Why It’s Urgent That You Find Your Purpose?

by vanessa | Mar 22, 2023 | Entrepreneurs, personal development

Why it’s URGENT THAT YOU FIND YOUR PURPOSE

If you want to stop being lazy, then these five simple ways will help you do just that.

Finding your purpose is so important. It’s so important I would even boldly claim that it’s urgent. Below I list the reasons it’s urgent that you find your purpose.

Yes, you read that right. How many of us are wondering if we are on the right track? If we are in the right profession or even chose the right degree. But now it’s too late because we are stuck with our decisions. This is far from the truth. When I graduated from university, I questioned if I made the right choice. I ignored the whole find your purpose and get a job talk I had heard endless times.

Having money flowing in is important, but if you don’t know what your purpose is, then you will wander around aimlessly trying to figure it out.

Unfortunately there’s no big button we can press to figure it out. Trust me, I tried looking for the button. I couldn’t find it. We need to understand that finding your purpose will give you clarity. Now that you have the snippet, let’s get to the meat. Before you leave, you will understand why it’s urgent to find your purpose.

Clarity

It’s urgent you find your purpose because of clarity. They are so many people who spend countless hours working a job they hate. Some spend hours looking for jobs that they know they will hate. I get it. Cash flow is important. This isn’t 1999. It’s 2023. That means you can do anything and make money from it. If you want a side hustle, you can literally pour over the many side hustle sites out there so you can get cash flow.

Once you get cash flow or at least have it coming in, you can figure out what to do. Clarity is so important because you will understand what steps to take. Clarity has done wonders for me in my business. This is the thing with purpose. Once you hone into it, you it will take you places you never imagined. Without clarity, you spend that time trying to figure out what you are doing wrong.

And it will take you years because you aren’t clear about where you want to go. Let’s say that you are working a 9-5 job that you hate. The hours are lousy and so is the pay. You complain about it constantly, but you do nothing. This won’t help you. There’s a time for complaining and there’s a time for doing. You got to pick yourself up and try again.

Finding your purpose will give you perspective

Fast forward to 2012. I was an aimless kid who didn’t understand what I wanted to do with my life. I was in college, but hated the degree I was doing. It felt as if I was wandering the halls of aimless and dazed. I had to take a gap year between my studies and this made things worse. I missed being in college. Not because I loved it there, but because I didn’t know what my friends or people on social media would think of me.

When I went back to college. Things were different. I was different. A part of me didn’t want to be there anymore or even finish the degree. I eventually graduated and got my first internship at a job I hated. I wondered if I had made the wrong choice. It took me years to find my purpose. To figure out what I wanted to do and eventually I found what I wanted. Finding my purpose gave me perspective. A perspective. That I never thought I needed, and it changed everything. It’s urgent to find your purpose because you stop wasting your time.

What happened to me is I stopped caring what people were doing and just wanted to focus on my purpose. It always made me realize that I had a choice in what I did with my life.

You will become more confident

It’s urgent to find your purpose because you will ultimately become a much more confident version of yourself. I used to struggle with my confidence. I had low self-esteem and self worth. I didn’t understand my place in this world. Then when I found my purpose, that changed. I became much more confident. This changed everything for me. I became bolder and a risk taker. Before I found my purpose, I never thought I would write two nonfiction books, start a YouTube channel and go on podcasts.

I am an introvert. So stepping out of my comfort zone was far too terrifying, but now I realize it is electrifying. I started another blog even though my first blog failed. Why? Because my purpose was far more powerful than my fears. We all have a choice in who we become. Often, our past mistakes prevent us from moving forward. We are always looking behind our shoulder. When you find your purpose, you stop doing this. Not saying that it’s instant, but the more you focus on your purpose, the less you care about your mistakes.

We all have made mistakes. We all have come short. The benefit of finding your purpose is that you cling to this. Your purpose is the reason you went through all the obstacles and challenges. It only made you stronger.

Also Related: 9 Ways to Develop Confidence

Money mindset

The fourth reason finding your purpose is urgent is because of the money mindset. What this basically means is you develop a money mindset. Now, when you have a money mindset, you understand ways to generate money. It seems so out there, but what you used to see as luck, you just see it as an opportunity to grow. You are not afraid to take risks and train yourself to be receptive to money. Okay, I am not talking about manifesting or a get rich scheme. No matter how much you want $50,000 to appear in your bank account doesn’t mean it will.

I will not sell you a get rich scheme. Money mindset is just what happens when you find your purpose but it doesn’t mean you will instantly make money. As kids, we are trained to think that it’s extremely hard to make money. A part of this is true. Nothing worthwhile is easy. However, when you develop a money mindset you see opportunity everywhere. They are seven billion people in the world. Four billion are on the internet.

When you understand what your purpose is, opportunities open. You are more willing to invest in yourself and the training that you might need. You are also willing to sell a course, ebook or coaching program if you believe it will help your audience. You’re willing to put yourself out there.

Also Related: How to Shift Your Money Mindset

Failure doesn’t crush you

It’s urgent you find your purpose because failure won’t crush you. When I was starting out criticism wasn’t my friend. Failure was crushing, but when I found my purpose. I knew that this was what I wanted to do and there was no going back. I knew what I wanted and what I didn’t. That is so important because when failure knocked on my door, I took that as a learning lesson and grew from it.

This is the mindset you will develop when you find your purpose and focus on it. Your purpose is proof that self doubt isn’t as important as helping people with your knowledge or skillset. This is the pivot every successful person learns. They realize that failure is simply the building blocks they need to grow and learn from their experience. This is also how you should see failure. As a way to keep learning and improving. Take every step one at a time. Then you will learn and grow from that.

Also Related: Shift Failure to Something Positive

How will you find your purpose? Comment below

KEEP PUSHING

VANESSA

Hidden Signs of Self-Sabotage: Here’s How You’re Self-Sabotaging Yourself

by vanessa | Feb 15, 2023 | Blog, personal development

Hidden signs of Self-Sabotage: Here’s How You’re you’re self-sabotaging yourself

There are many hidden signs of self-sabotage that we’re doing and we don’t even realize it.

Confession time. I am sometimes a big procrastinator, but I’m learning to curb that and stop. It’s a journey. I have learned that they are hidden signs that I’ve been self-sabotaging myself. Here’s the truth. I have ADHD. Now I have highs then I have really low lows. What I mean by this is I will have all these ideas buzzing in my brain and then my body gets into gear. It’s as if I can’t do anything wrong. All things I have been wanting to do I get it done. Then I have low lows when my brain tells me this is impossible and I become unwilling to switch up gears and make it work. One of the hidden signs of self-sabotage for me is allowing ADHD to control my life.

ADHD doesn’t go away just because I want it to. I need to find ways to make it cooperate. Now that’s a challenge, but we all have challenges. The key here is whether we allow said challenge to make things harder for us. If we do then it will never stop. Challenges don’t come and go like the weather. Let’s say you got fired. They are three ways to look at this. You get angry at how unfair life is, go job-hunting for another job (of course,) or try something new. Even when you get another job, at the back of your mind there’s this fear that you will get canned again.

This is one hidden sign of self-sabotage. You feel as if you already failed before you did. We all have to learn to accept and appreciate challenges for what they are. What are they? Simple. Lessons. I know you have heard this before, but we all need reminders. Challenges are lessons. They are so many people who dropped out of college and ended up becoming inventors and entrepreneurs. They are people who got fired and who got back up and started something new. Heck, they are people who broke up with their partners and got back up.

Below are a few hidden signs you are self-sabotaging yourself.

Self-Fulling Prophecies

What is this? Some mambo jumbo. No. This is science. I love science you can call me a bit of a nerd. Our brains are more powerful than a computer. We can process information so much faster than any computer. Unless you’re dealing with those high-tech processing machines that no normal human being has access to. Okay, you might have met your match if you come across this computer.

Self-fulling prophecies are just your brain processing information and then it sends signals to another part of your brain. Your brain then sends these signals throughout your body and usually when that happens your whole body has gotten the message. This how powerful our brains are/ Every word or string of words is put into an image in our brain. If you are extremely visual then it’s worse for you. This hidden sign of self-sabotage is keeping you from going after your goals. Let me explain. If you tell yourself you can’t do something, you’re creating a new habit.

When you don’t do something, you’re telling your brain and body that it isn’t important. This hidden sign of self-sabotage is why you have been procrastinating.

How you fix it:

A simple way to fix this hidden sign of self-sabotage is by changing the way you phrase things. Instead of saying I don’t have enough time it changes to I have enough time. Do this for everything. Change “I want to start a business but I don’t know how,” to “I want to start a business and I will learn how to.”

Also Read: I Think Therefore, I Am

Procrastinator

As an ADHDer, I can be a big procrastinator. I’m learning not to make it my personality, but that means every day I have to work at it. This hidden sign has been self-sabotaging me for years. Every year I come up with a new way to work through it. I hate uncomfortable things so I tend to push them on the back burner. This certainly isn’t helpful. Many of us do tend to procrastinate maybe not as much as ADHDers, but that doesn’t mean we don’t.

Things that seem too complicated or uncomfortable put us on the edge of our seats. Unless you’re a hard-core adrenaline junkie most of us don’t want to feel that kind of intensity all the time. You know what I mean. Butterflies in your stomach. Wanting to puke or throwing your laptop across the living room floor? Maybe the last bit is an exaggeration, but you get my point. Procrastination is one of the biggest hidden signs of self-sabotage.

How to fix it:

They are two ways to deal with this. Embody a can-do attitude. What this means is instead of believing you can’t do something, start believing that you can. If you can’t learn something then you try. Babies and kids are great examples of this. No kid is born knowing how to do anything, but they try. As adults, we need to start working on this.

The second way is just to do it. Whenever you want to do something just do it. Don’t overthink or analyze. Keep yourself preoccupied with the task at hand. What do you need to do to get it done? Let’s say you want to learn the guitar. Look at the first steps and start from there. Learn about types of guitars. Doing this will make you think about buying one. When you buy one you won’t talk yourself out of it. Get lessons or even purchase a course online. Now that you’re investing time and resources you are now hooked.

These are two ways to deal with this hidden sign of self-sabotage.

You’re overthinking

Raise your hands if you’re an overthinker. That there is me. I overthink everything until it drives me nuts. This usually results in me not doing anything because I talk myself out of it. “I’m ready.” Then bam, another string of words comes in. “Are you sure you can do it today? Aren’t you tired?” Just thinking about being tired makes me feel tired.

This hidden sign of self-sabotage is what gets introverts. Most extroverts tend to go with an I’m going to do something attitude. Being an overthinker and not being one aren’t bad things. Our brains are all different. You just need to know how to work with what you have. This hidden sign of self- sabotage is stopping you from achieving your goals.

How to fix it:

Stop analyzing every single thing. Work with what you have. Let’s say you want to start a YouTube channel, but feel like you don’t have everything. First, do you have a phone? If you do then you have all you need for now. Grab a phone tripod and a ring light. If you can afford it. If not just make sure you film in front of windows for the light. There you go. Often we’re the ones stopping ourselves because we want to have an elaborate setup at step one.

No one has everything in the beginning. They use what they have then they work with that. One thing to remember is finding solutions to dealing with hidden signs of self-sabotage will give you the ammunition you need to have control of your life.

Limiting Beliefs

This hidden sign gets most or all of us at some point in our lives. We’re not immune to its tentacles until we learn. Here’s the thing we all have foibles. Things we loathe and often these are things that you hate about yourself the most. I’m 5 foot two inches. So I’m tiny. For the longest time, I hated this but I have come to appreciate it. Most people see me as unassuming because of my height, but that is my advantage.

Now, this isn’t a flaw, more of a biological factor, but still, my limiting belief was built on my height. Not saying this was my only limiting belief I had many circulating in my brain. They are still there, but I choose to ignore them and focus on what I have. This hidden sign of self-sabotage can make it hard for you to go after your dreams.

This is why you need to learn how to stop allowing this hidden sign of self-sabotage from crippling you. Once you believe something strongly like a plague it will squash everything you hold dear. Your relationships. Professional life. Everything. Your dreams. This hidden sign of self-sabotage can stop you from going after your dreams and achieving your goals.

How to fix it:

Start building life-affirming beliefs. What this is, is you tell yourself positive things about yourself. This will help you focus on the positive rather than the negative. Now once you do that you can move on to quieting the limiting belief voice. The reason why your limiting belief voice is so strong is that you’re giving power to it by listening to it. Stop listening. Then refuse to believe that voice. “No, I’m not stupid.” “No, I’m not drunk and degenerate.”

What starts happening is you are creating new neuro pathways in your brain and that will lead you to start acting on whatever you think. So, when you tell yourself you aren’t stupid, you start getting interested in learning new things.

These are a few ways to help you with the hidden signs of self-sabotage.

Also Read: How to Stop Limiting Yourself, and Move Forward in Your Life

Final notes

Rome wasn’t built in a day. It will take you some time to learn how to implement these. Be gracious and kind to yourself. Don’t allow yourself to be self-sabotaged by these hidden signs anymore. You deserve more. Start believing that. If you fall back to old habits that’s alright. We’re human after all and there are moments when we do stumble. As long as you understand what made you stumble this will help you keep moving. They are way more hidden signs of self-sabotage out there. The key here is learning how to control them so that they don’t control you.

What is your main take away from the blog post and what will you do to stop letting these hidden signs self-sabotage yourself? Comment below.

Keep Pushing

Vanessa

Why You’re Not Following Your Life Purpose

by vanessa | Jun 8, 2022 | Entrepreneurs, motivation, personal development, Success

Why you’re not following your life purpose?

Here are the reasons why you might not be following your life purpose

We all have a life purpose, but most do not know what it is. And that there is the problem. There’s a significant number of people not satisfied with their life. A large proportion that wants more out of life. This group feels like they missed their calling and feels as if they aren’t living their dream lives. The older they get, the more convinced they are that they aren’t living their dreams.

As time goes, this doesn’t magically disappear because of age. In fact, it becomes worse because most people want to live a life they love, but are unsure how to do it. They want to stop living a life that aren’t satisfied with. And that is why I wanted to write this blog post because I truly believe that when we stop trying to please everyone, we will live our lives. When we stop trying to become like someone else, that is when we discover what we are made of. That is why this blog post might be one of the most important articles you will read on life’s purpose. Why? Because when you find out why you’re not following, your life purpose will help you a lot. This will help you understand what you need to focus on. So drumroll please. Let’s go.

You’re directionless

Raise of hands. Who has felt directionless? I’ve been where you are right now. I used to be directionless, and this was a big proponent of why I didn’t go after my life’s purpose. I did not know what I wanted to do. Nor did I know what direction I should go in. When you’re directionless, you’ll spend years struggling to play catch up and this can deflate your self-esteem.

It is important you have a direction. Would you go on a major trip without knowing what route you should take? No. Right. What about presenting a topic without an idea of the topic you will speak about? No. Right. Problem is we are directionless for our life purpose. We imagine a life where we live on our own terms, but we can’t seem to go in the right direction. Pinpoint the direction you want to go in. If you are a photographer, what kind are you? What do you want your life to be like in the next five or ten years? Who is your target audience? Newly wed couples. Young families. Portraits. Nature.

Choose your direction and it will be easier to figure out the next steps you should take.

A weak why

You aren’t following your life purpose because your why sucks. What this means is that your reasons don’t hold water. Have you ever tried using an old sponge when washing dishes? The old sponge doesn’t hold as much water as a new sponge. Why? Because the pores in the sponge have seen better days. Therefore, they can’t hold enough water.

Your why is like this? Let’s say your life’s purpose is to become a real estate agent. Your why is so that you can make money? This won’t work. Because money isn’t a strong enough factor to push you. One day you work hard and the next when you don’t see results, you will give up. Why? Because you aren’t seeing the results that you won’t and your motivator has disappeared. So, let’s change that why to something more fundamental? Your why is to show people substantial properties so that they don’t feel cheated? You want to change the way real estate works.

This is a much stronger why because you aren’t focusing on the destination, but on the journey. Many of us start like this. We focus heavily on his destination. If I make X amount per month, my life will change. What if you don’t make that money? Then what? Focus on the journey rather than the destination.

Also Related: Why Should You Follow Your Purpose?

“A Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step

– Lao Tzu

Focus on the journey rather than the destination

The third reason you’re not following your life purpose is because you are spending way too much of your energy on the destination rather than the journey. That is why the quote above is so important. Every journey in life begins with the first step. Sometimes that is all you need to focus on. Step one. That is it. What do you want to achieve? How do you want to achieve it? Focus on step one. Focus on the baby step. And then you can see the whole thing coming together.

That is the key. Everything comes together. You now see a path that you didn’t see before and you understand what you need to do. Here’s an example. You want to start a blog. Step one. Find what you want to write about. Step two. Research your competitors. What are they writing about? Who is their target audience? Reverse engineer. Find the sweet spot so that you can compete. Then design your blog. Easier said than done. I know that, but this is a simple snippet to understand.

Climbing up a ladder is easier when you take your time climbing each rung. When you try to step on the rung far from your reach, you’ll hurt yourself. That is why you need to focus on the step ahead of you. That is how to get to where you’re going without breaking a sweat. Okay, you’ll break a sweat, but at least you won’t exhaust yourself trying to do too many things all at once.

Fear has gotten you down

The fourth and last reason you’re not following your life’s purpose is fear. It can be a fear of people’s opinions or your own. What if I fail? What if I’m not good enough? What will people say? The list goes on. So, you need to decide. Imagine there are two doors and you need to choose. One is blue, and the other is red. Now, choose the blue door and you’re life will be as simple as it can be. They will be no hurdles or hiccups. You will experience an average and ordinary life because you took no risks.

Did I bore you yet? The red door is full of adventure, hiccups, extraordinary measures and roadblocks. Or did I forget to mention danger? Not the kind that will poison you or get you killed. Still, it will have adventure and heartbreak. You will explore the world, but also put yourself out there. You will find yourself and yet lose part of yourself. Your old self, that is. You walk with more confidence yet squirm when you step out of your comfort zone. Hope I painted a splendid picture.

Here’s the thing: you can only choose one door. So pick wisely. There’s nothing wrong with either choice. It’s up to. But the red door you will grow more and the blue door you won’t change as much. Fear holds us hostage, and it is the reason many of us aren’t following your life’s purpose. How you combat this is by letting of what people say. Heck, let go of what you think and just do it. Take that leap. You won’t regret it.

Also Related: Overcoming Fear of Failure

What are your reasons for not following your life purpose? Comment below.

Keep Pushing

Vanessa

4 Reasons To Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

by vanessa | Jun 1, 2022 | Blog, motivation, personal development

4 REASONS TO STEP OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE

Here are four reasons why you need to step out of your comfort zone

We all have a comfort zone. Most of us don’t even know what it is or that we even do that. Comfort zones are protective, and we enjoy that. They are many reasons you should step out of your comfort zone. Here’s the thing you tell yourself lies so that you don’t step out of your comfort zone. Those lies prevent you from discovering who you can become and what you can do. They also stop you from trying out new things.

Fear is the number one driving force stopping us from stepping out of our comfort zone. When you get used to stepping out of your comfort zone. There’s very little that you won’t be able to do. Not because you’re this insanely talented person. No, that isn’t the reason. It’s because you have chosen each time to step out of your comfort zone.

That there is how you grow. It’s how you step and go after what you want. That is why I wrote this blog post to inspire you and help you out. Below are a few reasons you should step out of your comfort zone.

It will hone your skills

The best way to improve your skills is to keep showing up. A photographer doesn’t improve if no one ever sees their photos. An artist never grows without feedback. Going out there is how you will become better. Is it terrifying? Sure. Though the most successful people have gone through this. You can’t go where you haven’t been. You can’t become who you want to be without stepping out of your comfort zone.

Therefore, show up. Even when there’s no one watching. Show up. Even when you believe no one is looking at you. As hard as it is, showing up will help you improve your skills. When you do this, you will improve at a much faster rate. The often you do this, the easier it gets. It all starts with step one, though. You can’t go down the ladder without trying the other things. You can’t reach the pinnacle of success if you are too afraid to even open the door.

If every one reason doesn’t excite you, then focus on this one. We all want to improve our skills so that we can not only grow but have a career trajectory. So, now that one is done off to the second reason.

It helps you to step up to the plate

I had a teacher who used to say, “cannot prepare, then prepare to fail.” She had a point. Though, what happens when no amount of preparation will make you ready? If you are getting ready for a big examination, it makes sense. Then there are other things that are less routine. Yes, you can prepare, but sometimes over preparation can make it harder to even start.

For example, starting a blog or a business. You can prepare until you are blue in the face. Right. However, if you take no action, then you will never start. If you never do that, then you will go nowhere. That’s the thing. It isn’t easy stepping up to the plate. There are so many obstacles that you will have to do. So many things that you need to do. This is how you get of your comfort zone. It will help you step up to the plate.

Stepping up to the plate depends on the person. For some, it is quitting a job that has no growth and you are too comfortable in it. For others, it is starting something new. What is important to realize is that stepping up to the plate will help you grow at a faster speed than anything else. You will learn so much about yourself that you won’t believe it.

It reduces negative self talk

Many of us are guilty of this. By stepping out of your comfort zone, you reduce the negative self-talk. The negative self-talk is stopping you from going after what you want. So when you step out of your comfort zone, you are choosing to ignore it. That is a good thing and the more you do it, the less vocal that voice is.

Negative self-talk will tell you aren’t good enough. That it is impossible for you to achieve success, but the way you prove it wrong is by doing it, anyway. You prove to yourself that you have what it takes by constantly putting yourself out there. Success is built with dozens of tiny actions, not huge actions. Often, that is all it takes. Small milestones you take daily so that you can achieve what you want in life.

As hard as that may seem, it really isn’t. The more you do it, the easier it becomes. Therefore, step out of your comfort. Maybe you have dozens of dreams and fear is holding you back. Your negative self-talk is holding you back. By going after what you want, then that voice is minimalized. It becomes nothing but noise. Noise that you choose not to pay attention to because you aren’t focusing on that anymore.

You let go expectations

We all have expectations. When you step into your comfort zone, it helps you let go of expectations. What I mean by this is that you stop allowing that harsh critical voice to tell you down because you are doing something few people ever do. This is not only freeing, but it also helps you in other ways. You grow faster and learn more. You also find more opportunities faster.

The I’m not good enough and I can’t do this voice won’t affect you as much as in the past. You’re pushing past barriers and obstacles. When you step out of your comfort zone, it emboldens you because you focus on the journey and not the destination. Not saying it will happen overnight. There’s no such thing as an overnight success despite what people and the media want you to believe. It takes time and the more you do something, the more opportunities come your way.

Stepping out of your comfort zone will never be easy. That’s the point. If it were, then everyone would do it. That’s why you need to focus on the journey and not the destination. Don’t overcompensate but take your time to ease into it. Eventually it will get easier.

KEEP PUSHING

VANESSA

What is your takeaway from the blog and how will you step out of your comfort zone. Comment below

Why Your Belief System Is A Success Factor?

by vanessa | May 25, 2022 | Entrepreneurs, personal development, Success

Why your belief system is a success factor

Find out why your belief system is a success factor.

We all have heard that saying, “you are what you think you are.” Most of us wonder if this is even true. Are we truly what we think we are? It’s been said that the most powerful computer actually isn’t a computer you’ll find at NSA or the pentagon. No. Our brains are the most powerful computer. Whatever we think of can compute in mere seconds. That’s powerful. Your belief system is a success factor. Why? How? Think of it this way. Have negative thoughts ever consumed you? Was your life better because of it or worse off?

Your belief system is a powerful motivational booster, but it can also destroy you. Whether we want to accept it or not, we are a product of our thoughts. I have been there, and I know how powerful our belief system can be. I’ve seen it firsthand how one thought can change someone’s life. Here’s an interesting fact. Did you know we need three to five positive thoughts to combat one negative one? Think about that. Negative thoughts have far more weight than positive ones. Not because it’s true, but because as human beings we are wired to take negativity more seriously. That’s our survival mode. It’s why we pay attention to what’s negative or bad news compared to the positive. Below is why your belief system is a success factor.

Power of thought

My brother gave me this is plaque when I was a little kid. It’s called the “Winners Creed.” Basically, it states that the person who wins the race isn’t necessarily the best runner or the best at what he does. No, the person who wins often is the one who believes that they can. That’s the thing with life. You are what you think you are. When I was younger, I thought I was a talentless hack, and you know what I was right. Because that was my belief system. I held onto it as if it was true and it ultimately became.

Our brains are extremely powerful. Incapable of so much. We can achieve so much. And that is, you need to steer your belief system in the right direction. If you don’t, you will believe in things that won’t help you to become successful. Success is determined by a lot of things. It’s determined by your ability to motivate yourself. It reflects your belief system. Why are successful people confidant? It’s because they believe they can find a solution to their problems. They believe they have what it takes to become successful. Yes, it’s that simple.

Your thoughts have more weight than you think they do. It all comes to what your belief system is and how it will determine your success.

Failure is just a word

Failure is just a word. Yet, we put so much weight on it. As if it is everything. But it really isn’t. Your belief system determines what happens. If you take failure to heart, it will mess you up. You will start thinking that you aren’t equipped to do anything. As someone who struggled with ADHD when I failed, it was like the end of the world. When I made a mess of things, I’d curl into a ball because it always seemed way more important than it was.

It took me time and reflection to realize failure doesn’t determine where I go from here. I do. If I take it with a pinch of salt, then I’ll be fine. If I see it as a motivational booster, I’ll grow from it. Your system of belief will determine how you see failure. Do you see it as a roadblock or something that is holding you back? Everyone successful has failed at something. If they hadn’t, then they wouldn’t be successful. They wouldn’t be who they are today. Here’s an example. When I was younger, a Tom Cruise movie came on. It was one of his first movies and I remember how awful that movie was. I remember little except how I hated it. Afterwards I was like, “Tom Cruise couldn’t act.”

It was a revelation. That one of the best actors couldn’t act when he started. But he never gave up. He kept pushing himself, and now here he was. I’m not a Tom Cruise fan, never been. But I admired Tom’s resilience. Whatever you start, chances are you will suck at it. But that doesn’t mean you will continue to suck at it. See, our belief systems have more power than we think they do.

Reprogram how you see failure

How you see failure will determine so many things, including your belief system. It isn’t as hard as it seems. You just need to stop seeing it as something that is holding you back. See it as an opportunity to grow. The most successful people have all failed time and time again. No one is born knowing how to do something. Wow! Mind blown. That’s what I realized. We are so hard on ourselves for failing at something, yet no one is born knowing how to do something.

Before a baby can walk, it has to roll, then crawl, and finally it stumbles until they can walk and finally run. It’s a slow process. When a baby falls. They cry. But after they have calmed down, they get up and keep going. Imagine if a baby chose not to do this, then they’ll never walk. Remember when you learned how to write or ride a bike? Wasn’t it hard? What about when you learned how to use a pen?

Kids embrace failure because they know that this is just the start of their life. Their belief system is far more powerful than an adult because they see their potential. Start seeing your potential. Where you want to go? Who you want to become? See all that you can achieve if you don’t give. That’s how powerful your belief system is. Lean into that and you will be shocked at where you find yourself.

Embrace change

When you embrace change, it will open doors to places you never imagined. When I was twenty-one, I hated change. Thought it was the end of the world. When I accepted it and embrace it. Things changed. I travelled. I lived in Switzerland and South Africa. It was as if my blinders were finally off and I realized that change is beautiful.

Change opens doors and eyes. It creates opportunity. I’m better because I embrace change. Your belief system helps determine how you see change. If you don’t embrace change, then whenever it happens, it will wreck you. Life is like a river. It flows in one direction. Outside forces can change the course or even can alter the force of the river. Things happen we can’t do anything about. Sure, you have accepted the weather. What about the bigger obstacles like losing your job, a health scare or even death?

What about a change, of course? Or something bigger. Then what? Learn to embrace change because once you do, you’ll be ready. Not saying it will be easy when you come across obstacles. No. Still. You will be prepared. Remember, your belief system determines how you see change. So start seeing it in a positive light.

Never give up

Your belief system will determine whether you give up or you don’t. It’s important to never give up. Sure, they are things that aren’t worth it. Like no point in holding onto a toxic friendship or abusive relationship. Throwing in the towel is a good idea. What about projects you are working on? Or the dreams you envision? What about them? Most of us give in. Not because we are incapable of doing it.

It’s bigger than that. Most of us aren’t sure if it’s worth it or rather we aren’t sure if the hardship will reap huge rewards. So, we give up. Throw in the towel. Choose to move on. When people ask us what happened? We tell them we weren’t successful. No wants to feel like a failure. No one wants to feel as if they haven’t achieved their dreams. Guess what? Giving up won’t comfort you. You will always wonder what if. We’re consumed by the opinions of others over what we want to do with our lives?

People will always have opinions. Whether you choose to do something or don’t. It doesn’t matter. After I published a book, my friend asked me who I thought I was. I wasn’t Danielle Steel. We are no longer friends. I appreciate she said it to me rather than behind my back. I digress. I realize now that when you do something, people don’t understand, they’ll have negative opinions. Not everyone. Make shifts and changes. Never give up. You deserve to go after your dreams. Your belief system will help you understand so much about yourself. It will also determine whether you will be successful.

Also Related: 4 Things to Remember When Giving Up

KEEP PUSHING

VANESSA

What is your key takeaway and how will you start working on your belief system? Comment below

Cultivate Resilience So You Can Defy The Odds

by vanessa | May 11, 2022 | motivation, personal development

CULTIVATE RESILIENCE SO YOU CAN DEFY THE ODDS

Cultivate resilience so that you can defy the odds and achieve your dreams.

What is resilience exactly? We hear it often. It’s cheered on when someone is battling a difficulty or when someone wins at life. Our peers and the people around tell us to be more resilient. It isn’t an unfamiliar word that the dictionary came up with recently. No. Though that doesn’t take away its relevance. In fact, the more problems get thrown at us, the more important this word is.

Simply put, resilience is having the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties. In this life, we will all go through difficulties. That is life. Often, our difficulties might mean that getting up isn’t as easy as we wished it would be. Going after your dreams isn’t easy. Not settling isn’t easy because often the easiest route seems the most satisfying. That, though, is temporary. Cultivating resilience is how you defy the odds and achieve your dreams.

They are people who get knocked down and are up before you can count to three. Okay, you probably will count to three before they get up. I’m sure you get the point. These people seem to never let failure pull them down. Maybe you have admired that and even wondered how to do it as well. In this blog post, I will talk all about how you can cultivate resilience.

A strong why

One of the easiest ways to cultivate resilience so you can defy the odds is having a strong why. This here is the key to many things. Think about. Think of anyone who you admire. What has kept them going even when they get knocked down? We all have struggles. Struggles isn’t something that only the unsuccessful go through. Every successful person has gone through struggles.

What separates them from you isn’t a magic word or an unexplained tour de force. Nope. It isn’t something that we can’t understand. Yes, some people have had help to get to where they are. Looking at you, Kylie Jenner. Still, starting and running a business isn’t easy. Got to give credit where it is due. You need a strong why. A reason to get out of the bed.

Most people don’t have a strong why. Many people come up with a flimsy reason. Making lots of money. That lasts as long as you’re willing to keep grinding in the early morning. Then it’s gone. Faster than you can count. So, making money isn’t a powerful reason. It’s a reason everyone uses, but it rarely works well. And you will become aimless. Point is cultivating resilience is about getting up and when you have a potent reason, it’s easier.

Also Related: Why Should Find Your Purpose

Your defining moment

We all need a defining moment. Something that changes course and helps us to keep going. This is how you defy the odds and cultivate resilience. I remember the moment well. I was in grade school hoping to be something more than what I was. It was career day. Until that point, I did not know what I wanted to do with my life. Sure, I was ten. I was still very young, but I had no clue. Not a smidge. I changed dreams according to what was trending. Yeah, I was that kid.

There was nothing I could hold on to. I wasn’t gifted or sporty. It was as if I was just there. Now I know that was the pressure society pushed on young children. When it was my time, I did not know. What I knew, I wanted to make a difference. I wanted to live an extraordinary life. Something worthy beyond measure. Ordinary actions don’t equate to an extraordinary life.

Thing is we have several defining moments in life. That was maybe my second. My first was when I was eight. I digress. These defining moments set you up for life. They change your course. It helps you cultivate resilience. So, at ten, I had my second defining moment. I went onto have different ones at different points in time. Though, whenever life beats me down, I remember the ten-year-old me. The one who didn’t believe in giving in, despite the frantic sprays of the children in the sandbox. I kept going and you should as well.

Remember your defining moment as the time when things shifted for you. This will help you cultivate the resilience you need.

Your inner voice

We all have two inner voices. The critic and the cheerleader. The critic admonishes you for mere mistakes. Whereas the cheerleader tells you to keep going. Many of us listen to the critic’s voice more. That is why it’s always the loudest. “You aren’t good enough.” It tells you. “What makes you think you are anything or worth anything?” Yeah, the critic’s voice sucks and often you wish you could mute it.

Well, you can. It requires training. Not hectic. Sweat on your brows and panting loudly type of training. You just have to train your voice. The voice that tells you can, but is so low you have to increase the volume. We all have the potential for greatness. I know how cliché that sounds. How many gurus tell you that? How many say that you can achieve X, Y and Z. Yet, they don’t give you the tools?

I was highly critical of myself. I used to be a negative person. The one you want to avoid. Sure, I had my moments, though that didn’t take away my critical inner voice. So, when I’m telling you can change, you can. This is how to change the tone of your voice. Keep telling yourself you can do it. When your critic tells you otherwise, remind it of your successes. It can be small. It doesn’t matter. What matters is to stop giving your inner critic relevance. That is how you defy the odds and achieve your dreams.

Also Related: How to Silence Your Inner Critic

Baby steps

Ancient Rome grew from a small town on Italy’s Tiber River into an empire. That took years. Hundreds of years. It didn’t happen overnight. So, you got to be easy on yourself. Cultivating resilience isn’t going to happen overnight. It takes months or even years for you to achieve this. The key here is to keep building on it. To keep focusing on what you can achieve and go after it. You got this.

For me, it took constantly having to reinforce it. Sure, that was annoying, but now it’s worth it. There are a lot of reasons for cultivating resilience. One of the most vital ones is you don’t give up as easily. You keep going after your dreams. That is so important. Because when you don’t give up, there’s a reward at the end of the rainbow. Something you always envisioned, but never believed it was possible to achieve. There’s so much worth and joy in going after your dreams. You can also inspire so many people with your story.

How will you cultivate resilience so you can defy the odds. Comment below and I will reply as soon as possible

KEEP PUSHING

VANESSA