you’ll start noticing that there are times when you didn’t give up.

You then compare your milestones with your failures. The first time I did public speaking I was a fifteen-year-old kid who walked onto a stage, holding a paper. I kept looking at it. I was so bad. I suppose most are at that age, but before I went on stage they were kids who were so much better than me.

It was an embarrassing experience because I ended up dropping the paper and people couldn’t stop laughing. The thing is I don’t regret that experience because it pushed me to do better. And I did. We all have those experiences and they push us to do better. It might not be perfect, but that isn’t the point. The point is doing better than you did before.

If you want to use journaling to achieve more, Forbes did an awesome article on the topic. When it comes to never giving up, journaling will help fuel you to do greater things.

Your failures will be part of your success story

You’ll never know who’ll be. Everyone has had a story of failure before they became successful from street musicians to booed off the stage comedians. The greats have had to fail in order for them to succeed. Successful authors were once starving artists staying at home and eating ramen noodles. Motivational speakers used to suck at it and have stage fright.

Everyone has two stories, one of success and one of failure. No matter whether anyone knows who they are because we all have succeeded at in couple of things. Sure, it might not have been featured on Forbes or even Reader’s Digest, but that is our truth. The reality here is that when you play on a larger stage it is more frightening than being a success story in your household.

Take it from me we have a choice on who we become and what we do with our lives. I have known people who’d touch anything and it turned to gold until it didn’t and they gave up. I also knew people who no one noticed, they’d hide in the shadows, afraid of the world. Those people lift their heads high up where ever they go because they understand failure better than anyone. You decide what you want with your life and where you’ll go.

Maybe, the problem is you allow the past to define you and that is why you give up. Read this blog post so you can master the art of never giving by learning how to not let your past define you.

Stop allowing your past failures from stopping you from achieving all that you want to do in life. Don’t wait on the side lines, just keep going and this will help to never give up. Whatever happens in the next couple of weeks, months or years, it all depends on what decision you make. Whether you allow fear to dedicate what you do or where you go.

Scream! Let it all out

We’re so used to keeping every buried deep within. When we’re frustrated, we bite our lips and push every back. If you want to learn how to never give up, the simple solution is to let everything out. Cry, scream and shout. Wave your arms around like a crazy person, talk to mirror you. Listen to songs or watch movies and let the tears flow. Just stop burying everything.

Failure sucks and there’s no running away from that, but you can embrace it. Accept you failed and don’t try to avoid it. Even if the failure was so loud everyone on Facebook knows. That’s true at all, but it can feel like that. No matter how crushing your failure was it has defined you for the better. The one way to get over it is to go through with. Even document your failure and this will give you peace of calm,

Let go of the pain, the anger, the disappointment and the regret. Just let it go and allow yourself to face your fears and your insecurities. One of the best tricks to never giving up is to let it all out. Don’t keep the frustration in, just let it go and you will feel a whole lot better.

What reasons have you told yourself to stop going for your dreams?

Keep Pushing

Vanessa

What Rejection Teaches You About Yourself?

by vanessa | Apr 10, 2019 | Entrepreneurs, personal development

What Rejection Teaches You

Rejection can teach you more than you realize.

I was nine when I first experienced rejection. It always starts out in our early years, when we feel as if we’re the biggest joke to walk in the room. For some, it is younger than nine and for others, it is when they’re much older and wise. But we all experience rejection and we often forget that it teaches us lessons we can’t learn in a classroom. Our teachers don’t write it down on chalkboards, instead, we’re bombarded with facts, figures, and rules.

Even when they told us how important it was to know geometry, we knew deep down that it wasn’t a life lesson. Experience teaches us that. It shapes, molds and swifts our perspective until we can’t stare in the mirror anymore. We question our looks, intelligence and wonder if we would be better if life stung less.

Then with age, we come to a sense of realization that well life comes with its string of lies. Yes, it does hurt to be rejected, but the truth is it’s unavoidable. As a little girl, I was popular, I knew how to bat my eyes and get what I wanted. Then I went to a new school and everything changed. I was a clown in school. Even though I hated it, my peers laughed with me rather than at me and then I went to a school where I became the butt of every joke.

From being the popular funny kid to being seen as dumb. From then on I walked around feeling the weight of rejection on my shoulders. It’s now that I realize I didn’t understand rejection was there to teach me something. We all go through this. That is the point of life. We all have to take into account the lessons laid out in front of us.

Not Everyone Will Like You

Many of us spend or rather waste years forcing ourselves on people who don’t like us. And when we get rejected it feels as if they stomped on our hearts. The truth is we should’ve just walked away then we wouldn’t have gotten rejected in the first place. It is a hard place to be, knowing that you value someone who doesn’t respect you as much as you respect them.

But our hearts are important and the more rejected we become, the more bitter it makes us. I’ve met a lot of cynical people and the reason they’re like that is that they been rejected far too many times. No everyone is going to like you. Most of us aren’t taught that. Little kids can play with each other. They can fight one moment and then become best friends because there are no walls up.

When rejection slams into you so many times you build walls. And these walls are hard to tear down and when people see you they only see one side of you. I discovered the art of building walls and I believed it was going to protect me. It never did. All I felt was alone and afraid. You need to know when you realize not everyone will like you then it will make you see yourself a lot differently. Not everyone will like you and that is a hard truth you have to learn. I wrote a post about how to deal with rejection a whole lot better, it is called how to rise above the noise.

You learn to be yourself

The irony here is even when you try to be like everyone us you can still be rejected. Rejection doesn’t care whether you’re the shy girl in the back row or the awkward boy who shuffles his feet. It doesn’t care whether you’re an articulate speaker or you dress as if you’re made of money. All it cares about is carrying on with its task and that is what it’s there for. You can never be friends with rejection and a lot of us have no idea how it has so much control over our lives. If we realized that then things would be a lot clearer. We lose so much trying to be like everyone us and not accepting who we are.

Most of us never learn this. It doesn’t matter who you are and what you can do, you’ll still be rejected. There always be something that sneaks up on the surface that makes people comfortable. Your easy smile, bouncy personality, your smooth silky or loud voice. And as much as you try you can’t erase who you are. The unfortunate part is we learn this the hard way. What hurts most are the words are from the past? They bite and tear you apart until all that is splattered on the walls is a less than perfect patch of dust and dirt.

You have to be yourself even if no one understands you. When I was ten I knew a girl, many people considered weird. She still had imaginary best friends, spent her time collecting ants. Most people ignored that girl, brushing her aside and sure she wasn’t winning popularity contests, but even up to this day I’ve never known anyone as brave as her. Despite how people treated her she still smiled at them. Despite being rejected over and over again, she apologetically was herself.

You learn to love yourself

Rejection has so much power over us because we allow it to. We decide what affects us and what doesn’t. We were never taught this in school. Fear, rejection, doubt, insecurities, and hopelessness have power over us because we allow it to. Once you get the light bulb moment and realize that you can impact the way you deal with things everything will change.

Most of us don’t take rejection well. We turn to anything that will take away the pain, help us quench it down until it’s nothing, but a dull ache. To actually combat rejection, you must love yourself. It sounds like common sense, but many of us have forgotten to love ourselves. Love the imperfection, the awkwardness, the flaws and idiosyncrasies we try to hide.

If we embraced everything that we are, rejection wouldn’t be a dagger to the chest. It wouldn’t hurt us as much as it did. The simple solution here is to learn you have to heal. From the abuse, the pain and the crippling fear that grips you when the doors are shut. You need to let go of the pain and start loving yourself. It is only there that rejection won’t have a strong hold on you.

Every Day Power wrote an article about how to love yourself unconditionally.

When was the first time you experienced rejection? How did it make you feel? Comment below

KEEP P USHING

VANESSA

How To Accept Time As A Factor Of Success

by vanessa | Mar 13, 2019 | Entrepreneurs, personal development

How To Accept Time As A Factor To Success

Success requires patience and time

Time is more than a motivator to success, it is undeniably one of the keys to it. We live in a generation of get-rich-scams and newsfeeds of the next social media sensation. Seventeen-year-old kids are photographed in front of their luxury houses and driving expensive cars. It is normal to think that we can become like them.

All it will take are a couple of days spent chiming away on the keyboard, see the money rolling in and the dollar sign appearing on the top of our heads to be made. Frankly, it sounds more like a cartoon than reality. And the reality is a lot darker. No, those stories are either fabricated or they had people helping them to be where they are today.

Most people who are self-made entrepreneurs or millionaires usually have sadder stories, ones that involve eating a lot of cereal in the morning or having sleepless nights trying to get the first dollar or client. And a lot of people are seen posting the same spammy content on social media. The majority of people don’t like to admit it is the life of most entrepreneurs. When I used to hear people say that it takes time to build something, I often scoffed, but it is now that I realize how true that statement is.

The truth is most of us what things like yesterday and it often doesn’t happen like that. We all know that get-rich-scams don’t work, but it doesn’t change the fact that we want to wake up the next day and be successful. It doesn’t change the fact that we want to leave behind our problems because we all believe for an odd reason that rich people don’t have problems. The reason why many of us don’t progress in life is that we don’t consider time as a factor of success.

Time teaches you that good things take time

My father always used to tell me that good things take time and I never believed him, either that or I didn’t want to listen to him. I’d roll my eyes at that statement, the older I have gotten I now understand how true it is. Good things take time. Even self-made entrepreneurs had to go through dark days for them to be where they are. The greats had to go through dozens of obstacles in order for them to get to where they are. They had to walk on burning coals. Be fired. Spend months sleeping in their cars or to be at rock bottom.

Time teaches you that often when things come too quickly, they have strings attached. What I mean by this is sometimes what we think we need to be successful isn’t how we imagined it to be. That’s just a fact. It takes a while to understand this or even to accept it. It took me a long time to realize this because when things didn’t happen the way I wanted it to, I thought that my life wouldn’t improve. That I would always remain in the same place I always have been. Stuck in a rut with no way out or trapped like a mouse in a cage.

When I realized that often you have to be patient enough to keep fighting for what you believe so that you can get to where you want to be. I’m not saying that you won’t achieve success. I’m also not saying you should waste your time because you are waiting for a golden opportunity or that it will take ten years to achieve the level of success you want. Time is relevant to where you want it to be. It depends on where you want to go and what lessons you have to learn along the way.

When you see time as a factor of success then you will understand that good things take time.

Criticism will either push your or destroy you

On your journey to success. you will come across destructive and constructive criticism. Most of us only understand the context when it doesn’t directly affect us. The thing is most criticism is destructive and most people have no idea that what they’re saying won’t help you at all. If you haven’t developed a thick layer then criticism in all shape and form will destroy you.

When I was younger, I had this insatiable dream of becoming an author at fourteen, I had written my fair share of books so I knew it was possible. Unfortunately, I wasn’t ready because I couldn’t take criticism. It took me years to learn more about myself so that I could accept it. Most critics don’t know your story, they have no idea who you are as a person and their opinions aren’t useful. I used to be told that I was awkward and weird. That became part of my identity and it destroyed me. For the longest time, I hid in my shell because of those words. I couldn’t accept that it was their opinion and over the years, whenever anyone would tell me something, it took pieces away from me.

By the time I was willing to fight, it was a long battle to recovery and along the way, I picked up bad habits. I wanted more than anything to forget. Criticism does two things, it will either build you up or tear you are apart. But when you take the time to figure out who you are, dip your toes in the water and evaluate yourself, you will be a lot stronger.

Criticism tends to destroy us but that is because we don’t understand that time is a factor of success therefore we need to gradually improve. A painter doesn’t become Van Gogh overnight, it takes time. Therefore, it will take time for you to get to where you want to go. That is why time is a factor of success because it takes time to go from novice to professional.

You learn to fight for your future

No one can fight for your future, but you. No one can take those first steps, but you. And no one can force you to do be who you don’t want to be. It took me a while to start fighting for my future. It was when I was lying on my bed, close to taking my life that I realized this was no way to live. A lot of us battle invisible demons and we always run away from it. Facing the problem head-on is the only way you can jump the fence or make it to the end of the road. You have to face your demons head-on.

As scary as that is, you’ll constantly be in denial until life takes too much from you. And believe me, there’ll be a time when life tests and demands a lot out of you. You can either let life string you along or you can start building yourself bit by bit. It is natural to get worn by the effort you are making. You either accept the best or decide you aren’t worth anything. Most of us learn that you accept whatever is given to you. You accept the broken relationships, the forced love stories, and the list goes on because that is what you believe you are worth.

You have two choices; to accept what comes your way or to look for something better. When I was younger I was taught that girls should kiss a lot of frogs to find their Prince Charming, but the truth is it isn’t what often happens. Most of us stay with frogs and we accept that. It’s because we choose not to fight for what we want in life. We choose not to go for that promotion because we believe we aren’t worth it. We choose to stay in that negative space, to surround ourselves with people who belittle us because we believe we aren’t worth it. You must fight your battles because if you don’t time will take more from you than you envisioned.

When you focus on time as a factor of success then you will understand that it will push you to fight for your future.

Time teaches you that nothing remains the same

Nothing ever remains the same, no matter how much we want it to. That’s why we have to keep growing. Learning new things so that we’re prepared for whatever change comes our way. Though, that never happens. Change is a hard thing to accept, even those who can adapt to hardship struggle. You have to either let things go or to remain in that moment.

When you understand that nothing remains the same, you understand that success can have its up and down moments. No successful person can continue having a winning streak, they’ll be bad and good moments. Being human means tackling hardships, cherishing the good moments and successes. This kind of discovery takes a while, not as long as you think it does, but you have to understand how important time is.

Without it you can’t grow, achieve the success you want in life. It’s true what they say, people only see 10% of the efforts that you make. 90% is hidden. In the end, it depends on whether you want to push yourself down a road that will bring you more hardships now or be patient with your dreams.

One of the most invaluable things I learned by seeing time as a factor of success is that nothing remains the same. Some times we forget that. That is why it is important you realize this so you don’t miss out on any golden nuggets.

Also Related: 7 Reasons Embracing Change is a Good Thing

What is your main takeaway from this post? Write in the comments section. Would love to know your thoughts on it.

KEEP P USHING

VANESSA

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