Shift Failure into Something Positive

by vanessa | Jun 30, 2021 | Entrepreneurs, motivation, personal development, Success

shift failure into something positive

This is how you shift failure into something positive

For failure there are two types of people. Those who handle it well and those who don’t. Many of us fall into the latter camp. Failure sucks. Working on something and it not working the way you want, stings. Pushing yourself and coming up with undesirable results can make you feel like a failure. It can push you into the corner and can cause everything to spiral out of control/

Very few people look at failure as a bridge to success. But it is. That’s why it’s important to shift failure into something positive. Why? Because if you don’t, that’s when fear settles in. Once that happens, it’s hard to push yourself back up. It’s difficult to face your fears because of the fear of failure or rejection. One thing I never thought would happen once I started my business was looking forward to failure. Who even does that? It’s crazy to imagine what life would be like. I’ve failed more times than I can count. I have had to work at something many times until I got it right. Learned new skills and sucked at those.

Something happened along the way. I sucked less. I improved. It pushed me and I became better. Therefore, this blog post will change your life. Well, because it will teach you to shift failure into something positive. That isn’t easy. But nothing is. One thing people will tell you is that you’ll never be successful if you don’t do A or B or C. You’ll never make it unless you do this. I’m here to tell you that shifting your perspective will change the way you look at life and the world.

Failure is the beginning and not the end

Stay with me. When you fail, it’s the beginning. It’s not the end. Remember, you got to shift failure into something positive. It starts with this. When you fail, pick yourself up. You tweak things up and move forward. Every successful person has failed in the beginning. The star tup companies that failed to garner traction. Blog posts or YouTube videos with no views. The marathon you lost. The promotion you didn’t get.

The mistakes you have made along the way. Many people give up when they don’t achieve what they want. They see it as the end of the road. X didn’t happen so I’m not good enough. They are seven billion people on the planet. More than half of that is on the internet. They are millions of blogs, YouTube channels and podcasts. Competition is stiff.

This isn’t to discourage you, but to encourage you. Did you know every day a blog, YouTube channel and podcast are launched? Yes. Every day. Did you know that most quit within three months? So. If you keep going, you’ll find the momentum and will make it. But if you can’t, you’ll give up.

Failure teaches you invaluable lessons

Every successful person has a story of triumph over their failures. That makes them human. It resonates with us. Our thoughts connect. “If they have failed, then I can do this,” that’s what we think. And many of them say I struggled so I know you can do this. We look up to them because of this. And we connect with them more.

Failure teaches you can get up. Once the storm has gone, then you can make it out of it. Shift failure into something positive. Name anyone you follow who has failed. Success isn’t defined by victory, but by failure turned into triumph. Once you overcome your failures, you can teach someone how to overcome it as well. Look at Amazon books, courses, blog posts and podcasts. Many of them describe how to overcome x or beat y. Yes, they talk about how to achieve Z. But many of them strive to make you overcome something in your life. Our failure teaches us invaluable lessons.

Give up control

Certain things are out of our control. The weather, for example. We accept that. We’re even prepared for it. What about the other stuff? You can’t control what people think about you. You can’t control failure or not making mistakes. None of us were born with a guidebook on how to beat the odds. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect. And that’s true. A beginner piano player doesn’t become a virtuoso overnight. A new entrepreneur who launches his company doesn’t become a millionaire in a month.

You don’t have control when you make it. You don’t have control over what mistakes you make and when you make them. Give up the idea you have control. As hard as it is. That’s the blessing in the journey. You learn and grow. You develop. This will change the way you look at yourself and life. Keep shifting failure into something positive. In the beginning it will be hard, but it won’t always be that way. Everything changes. It doesn’t remain the same.

Look at what’s in your control. The dedication you have. How much time you spend building your skills. Your productivity. How much money you invest? Your mindset. When you focus on what you can control, it takes away the pressure.

Keep going

This is one way to shift failure into something positive. You learn how to never give up. When you fail and get over the heartbreak, it strengthens you. Successful people aren’t stronger than all of us. They become it. Failure teaches them how to do it. It isn’t easy. To fail and to keep failing. It hearts. But that’s the joy of failure. Knowing that regardless of how many times you fail, that you will be successful at it.

I wrote a book in 2017 and published it. I failed. It didn’t get any traction. My goal of becoming a New York Times Best-Selling author obliterated. But I survived. Was it hard? Sure. It hurt. Yes. But every day it hurt less and less until it became a blip on a radar. No more did it feel as if it was this big thing? And here’s the thing, I failed because I didn’t do the things I hoped to achieve. And that’s why I’m telling it’s okay. Keep going. Keep moving.

Look back. Not with regret, but with a smile on your face. Failure didn’t destroy you. It didn’t crush your soul. You survived. You didn’t curl into a ball like how movies depict. No. You are a survivor. So, if survived then it isn’t as bad as you thought it would. Putting yourself out there. Is hard. That’s true, but it doesn’t have to be. It doesn’t have to be brutal or scary. Remember that you can do this, you just have to remember that you got this. One thing failure taught me is that it doesn’t have a hold on you unless you allow it to. Don’t wallow in the mistakes you’ve made. Because even when you learn from them, you will make new mistakes. And you will keep on making mistakes. That doesn’t stop. Human error exists because we are flawed. Did you know even with the many edits’ books go through; many still will have errors? Most books have at least five editors, then they will have a proof-reader. Yet, they will still be mistakes. The same can be said with movies. There’s no such thing as a perfect film. Yes, they are movies that are great, almost perfect.

You aren’t alone. Shift failure into something positive. Don’t expect perfection. Go for excellence instead.

How will you shift failure into something positive. Let me known in the comments section.

KEEP P USHING

VANESSA

Life Lessons I Learned in 2020

by vanessa | Apr 28, 2021 | Entrepreneurs, motivation, personal development

life lessons I learned in 2020

These are 10 ways you can improve your life in less than 30 minutes.

Where were you when the world changed? Do you remember how it felt? They have been many events in history that have shaped the course of our lives. Those events could have been on a larger or shorter scale. When everything shifts and your perception changes. Those moments move us in a direction we never thought would ever happen. There are a few life lessons I learned in 2020.

However, few moments in history can change the course on a global scale. In 2020, a different tune was sung. As a virus spread throughout the globe and the world went into lockdown, the world was still. We watched as the world we loved came to a halt. Shops closed. Travel stopped. Companies closed down. And home-schooling became a critical point in our lives. We all learned invaluable lessons in 2020. Many of us have carried those teachings with us. Our world changed. How could we forget how it changed our lives? We couldn’t. For months, we watched our four walls, praying for answers, and now we’re in 2021.

It’s a new year and so much has changed. In this blog, I will discuss what life lessons I learned last year. As we go into the second quarter of the year, carry these life lessons with you. It will help you move forward a lot quicker in 2021. Not only that, but you understand that often the lessons we learn pivot us to greater heights.

No guarantees

Many of us take advantage of the time we have. The experiences that have formed us. We never take these things into consideration. Every experience has shaped you into who you are today. Why not take advantage of that? Tomorrow isn’t a guarantee as much as we think it will be. We need to stop living as if we have all the time in the world. All your dreams can come to a crashing halt. 2020 happened, and it changed things for me. I realized that life is precious. Any second or moment can slip away. Why not go after what you want today? Why not start a business today?

This life lesson I learned made me realize tomorrow isn’t a guarantee, but today is. Take full advantage of what you have and make the best out of it. Follow your dreams and your heart wherever it takes you.

Invest in yourself

Invest in yourself. This is one of the life lessons I learned in 2020. If you didn’t do this, then you need to learn how to. In the beginning, investing in yourself won’t be easy. In time it will get easier. One thing you should realize is that you matter. What you do matters. If you want to improve yourself, then you should invest.

What are your dreams? The things you wanted to achieve in 2020. Pick up a few books. Buy a course. Learn a new skill. Travel when it becomes safer to do so. Invest in yourself. Why? Because you matter, and if you want to have a good life, invest in yourself. This will push the needle forward.

Also Related: How to Invest in Yourself

Have hobbies

Many of us see hobbies as stupid activities. Life can get hard. If that’s the case, then you need your dopamine levels increased. By doing that, your stress will be reduced. This is a great life lesson I had in 2020. Have four hobbies. One that enriches your life, or that makes you money. One that can exercise your creativity and imagination. Hobbies that can keep you moving and hobbies that help you engage in learning.

There are many benefits to hobbies. It is great for your mental wellbeing and can help bring a sense of satisfaction to your life. People who have hobbies are happier than those who don’t. People who have hobbies are also more successful than those that don’t. Why? Because having hobbies can give you a sense of purpose and relief. It can help you understand life and yourself better. Once you do that, you’ll be in a better place than most people.

Pursue your goals

We all have dreams, but many of us don’t go after what we want. One of the best life lessons I learned in 2020 is it matters to go after your dreams. Dreams fuel you and give you a purpose. Life is precious. There are 365 days in a year. 12 months in a year. 48 weeks. Go after what you want and you do that. There’s enough time to discover what you want to do.

You can’t guarantee anything. If that’s the case, then why not put both feet forward? Pursue your goals and dreams. Go wherever they take you. One thing that I’ve realized is that if you don’t go after what you want, you’ll regret it. Life lessons make us wiser. They’re supposed to guide us, so we make better decisions.

Face your fears and do it anyway

We all have fears. Many of us learned this life lesson in 2020. We had to face our fears as the world came to a standstill and everything we thought we knew stopped. Everything that we thought we understood became a mystery. Numerous questions were asked. When would the world become normal? What would happen a month or three months from now? Would we live to see Christmas?

Then everything became normal. Quarantine was no longer strange. Still, we held onto the fear. You might know this quote well, “feel fear and do it anyway.” Fear is something that can’t be controlled. You will be afraid of a lot of things. That doesn’t matter. Why? Because it’s normal. There’ll be things you will be afraid of and if you let it affect you it won’t stop. There’ll always be things you will be afraid. Feel the fear and do it anyway. Let that be your mantra for life and allow it to sink in. Alter the way you look at life. This life lesson is important because it will push you. Allow it to.

Also Related: How to be Fearless by Doing it Anyway

Cherish your relationships

We all have fears. Many of us learned this life lesson in 2020. We had to face our fears as the world came to a standstill and everything we thought we knew stopped. Everything that we thought we understood became a mystery. Many questions were asked. When would the world become normal? What would happen a month or three months from now? Would we live to see Christmas?

Then everything became normal. Quarantine was no longer strange. Still, we held onto the fear. You might know this well, “feel fear and do it, anyway.” Fear is something that can’t be controlled. You will be afraid of a lot of things. That doesn’t matter. Why? Because it’s normal. There’ll be things you will be afraid of and if you let it affect you, it won’t stop. There’ll always be things you will be afraid of. Feel the fear and do it, anyway. Let that be your mantra for life and allow it to sink in. Alter the way you look at life. This life lesson is important because it will push you. Allow it to.

Have numerous side-hustles

Side-hustles will help elevate you. There are many side-hustle ideas. Why struggle to pay your bills? Most entrepreneurs or successful people have many side-hustles. This isn’t part of their principal business. If you are looking at becoming an entrepreneur, you can start a side-hustle. With time, then grow it into a fully fledged company. This is one of the life lessons I learned in 2020.

Not everything has to be clear in the beginning. Sometimes it takes time for things to concretize. What you must do is start small then grow your brand or company, What counts is your idea. There are so many things you can do with that.

Also Related: Quick Side-Hustle Ideas to Start at Home

Take care of yourself

I remember someone once said to me that self-worth and health once gone are hard to get back. This is so true. Did you know it takes much more effort to combat the negative words you tell yourself? It takes five positive affirmations to change one negative belief. That’s how much power negativity has.

This is one of the best life lessons I learned in 2020. Take care of yourself. Your self-worth and your health. Once your health is affected, getting back on track will be challenging. Many of us never consider this. We take advantage of this, but once it’s gone, it will difficult getting back what you lost. So many people lost a lot of things in 2020. Everything we have we need to appreciate because when it’s gone it will be hard to accept.

Count your blessings

You are blessed. We live in an incredible time. Yes, there are problems. But every time had its own problems. Think of any time and you will realize it came with opportunities, but also disadvantages. Count your blessings. Every day is a blessing. The people in your life are blessings. The fact you can go after your dreams is a blessing. Cherish the moment and appreciate that you can go after what you want.

Even if life is hard, look at your blessings. Why? Gratitude will make you realize that they’re so many things in your life you should appreciate. It will also help you see opportunities. If you focus on the negative, that’s all you will see. If you focus on the negatives, you will complain about what you don’t have. This is a life lesson I learned in 2020. One that many of us need to learn. The reason people complain is that they focus on the problems. If you appreciate your life, this will push you to find solutions to your problems. There’s always an answer.

Enjoy the journey

Enjoy the journey. Life is a process. A road that we travel on with many routes and you will wander on the wrong route. That might take you on a journey you never wanted. That makes life exciting. We all take routes that we never thought we would take, but something happens. A powerful discovery. We meet people we never thought we ever would meet. We see the world from a new perspective. From the time I was ten, my favorite saying is that everything happens for a reason.

That’s true. Everything happens for a reason. There’s a reason you went down that road. Maybe you don’t know the answers now, but you will. What you need to understand is that enjoying the journey will impart wisdom. You will discover things about yourself that you never thought possible. It all starts with one road. One route. Enjoy discovering what makes you happy and your purpose. This is a life lesson we all need to learn. Enjoy the process.

What is your main takeaway from this and what life lessons affected you the most. Please comment below.

Keep Pushing

Vanessa

The Truth About Becoming Comfortable With The Uncomfortable

by vanessa | Mar 31, 2021 | motivation, personal development

the truth about becoming comfortable with the uncomfortable

Here are a few ways you can become comfortable with the uncomfortable

We all love our comfort. The safe zones that protect us from stepping too far in the outer zones. That’s why we call it the comfort zone. It offers us protection. It gives us an extra layer of safeguards that keep us from getting rejected or failing. Many of us prefer comfort over the uncomfortable.

Here’s the problem, if you want to become anybody you have to get used to becoming uncomfortable. You want to start a company get used to becoming uncomfortable. Being comfortable stops us from going after what we want. Why? Because we’re used to certainty. Used to set up and the obstacles we have to face. We’re used to relying on pillars. What happens if we take that away? What happens if you are starting from scratch? It’s uncomfortable, right?

More than that it feels as if you have nothing to protect you. You have to face things by yourself and that isn’t easy. But it is possible because we all have to start from scratch. We all have to climb the first step to get to the top. That’s life. You can’t escape that. You have to embrace it. As painful as the realization is becoming everything starts with the first step. It also starts with becoming comfortable with the uncomfortable.

Start

“If you never start, you never will,” a friend said that to me when I was thinking of starting my business.

“I have no idea where to start from.”

“That’s the point, isn’t it? Starting is scary, but it needs to be done. You can’t allow fear to stop you from going after what you want.”

So, I listened to her advice and I did just that. I started. The hardest thing to do is start something especially if you no idea what you are doing. It’s uncomfortable. But this is a start we all need in the beginning. In the beginning, it will be uncomfortable. You have to unlearn certain things and figure out what steps you should take next.

I had to unlearn that I didn’t need a business degree to start a business. I didn’t need to have it all figured all out and I had to become comfortable with being uncomfortable. When people would ask me questions I had to find the answers for myself. But my friend was right, if I never started I never would.

Your life begins today. So, often we push what we want to the back of our mind. Whether it’s procrastination or fear, time slips by and it gets harder to start. Go for what you want today because time has a way of making us forget.

Don’t dare quit

Don’t quit. Our default is to quit when it gets hard. Life is a beautiful mess with obstacles. It is so easy to quit and throw in the towel. But quitting will become easier if you choose to allow yourself to quit. One of the most uncomfortable things I had to do was wake up early. It sounds easy. But I’m a heavy sleeper.

If I had chosen to quit I would never have broken through. For weeks, I had to figure what would work for me. Nothing seemed to work the way I wanted it. Not the five alarms I set or my nighttime routine. I had to change it. In time, I figured it out. We all have excuses for why we quit. It’s too hard. I’ve no idea where to start from. I don’t have money. But you can’t give up because once you do that will become part of your life. It will become your default. When life gets hard you’ll quit. Every decision you make, there’ll be an easier option.

You’ll never go far if you always quit when it gets hard.

“It’s too hard. Nothing seems to work out the way I want it to,” I’d complain to my father.

“Nothing worthwhile is easy.”

He had a point. I took what he said to heart, if it was easy then I’d never go far so I had to learn that the challenges make it worthwhile. Keep moving forward and you will realize that challenges make life worthwhile. Becoming comfortable with the uncomfortable makes the journey so satisfying. It might not feel like that at the moment, but you will realize that if you never started you would have never learned what you do know now.

Relish in your suck factor

When you start anything new you will suck. No way you can run from that, but that doesn’t mean it will always be like that. There will be times when you don’t suck. You will have your ups and downs. It will be uncomfortable at first. That’s why you have to embrace becoming comfortable with the uncomfortable.

The one thing you have to do is appreciate sucking. When I first started blogging I sucked. That isn’t news, everyone goes through that. At first, they suck. Think of anyone who was ever great. Picasso. Einstein. Richard Branson. Madonna. The list goes on. They all have one thing in common, they sucked at something. It could have been marketing, personal branding, or even what they are known for. Maybe, their suck factor is different from ours, but the emotion is still the same. They could have felt they weren’t as good enough as they wanted to be.

What matters is they changed their perspective and embraced what made them. They embraced becoming comfortable with the uncomfortable. That changed their whole lives. They were no longer playing defensive, but offensive and it cultivated an inner strength that they didn’t have before.

If you want to be great then you must do what they do. Relish in your suck factor. It’s okay to not be as good as you want to be. You can improve on that. Those who refuse to relish in their suck factor will forever remain stuck. Not because of a lack of potential, but because you can’t improve if you believe there’s no room for improvement.

Find your community

Okay, so this took some time for people to figure out. There are seven billion people in the world. A lot of people won’t agree with your viewpoint, but they will be people who do. It’s all about finding your group of people. This will take some getting used to. The whole point of becoming comfortable with the uncomfortable is you got to change the way you do certain things.

For example, you got to venture out of your bubble. Join groups whether that’s Facebook or conversations on Clubhouse. This won’t be easy because you are used to dealing with your friend group. It doesn’t mean you should let go of your friends, but you need to prop yourself up. People who will believe and push you to do what you want. You can’t change your life if you aren’t surrounded by people who motivate you.

Will all this be hard? Yes. At first, it will be difficult. But that’s the beauty of life, beauty can be found in moments of absolute pain and the uncomfortable.

Celebrate your small milestones

For me, this was hard to get my mind around. Every milestone you make should be celebrated. Take the opportunity to embrace becoming comfortable with the uncomfortable. Yes, for many of us this is uncomfortable. Celebrating the small milestones. My English lecturer once told me that any achievement is a sign of success. Didn’t understand that. Now, I do. Celebrate waking up 30 minutes earlier. Celebrate saying yes to yourself.

You should celebrate standing up for your beliefs. When you choose to celebrate every small milestone, you are opening yourself to opportunities and becoming comfortable with the uncomfortable. It might take time for you to incorporate this into your daily life. But once you do, you will discover you’re happier and achieve more at a faster rate. Why because when you notice your improvements this motivates you. You can’t see your progress if you choose not to celebrate your small milestones.

Push yourself further

Are you uncomfortable yet?

If not then you need to find ways to become uncomfortable. Crazy. I know. We all need to be reminded that becoming comfortable with the uncomfortable will help us to grow. You can’t grow if you don’t push yourself to be uncomfortable. Maybe, that’s appearing on camera or working on your Instagram game, or learning a new skill.

Keep pushing yourself and you will find a rhythm. This will help you to progress fast. It will be hard, I get that, but you must always push yourself. You need to confront what fears you have. When you do that you will excel. Keep reminding yourself whether something makes you uncomfortable. Choose to push yourself further. I’ve had to learn that often we need to not cling to what is known, but push ourselves further. Many will look at this as stepping out of your comfort zone. That’s what it is. You have to step out of your comfort zone. Embrace the unknown. It’s not as scary as you think it is.

Also Related: 6 Brilliant Ways to Master Self-Sabotage

Rinse. Repeat

One thing you need to do to keep progressing is to rinse and repeat. Keep working on becoming comfortable with the uncomfortable. This is going to work in your favor. Successful people are constantly working on themselves. You need to do the exact thing. Work on yourself. So, here’s what you got to do. Start working on yourself or a project. Don’t quit when it gets hard. It is a guarantee that it will get tedious, but don’t allow it to. If you have to relish sucking at first. That is normal and will help you improve. No one starts being good at something. The first time you do something, it won’t be easy or you won’t be as good as you can be.

The next step is to find your community that will motivate you. Push yourself further so that you can achieve more. Then you rinse and do it all over again. This is how you can become comfortable with the uncomfortable.

What is your main takeaway from this and how will you become comfortable with the uncomfortable? Please comment below.

Keep Pushing

Vanessa

6 Brilliant Ways to Master Self-Sabotage

by vanessa | Feb 10, 2021 | personal development

6 BRILLIANT wayS TO MASTER SELF-SABOTAGE

Here are six brilliant ways you can master self-sabotage

Last year was one hell of a year. A lot of things happened. Most of it wasn’t good and yes, you had reasons for the bumpy ride. But This year should be different. We should move forward and not backward, but can we do that? How can we move past certain barriers that can keep us, prisoners? This is a good question. One that might not be as easy as it may seem.

First, let’s address the meaning behind self-sabotage. These are behaviors or thought patterns that prevent you from doing what you want. Many of us can sabotage ourselves. No one is exempt from it, and especially if you don’t know you do it. That is why this article is one of the best ones you will read because it will show you how to master self-sabotage. If you want this year to be better than last year, there are things you need to do. It won’t be that easy, but it’s important to push yourself to change your behaviors. Just like a child who has to learn to do something, you will need to master self-sabotage.

The question is why is mastering self-sabotage important. If 2020 taught us anything, it is that life is short. A blip on the grander scheme of things, and if you don’t push yourself, then you’ll always wonder why. And if you never go for what you want or learn how to do that regret will follow you around. No one wants that. No one wants to live a life of regret or to feel as indecision has prevented them from going for what they truly want. Therefore, in this post, you will read about the six ways you can master self-sabotage.

Don’t go down the comparison pit

Many of us do this. We almost believe that if we go down into the comparison pit, we will find something. But like Alice, what we find on the other side isn’t what we thought we would find. That’s the thing about comparison: it takes a lot out of you. With the rise of social media, it has become easier to compare ourselves to others. Comparing yourself is pointless because there are things we don’t take into consideration.

Let’s look at how people compare those on social media. They look at their success and compare it to themselves. How does it look? How many followers do they have? What does their life look like? That’s fine, but let’s be honest, for a second would you compare a Toyota to a Land Rover. Of course not because the cars are made differently, and their purpose is also different. I know little about cars, but if I had little money to spare, I would buy a Toyota. And if I had more money, I would buy a Land Rover. The more experienced person would make more money. Because once you learn from your mistakes, you know which direction to move in.

The best way to master self-sabotage is to stop comparing yourself. Our experiences are unique, so why compare. Our journey is unique, so why do you compare yourself. The purpose of our account is different, and therefore we should stop comparing. Once you go down the comparison pit, climbing out will be a challenge, so don’t dare do that to yourself.

Also Related: How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Perfection isn’t an option

Okay, I am guilty of this. I can be a perfectionist, but this does no one any good. Another way to master self-sabotage is for you to realize perfection isn’t an option. Many of us want to make everything perfect, including the situation, and that’s why we achieve nothing.

Time runs away from us expecting everything to be perfect. If everyone did this, then they wouldn’t be Amazon, eBay, Apple, or Netflix. None of these waited for perfection. Because perfection doesn’t exist. Even if you want it to, there’s no such thing. And to push the needle forward, you got to realize that and accept it. Except that perfect isn’t an option. When I was younger, I kept waiting for the perfect timing.

I thought if I was patient enough it would come to me. I would have the perfect scenario for starting a business, and ironically it happened. The perfect timing, but it didn’t last. It was short-lived. It was then that I realized how much time I wasted waiting for the perfect timing. Hoping like a lightning rod, I would find it. Find that thing I desperately thought I needed.

Remember, there’s no such thing as perfect timing and this includes situations. Grab life by the horns to make it what you want it to be. You believe that by pushing yourself, things will work out. Once you push yourself, you won’t have to wait for the perfect timing. Instead, you will make the best out of every situation. This is one way you can master self-sabotage.

Let go of the past

The reason many of us struggle with mastering self-sabotage is not being able to let go of the past. When I was a kid, I struggled with school. The traumatic experience of consistently failing and feeling as if I wouldn’t make it made it hard for me to do anything. The past would always remind me of my failure and when I did a project, everything would rush back at me.

I would scold myself and tell myself that this was simply fate. If I couldn’t pass seventh grade, then how could I possibly succeed in life? I had to learn that the past doesn’t dictate who I am or where I go. Only I can do that. One of the hardest things I had to do was let go of the past. This is one way you can master self-sabotage by letting go of your past. The past guides you or helps you make better decisions. The lessons you learned will make you better, but if you refuse to move past the trauma, it will push you back.

It will stop you from going after what you want. If I didn’t, let go of the past, I would have refused to do a lot of things. I would have given up. Choosing that it is better to give up than going forward.

Also Related: 7 Things Holding You Back in Life

Accept constructive criticism

Most people don’t like criticism, and that is because we weren’t taught how to accept it. Often we see it as being scolded as a teacher would do. But that isn’t the case, and many of us don’t know the difference between constructive or destructive criticism. Constructive criticism shows you how you can improve in a particular area. Whereas destructive criticism gives the perception that you can’t grow or improve.

One builds you up while one destroys you. You need to learn to filter out any noise that you perceive as destructive. If someone points out what you did wrong, but doesn’t give you an insight into what you can do to improve, then that’s destructive criticism. Another way to master self-sabotage is to accept constructive criticism. Don’t see it as a sign you have failed. In high school, I attempted public speaking, and I failed at it. But because of what I was told, I could use that to improve. When I was in college, I won a trophy for public speaking.

Constructive criticism will push the needle forward and help you grow so much faster. But you have to accept it and learn from your mistakes. This way you learn much quicker. Always remind yourself that mistakes are part of the process. Those mistakes will help you grow so much faster.

Don’t let the house of cards collapse

I had to learn how to wake up early, and that wasn’t easy. I understood that waking up would help me be more productive, but they would be days when this wouldn’t happen. What normally happened because of this is I would get frustrated. It led me to have a bad day. The reason I would have a bad day was because of one moment that didn’t work out how I wanted it to.

Being hard on yourself is a sign of self-sabotage. Why? Because you are allowing one imperfect moment to let you slip into a dark place. This wasn’t a big issue, but I made it into one. I wanted to accomplish goals and because I didn’t wake up when I wanted; I refused to work on my dreams. It was as if me waking up at the wrong time was a sign the day would end on a sour note.

If you want to master self-sabotage, you got to learn to not let the house of cards fall. Don’t allow one moment to prevent you from going after what you want. You can’t allow imperfect timing or unplanned situations that wreck your mood to stop you from having a great day. This does the opposite of helping you.

Plan your day

This one I had to learn the hard way. I used to watch influencers talk about how they planned their days and I would huff. “I don’t have to do that,” I would say. There’s a reason planning your day, week, month and year are so important. It takes away the stress and frustration from figuring it out. This is the last way you can master self-sabotage.

My life is so much better and easier to manage now that I can plan my days and months. I now plan my blog posts, videos, content, and products I want to sell. Each goal has a deadline and I can work towards that. And I won’t get bogged down with information overload. Planning your day is so important for several reasons, but it will reduce the pressure. You won’t feel as if you are swimming in a pool of unrealized ideas or struggle to keep up with deadlines.

There’s a reason the most productive people use scheduling apps or any other productivity app. The most productive companies use these as well. It’s cumbersome to find the right one that works for you. You can check out the one I use below.

Free Scheduling App

How has self-sabotage impacted your life and how will you master it? Comment below

KEEP PUSHING

VANESSA

5 Simple Questions To Find Your Life Purpose

by vanessa | Feb 3, 2021 | motivation, personal development

5 simple questions to find your life purpose?

Find out your life purpose by asking these simple 5 questions

The first month of the new year is over. It went slower than you might have expected, but with that you might wonder about starting a new business. The beauty in starting is that you can change your mind easily. The question, though, is how do you find your purpose? For many of us our purposes slapped us in the face as children, for others it was a gentle nudge. A breeze that spoke volumes to their personality.

Whatever it is, at some point we had to ask ourselves questions to determine whether we were on the right path. Your life purpose as a child doesn’t change, it takes a unique form or if you are multi passionate it adds. Depending on what you were like as a child, your purpose will change. These questions will help you explore the avenues you can take to figure out what you should do with your life.

The key here is to take your time with every question. More and more people are starting their businesses, following their passions, and even are exploring alternative paths. This is your year to do that. Take in mind the journey isn’t an easy one, if that was the case then many people would have followed their passions. But life is full of potholes and obstacles. Why should finding your life’s purpose be any different? So, here we go.

What were your passions a child

As children, we all had things we were passionate about. I loved creating stories. I’d create worlds where knights saved princesses, where super children would save the day, and many of my stories I wrote about them. I have always been a storyteller. That was my passion. The older I grew it shifted, but I never stopped being a storyteller.

As children, we have more freedom to pursue our passions. Then we become older and it’s shunned upon as though following your dreams is taboo. For many, it is. It’s as if you are choosing to struggle. But every successful person has struggled. Their stories have given us motivation and inspired us to become better versions of ourselves. That doesn’t take away from their story, it adds to it. So, don’t worry about following your dreams. The world isn’t the same as it was two decades or a decade ago. It’s easier now to make money from your passions.

You need to ask yourself this question, because many of us still have those passions even as adults. Whatever it was a child, write it. This will give you ideas on what you should do. This is one you can find your life purposes.

What are your hobbies?

Hobbies make the world feel better. They make us more creative or more at peace. It is an affordable therapy session. Most people have hobbies and we would feel less ourselves without them. You might have more than one hobby, that is alright. What is your number one hobby? As a teen and in my early twenties, I had two hobbies. I loved writing songs or poems and stories.

At that point, I thought I would become a singer songwriter, but the older I got I realized that wasn’t what I wanted. Not really. Your hobbies shape your personality. Take for example the messy artist who is an abstract artist or the passionate guitarist who wants to become a singer songwriter or the experimental budding chef. They want to become the next big thing and open a restaurant. Often, our hobbies take form and become part of our personality. Maybe, you don’t necessarily have a hobby, but you enjoy spending time with your friends and family members. This can be helpful because you are meant to be in the service industry.

What this means is that your experience or knowledge can be used to build a business? It can also mean your passion might be harder to find than others.

If you couldn’t fail, what would you do?

The number one reason many people don’t go for what they want is because of fear. They fear failing. It’s a normal response. We all have been through it. The clutching grip of not wanting to disappoint ourselves. We all have seen what happens when that happens. It’s as if a dark cloud hovers over us at the thought of failing.

But what if you couldn’t fail? I know it seems unlikely, but it’s fun to imagine a future where you are what you want to be. Maybe a world renowned speaker or a transformational coach or an entrepreneur. They are so many possibilities. I asked myself this question when I was sixteen. I kept asking myself this question until I found my answer. I wanted to help people. Sounds vague. But my life purpose was to help others find their purposes or inspire them to do so. That’s what I wanted. Ironic how they are so many ways to achieve this in a technological world, but it is true.

Check the pages of the Instagrammers you follow; you’d be shocked to find out many of them want to help others. Either find themselves, solve a problem, or start a business. Failure stops us from going after what we want. This question will help find your purpose in life. It is easier than you might think.

Also Related: 3 Powerful Ways to Overcome Failure

What’s your dream?

We all have dreams. That is a simple fact. Many of us don’t go after what we want for many reasons. Maybe it’s financial, lack of support, low self-esteem, or it can be that you are afraid. These stop us from going after what we want. But we all have dreams and our hesitations don’t take that away.

Have you ever had a bucket list? What about an intentions list? There are things we want to accomplish, and then procrastination happens along with doubt. It pins us to the floor. Unable to make a move until something shiny comes along. And darn it, that’s always happening. When you’re about to do something spectacular, you find yourself glued to the floor. But the thought is still there. “I want to be….”

This is how to find your life’s purpose by listening to your innermost thoughts. I wanted to be a writer as a kid. But here was the problem, I sucked at English and people around me found it amusing. How could I become a writer? Here’s the truth, I worked at it. I kept working at it. Pushing myself and I never gave up. Never give up on your dreams and even when people doubt you, don’t listen to them. Don’t listen to the negative voices floating in your mind. Having a bucket or intentions list can help you find your life’s purpose.

Who are you?

Many of us do not know who we are. But the people in our lives can help us with that. And there are few things that can give insight to this question. Why do you do what you do? Why do you love listening to people talk about their relationships and why do you give them advice? Why are you great at training dogs and don’t understand why your friends struggle with it? They are things that come naturally to us compared to others. It almost seems as if it isn’t a big deal, but it is.

Here’s another important fact. How would people in your life describe how you affected their lives? What would they say you have helped them with? Unless you’re a hermit, you have helped your friends or family with a problem. It can be big or small. Who we are encompasses a lot of things, but this will help you find your life’s purpose. This simple question will give you insight to your purpose.

Here’s another thing you should ask yourself, what makes you happy or angry? What injustices do you loathe? What makes you question what you could do more? Our loves and hates embody who we are, and this will point you in the right direction. This will give you a stepping stone and help you understand who you are better.

KEEP PUSHING

VANESSA

What is your takeaway from the blog and what are your favorite questions to find your life purpose? Comment below

3 Powerful Ways to Overcome Failure

by vanessa | Dec 23, 2020 | personal development

3 powerful ways to overcome failure

These are the three powerful ways you can overcome failure.

Overcoming failure can be a hard thing to handle especially when you put your all into something. How do you move past the feeling of being stuck or when you aren’t motivated? Failure is a hard thing to overcome. Many of us have no idea how to move forward because failure can take a chunk of our heart with it. When I wrote my first book in 2017 and published it, I believed that it would be successful. I had followed a lot of the advice I read.

I spent numerous days and weeks reading articles on anything related to book marketing. But it flopped. Months of working on the book and weeks spent of studying book marketing came to a stall. I had no idea what I did wrong. Maybe, if I had published it years prior this wouldn’t be happening. Time surely wasn’t on my side. Here’s the thing though failure is hard especially when you believe your product will be successful. If we were honest with ourselves there’s a 90% chance that whatever you do won’t be successful.

That might be harsh. But think about it, how many stories of breakout stars, underdogs, rags to riches stories do you hear. The reason why we love these stories because the person overcame failure and obstacles to get to where they wanted. If dreams were easy to accomplish then we all would be successful by simply thinking about it. The rags to riches story would be broadcast on our television every week. And we wouldn’t care because of how many times it happens. Life would be easier. Nothing would be worth a pint of gold. And we all would have want we wanted. But would it feel as if it was worth it? Would we cherish what we have if we could simply wish for something and it happened? Life is meant to be a journey. Overcoming failure is one way that makes life more enjoyable. As we wind down the year, I wanted to write a post on powerful ways to overcome failure.

Acceptance

Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement – C.S Lewis

To become successful, you need to fail. And you got to do it many times. Why? Because that is how you understand what it takes to do things the right way. I was once told they are many ways to do something, a lot of them are the wrong way. Many of us want to be successful like yesterday. But it doesn’t happen like that. And when it doesn’t, we feel like a cosmic joke. One thing I want you to understand is failure is a part of life.

Another thing I need you to realize is when you don’t accomplish what you want, that’s alright. Accept it. Many of our problems are because we don’t accept what has happened. After my colossal failure, I didn’t want to publish another book. I had to accept I failed, and I got something wrong. If other people were publishing books and they were successful, clearly there was something I did wrong. I had to figure that out, and it wasn’t a straightforward thing to do. One of the powerful ways to overcome failure is acceptance.

You need to accept you have failed to move forward because when you don’t, you’ll always make excuses for why something didn’t happen. It was wrong timing. You didn’t have money, or you didn’t have access to certain resources. These are all-plausible excuses, even so, you can do something at the right time and fail. Success doesn’t follow the same rules many of us do.

Accept you failed and move on from there. That’s the only way you can process things the right way and also grow from your experiences.

Change your thought patterns

When many of us fail, we believe we’re failures and that isn’t the case. Failing is a setback, it doesn’t define who you are. Think about the failures you experienced as a child. The first time you were rejected. The time you failed an exam or a project you were working on. How did you react to it? What did you do after you failed? What was your next move?

Many of us had to push ourselves harder. We studied more. Asked for help and practiced getting better. As children, we are pressured to do more and become better versions of ourselves. As we grow up, we allow our thoughts to take siege of us and we decide not to go forward. This is a big mistake. Because it becomes the defining point for our lives. When you choose to throw in the towel, even if it’s minor, you always do that. A powerful way to overcome failure is to change your thought patterns.

A setback takes nothing from you. We all experience setbacks and that’s a good thing because amid a storm, that’s the only way you can grow. You need to change your thought patterns so you can overcome failure. This is a powerful way to beat failure.

Also Related: What’s Holding You Back in Life?

Tell someone

Keeping failure, a secret doesn’t help you. Because it makes it seem as if it’s shameful. Maybe that’s what you believe, that you should be ashamed of your failures. But you shouldn’t. No one should. You failed. So what? How many people have failed at things to become successful? Sylvester Stallone was told he was too ugly to be an actor. Walt Disney was fired because his editor told him he lacked imagination. Albert Einstein failed 99 times. It was on the 100th time he was successful.

Many of us can’t imagine failing that many times and never give up. Yet he did it. When we hear stories of successful people, often they hide the fact these people failed. They make it seem as if on the first try they were victorious yet, that’s not the case. Tell someone so you can not only accept it but move forward as well.

How will you overcome failure? Comment below.

Keep Pushing

Vanessa