7 Things Holding You Back in Life

by vanessa | Oct 21, 2020 | motivation, personal development

7 things holding you back in life

There are a few things that might be holding you back in life. These are the seven most common ones.

As we wind down to the end of the year, you might ask yourself. What is holding you back in life? It’s a question we ask ourselves in our lives. They are dreams; we have buried within us. Maybe, at the start of this year, we wanted to embark on a journey of self-discovery and then the pandemic happened.

Maybe, for a while now, you have had dreams bubbling beneath the surface. Dreams you have wanted to work on, but you found yourself stuck in a loop of not knowing what to do next. We have all gone through that. But it’s now or never. You need to ask yourself what’s holding you back. Figure out what has kept you behind and why you aren’t as far as you hoped you would be.

I get it. We all have things that hold us back from going after our dreams. Many of us have sunk deep in the sea of unaccomplished dreams, and when we look back, we see all the lost potential. Time can be illusive. It’s tricky to wrap our minds around it and it can escape from our grasp. That’s why it’s important that you figure out what you want from your life.

What do you want to do? Ask yourself what’s holding you back in life. Be as honest as you can about it, because only then will you figure out what needs to be done and go after it. In this blog post, we will look at a few things holding you back in life.

Fear

Fear holds many of us back in life. It grapples and pushes us back. Many of us struggle with fear because no one can be certain of the future. That’s the problem. Uncertainty. If you want to go to a new city. That’s terrifying because you aren’t sure what will happen. We are so used to things working out the way we want them to. We are so used to a constant flow of predicted events.

What I mean by this is going to a new city for college is terrifying, but there’s a safety net. You know this is supposed to happen and you understand in no time you will make friends. But going to a new city on a whim is terrifying. I have done this many times and each time it was terrifying. I didn’t know what to expect, and that terrified me.

Fear holds many of us back. Fear is fake events appearing real. When I realized this, it was as if I had a Eureka moment. You can’t run away from fear. But you can push through it by acting on it. When you commit to action, it gets less terrifying the more you do it, but if you don’t act on it, fear will always hold you prisoner.

No one wants to remain in shackles. So, embrace that fear will always be there. Push past it. Don’t allow it to hold you back in life.

Lack of a clear vision

If you don’t have a clear vision for what you want to do this will hold you back. Why? Because you are stuck in a loop. You might know that you want to start a business. But you don’t know what kind of business. There are dozens of businesses out there. Different business models you can try out, but choosing the right one is difficult.

A clear vision sets those who excel from those who are stuck. Having a clear vision isn’t as hard as we’ve been led to believe. You need to know your why. The big reason you want to do a particular thing. It has to be strong. The stronger it is, the more it will push you in the direction that you want to go.

The next step is that you need to understand the fundamentals. For example, the fundamentals of starting a blog might be to know your niche, choose your brand name, designing your website and writing your pivotal blog posts (these are the blog posts that will attract your first readers.) The fundamentals of doing dropshipping will be different.

You then need to build the business. Building a business is the same in almost every industry, but you can get lost if your vision isn’t clear. A clear vision also includes your ideal readers/customers and what you will sell them. There’s more to this, but when you understand what a clear vision entails, it is easier to work on yours. Not having a clear vision for your life might be what’s holding you back.

Also Related: The Reality of Finding Your Calling

Your lack of a support system

Starting anything new can be terrifying because for a while you will be on your own. Your friends and family might not understand why you are doing what you are doing. It might confuse them or they could think you are acting out. When your loved ones don’t support you the way you want them to, it can be heartbreaking.

It can feel like they don’t love you. That’s not true. They want the best for you. And often what they think is the best for you isn’t the best for you. The best thing you should do is to accept it. Every successful person has gone through that. They have had to overcome their doubt and their loved one’s doubt. It’s a lonely way to the top.

That’s why you need to be part of a community of people who can support you. People who will understand that you are following your heart. There’s nothing wrong with following the beat of your drum. Don’t let anyone think otherwise. And even when people doubt you don’t allow this to stop you because you’ll regret it.

Don’t let this hold you back. What I have realized is that we are all on a journey. On that journey we will find people not who don’t believe in our dreams and it’s our choice. I am sure Jeff Bezos went through it. Many people might have thought he was crazy for creating Amazon. He founded the company in 1994 when online shopping seemed too futuristic, but he carried on with his idea. You do not understand how far your idea can go if you push through with it.

Lack of discipline

For many of us, lack of discipline is holding us back. For me, this was a factor. I would want to work, but I wanted to watch television more. That’s why it’s important that your why is powerful. When you have a powerful why you can push yourself and it is easier to do things.

Will you still struggle with discipline? Yes, but like everything in life, work at it. Many of us don’t become who we want to be because of lack of discipline. And the older we get; we regret never working on it. You can become better at self-discipline. We over complicate things. The simplest way is for you to have a sound reason you want to do something. Then you can use the ten-minute rule.

The ten-minute rule is a game changer. Why? Because if you work on something for ten minutes, you will see it through. This is the easiest way to work through discipline. You also need to realize that every problem has a solution. We all think some problems have no solutions, but that isn’t true. There’s a solution to every problem. All you have to do is find it and in time you will.

Limiting beliefs

Your limiting beliefs might hold you back in life. We all have limiting beliefs and we all struggle with them. The key is learning on how you can quieten the noise and prevent it from holding you back in life. Whenever you are about to doubt yourself look at all the things you have achieved and accomplished. All the things you have done with your life.

We all have moments that were motivation boosters. It doesn’t have to be big. The older we get, moments that appeared monumental don’t seem that way anymore. For example, at twenty-eight, your high school graduation doesn’t seem all that big. We can say the same thing when we graduate from college. However, those moments are still important because you achieved something.

When you think about that, you realize that you can achieve so much more. We all forget those moments and see them as inconsequential. But they are important. My big moment was when I was eleven. That was years ago, but it carries a lot of weight because I achieved something I thought was impossible. I won an award for coming in first place for sprinting. I have achieved more since then, but as a nonathletic person who it was a big moment for me. It showed me that our limiting beliefs hold us back from accomplishing great things.

Anything is possible. But here’s the key you must believe that.

Lack of self-awareness

Many of us aren’t self-aware. Heck, I struggled with self-awareness for the longest time. Not knowing who I was and what I wanted. It took a class in my first year of university for me to understand how important reflection is. Many of us do not understand how to reflect our actions and decisions.

It isn’t your fault. Society hasn’t taught us the importance of reflection. The reason we aren’t where we want to be in life comes to not reflecting on our decisions. Reflection should be part of your daily activities. You should ask yourself why do you feel this way? What your purpose is? What do you want from life? Continue asking yourself these questions and you will shocked and how far you will go.

Don’t be terrified of asking yourself these deep questions. If you are tired of not being where you want to be in life this will help. Lack of self-awareness is holding many of us back. It held me back for the longest time. Whenever I am afraid to do something, I ask myself why that is, and that pushes me past my barriers and keeps me going.

Not being good enough

Five years ago, the one thing that held me back was not being good enough. I never published my books because the thought of not being good enough was unbearable. I never pushed myself because I was afraid that people would judge me for my lack of talent.

This is where comparison hits the most. We care how people see us and compare us to other people. Comparing yourself is like comparing two different car models made in two different countries. Comparing yourself is pointless. Why? Because our backgrounds are different and so are our experiences. Someone who was once homeless will see life differently to someone who grew up in a two-parent household.

We all have this switch that turns on when we’re comparing ourselves. “That person is so much better than me at this.” We say. That is a given. They will always be people more beautiful, more talented, more experienced than you. It’s the world. But you can’t go on and compare yourself. That has to be the definition of madness. So, stop. Love yourself. Stop comparing yourself to people because that’s a recipe for disaster.

Don’t allow this to hold you back in life because it will. I will never be like Marie Forleo or Lewis Howes or Tony Robbins. Because God created that person to be one and not a clone of someone else. Just like God created you to be an equal and not like anyone else.

What are the things holding you back in your life? Comment below.

Keep Pushing

Vanessa

How to Turn Your Life Around in 12 Months?

by vanessa | Oct 14, 2020 | Entrepreneurs, personal development

how to turn your life around in 12 months

These are a few ways you can turn your life around in 12 months or less.

Many of us can agree that this year has been hard. So hard that we are questioning what the next step is. We are wondering how we can turn our life around. Regardless of what has happened in your life, we all get to a point where we want more from life. We want to do or achieve more. This year might have put more pressure on you because you realize that there are no guarantees in life.

You could have lost your job. You might have had to add another job to your already hectic schedule or it could be you lost someone. And that made you wonder if you if there’s more to life. There’s nothing wrong with ambition. This is what many people get wrong. As long as you check it. That’s important. Your ambition mustn’t be so dangerous that you’re willing to hurt the next person. I suppose this why many of us don’t go after what we want because we see it as deadly. Dangerous, even.

This isn’t true. We are weeks away from the end of the year. And they might be things you’re terrified to do because you believe it will change you. One thing starting a business has shown is me is that success and money can’t change a person. All it does it bring who you are into focus. You can’t hide who you really are once you become successful. That’s why successful people come in all shapes. So, ambition and money aren’t bad as long as you understand why you want to be successful. Here’s another thing you need to know: if you want to be successful for validation, then you are in for a rude awakening.

No one has the power to make you feel good about yourself unless you give it to them, but by doing that you will always want validation. You will always want acceptance. And when you don’t get, it will feel as you are worthless. You will feel as if you are sinking in a sea of inescapable pain. That’s why you need a clear why for what you are doing.

If you are still with me, here are a few ways you can change your life around.

Start a side-hustle

Baby steps, remember. As a kid I was wearing a float and my older brother threw me into the pool. Yes, he took the whole throwing someone into the deep-end literal. But many of us do. This should have encouraged me to swim, but it didn’t. We all are different.

Some people do well with pressure. Others don’t. You can’t apply one theory or tactic to everyone. That’s crazy. Therefore, meditation doesn’t work for everyone and I get you might be used to hearing that. Do meditation. Do this. But life doesn’t work that way. If you want to turn your life around, start a side-hustle. Generate a bit of money to start your business or whatever you want to do.

This is one of the best ways to turn your life around. Why? Because you are starting from scratch. You are learning new skills. You are building on the skills you already have. You are working with what you have. And they are a lot of side-hustles you can do from home. So, don’t worry, I have got you covered.

Also Related: Quick Side-Hustle Ideas To Start At Home

Start a business

If you are looking for something more exciting, than starting a business is a step into the right direction. Starting a business can turn your life around in 12 months. They are a lot of reasons it can turn your life around. But to be a successful entrepreneur, you need to develop skills. When I first started my business, I never knew how my life would change. I had to learn about designing graphics. I had to learn about WordPress and how to work on my site.

I learned a bit of marketing and the thing with starting a business is you never stop learning. Side-hustles take only a fraction of your life, but a business is like having a baby. It needs you to monitor, take care of, and worked on it constantly. They are a lot of businesses you can start. You could start a clothing business. Maybe you want to start a grooming business. Or it could be you want to do a start-up. They are hundreds of business models out there. But they all start with the knowledge of wanting to solve a problem.

Figure out what problem you want to solve and work from that. This is one of the best ways to turn your life around in 12 months because it will give you insight to what bad habits you need to kick to the curb.

Also Related: Is Entrepreneurship Right For You?

Start a blog and monetize

Yes, blogging still works in 2020, and yes, you can make money from it. Maybe, you want to start a blog and I recommend you think about starting one. It is still one of the easiest ways to turn your life around. The reasons can vary, but like starting a business, you’ll wear many hats.

That’s the thing about blogging. Even if you pay for someone to do things, you still have to learn how to hire talent. The first thing I learned in starting my blog was hiring talent isn’t easy. Often, you will lose money so I had to learn in order for me to understand who to hire. It was challenging, but also exciting. Starting a blog is only one part of the puzzle. The next part is monetizing it. Don’t wait years to monetize your blog. One thing that turned my life around was when I made my first couple of hundreds of dollars from my blog.

I had earned money from my blog. It shaped the way I saw everything. I realized I could do so much more. That’s one thing that’ll change your life around with blogging. It changes your mindset. You get into it not knowing if you’ll make a difference or change your life then it happens. You have a light moment and that’s so powerful.

They are many ways you can make money from blogging. But it starts with growing an email list, then you can monetize your blog. You can sell a product or service. You could also offer coaching services, sell a course or a membership. The sky is literally the limit for blogging. This one of the easiest ways you can change your life around.

Also Related: How to start a blog

Start to a podcast

Not everyone enjoys writing. So, if you are one of those people, then this too can turn your life around in 12 months. Podcasts have become increasingly popular in recent years, and they are like blogging. In that you talk about stuff that interests you and on a weekly basis you post your podcast episode on your website/blog.

If you feel more comfortable talking, than you can start a podcast. It is like blogging in another way, the barrier of entry is as low. It won’t take you a while to figure it out. You might spend more money depending on your budget. Some newbie podcasters start one without the equipment. Just a phone and a cheap microphone.

They are ways around it. But starting a podcast isn’t as difficult as you might think it is. It is all about dedication. But if you stick with it, a podcast will turn your life around in 12 months. Especially if you do it the right way. Yes, there’s the right and wrong way for starting a podcast.

Some people hurry the process and miss out of the experience. The experience of starting anything new will turn your life around. Keep moving forward in order for you to turn your life around. Remember, baby steps are important so don’t rush the process. Another thing to take into consideration is to not take too long. Procrastination Analysis is one thing many of us struggle with. Don’t be one of those people who achieve nothing because they spend too much time analyzing.

Also Related: How to Start a Podcast

Start a YouTube channel

This another way you can turn your life around in 12 months. But is harder to do than podcasting and blogging. It costs nothing though, which is the significant thing about starting a YouTube channel. In the beginning, as you grow, you will need to buy professional equipment. Still, you need to vamp up your skills. One thing you need to learn is editing videos. Which might take more time depending on how quick of a learner you are.

The funny or interesting thing with this list is that one will come before the other. Let’s say you start a YouTube channel; you might need to add a blog or a podcast. If you start a blog, then you will need to start a YouTube channel. You will need to do this if you want to grow faster. Why? Because those who use different mediums grow faster than those who don’t. Unless you started your business years ago before it became saturated.

Now, it’s saturated and to stand out you need different mediums. That’s the frustrating thing, but it will make it easier on you. YouTube is a search engine. Over two billion logged-in users. Imagine that. There’s 15% of traffic comes from the US. YouTube is the second preferred platform for watching video on screens for 18-34-year-olds. There’s a lot you can achieve with YouTube. Every year hundreds of people become famous from starting a YouTube channel.

Their lives have changed. Yours will turn around. They are a lot of niches you can choose from. A niche is a specialized topic, i.e. husky grooming is a sub-niche and dog grooming is the niche.

Write a book

This is one of my favorite ways to turn your life around. Why? Because it has the lowest bar of entry and you learn a lot about yourself. I get it you might think you aren’t a writer. You can hire ghostwriters to write your story. Everyone should write a book. Because you can change your life around in so many ways. You can shift your perspective.

The first time I wrote my story was in 2017 and it changed my life. I learned that what I thought I wanted; I didn’t. I also understood myself better. I knew that the only way to go forward was to be honest with myself. I stopped caring what people thought of me. The next year I started my business. But it started with writing one chapter at a time. The book was slightly over 20,000 words.

I didn’t have a lot of support. I didn’t see myself as a great non-fiction writer. Yeah, there’s a big difference in the way the words form. Fiction writers write with poetic justice. Words spin cobwebs and flow with such ease that it brings characters to light. With non-fiction writers, you become the character. Write with less poetic justice and more with a cautiousness in your words. Allow your personality to shine through every word you use. Different. You can still write both, but fiction writing has always been where I excelled. Though writing my first self-help book turned my life around. And I know it will do the same for you to.

You don’t even need to write a self-help book. There are hundreds of genres you can work on. But writing will turn your life around.

Create a course

The one thing that has turned many people’s life around has been creating a course. You can create a course from your blog articles, podcast episodes, or YouTube videos. You can create a course on any topic and it will sell as long as you understand what your customer wants and what they don’t want.

Let’s say you have written hundreds of dog grooming articles and even wrote a book. You could create a course on how to take care of your Siberian Husky, but you need to break it down. Maybe your audience is more interested in how to groom Siberian puppies. Find out what your audience wants and give it to them. It’s important that you do that because only then can you grow and turn your life around.

Creating a course can be tricky at first, but with time it gets easier. The noble thing is, you can always sell it. Make it once and sell it many times. That is one of the best things about creating a course. Gurus call this passive income. Every course creator will tell you that courses turned their lives around.

Create a membership/coaching

Another way to turn your life around in 12 months or less is by creating a membership or coaching business. What is outstanding about this is all you might need is a landing page to collect email addresses? A landing page is one page that requires a recent visitor to do one thing. For example, pay for a product or subscribe to a newsletter.

On your landing page you will offer a free premium product such as a checklist or an eBook. Once people subscribe, send them emails every month teaching them a new skill. You can then later talk to them about your membership site or coaching business. Your coaching or membership site can be about anything. It can be just articles, books, audio or video. You don’t need to include everything. What you do need to is focus on helping your clients. You can coach them on their ADHD or lack of focus, etc. In the beginning, solve one problem so it isn’t too difficult for you. The significant thing about this is that you can add to any of the other business models above. Starting a business is more general and the others are specialized business models.

Whatever you choose, these can change your life around for the better.

What is your main takeaway from this and how will turn your life around. Please comment below.

Keep Pushing

Vanessa

What’s Holding You Back in Life?

by vanessa | Oct 7, 2020 | Blog, motivation

What’s holding you back in life?

Here are five things that are holding you back in life.

Many of us ask ourselves this question in our lives. Whether it is when we turn twenty-one, twenty-five, thirty, thirty-five, or older. We all wonder what is holding us back in life? As kids and even as teenagers, it was easier to imagine what life would be like when we get older. When I was fourteen, I wanted to be a best-selling author by the time I was twenty-one.

That didn’t happen, and I asked myself what was holding me back in life? It was a simple question, but they were so many answers to it. And to be honest, the truth wasn’t as easy to compile. I would look in the mirror and wonder what to do next. Years passed by and I had worked on a few of my dreams until I lost myself again. Then, at twenty-five, I asked myself the question again. I wasn’t where I thought I would be. Instead of graduating on time, I graduated late because of financial issues.

It was still a glorious thing to celebrate, but I couldn’t help but wonder what was holding me back in life? Again, there was that question. Drilling in my head. It needed an answer. A question so simple, it should have been easy to answer. It has taken me years to find out what are the few things holding us back in life. Below are a few of them. You might discover that you struggle with a few of them. Just so you know that you aren’t alone in this. And it’s okay, just remember we all have gone through it before.

Fear is holding you back

I don’t like statistics, but sometimes it carries way more weight. So, here are a few necessary statistics that will give you perspective. 15 to 20% of us experience phobias in our lifetime. About 35% of people are afraid to go into business for themselves, they also fear that they will have inconsistent income. About 27% are terrified they’ll wind up making less money and won’t be able to support their family. I could go on and on, but you get the point.

Fear is what’s holding you back in life. The future is uncertain and therefore, it’s hard to predict what will happen. It’s hard to understand where you will go from here. What I can tell you is regret is more painful than fear. Fear can be a fleeting moment. Once you continually take action, it takes a back seat. If you were to do Facebook Lives every week for three months, your fear of doing it will seem less scary. But the regret of never trying will stay with you forever.

Fear holds many people captive. Stops them from going after their dreams and makes it harder to find yourself. We all are afraid of something. For the longest time, I had terrible stage fright. I would hyperventilate at the thought of it. My knees would wobble and my throat would close. Still, I wanted to get over it, so one day I went onto the stage. As terrifying as it was, eventually the fear disappeared. Often what’s in our mind is scarier than the reality. In my mind, I thought if I choked people would laugh at me. I thought I would make a fool of myself. That didn’t happen.

Also Related: 14 Ways to Conquer Fear

The opinions of others is holding you back

If you’re like most people, then people’s opinions are holding you back in life. We all want people to see the real us. The one that very few people get to see. But we’re terrified that will chase them away. We’re scared that those people who we admire will respect us less once they see us. The real us. The one behind the façade. When I wrote my first book and shared it on Facebook. This was my first thought. What would people think? Would they assume I was being someone I wasn’t?

The funny thing is, they were people who thought I was trying to be someone I wasn’t. But they were people who supported me. No matter what you do, people will talk about you. Someone once said to me, if that’s the case, then why not give them something to talk about. Someone’s opinion of you doesn’t represent who you are. It’s based on their fears, so don’t allow that to stop you from going after your dreams. Don’t allow the opinions of others to hold you back in life. Because regardless of what you are doing, if you focus on that, it will always hold you back in life.

Your beliefs are holding you back

It’s true what they say. We are our biggest enemies. When I was younger, the one thing I struggled with was positivity. I knew how important it was, but I couldn’t stop thinking negatively. I was a pessimist. And when anything went wrong, I would nod as if I figured life’s great mystery. “Look, I told you this would happen,” I’d tell anyone who would listen.

I once had a conversation if my friend. “Listen, I imagine the worst-case scenario and when it happens I’m not shocked.”

She looked at me as if I had lost my mind. I don’t blame her. Don’t know why I thought it was so important to think that way. Maybe a small fraction of me didn’t want to be disappointed, and I believed if I was pessimistic I would avoid the heartbreak.

The older I got I realized that was Bull. Our beliefs hold us back. Whenever we think something can’t work or it’s too good to be true. When we believe we can’t make it. Our beliefs are pushing us far back. Your beliefs are preventing you from progressing and that is a problem because if you want to go far, you need to change that. Many of us do our best to change our outward appearance, hoping it changes who we are.

It doesn’t. Changing your thought patterns can positively affect your life. Focus on what you want instead of the impossibilities of it happening. Focus on what you have instead of what you don’t have. Be grateful for every chance you have to improve your life. One thing that changed my life was when I changed my belief patterns. I stopped being pessimistic and started living every day the best I can.

The pain of failure is holding you back

Our two main emotional receptors are pleasure and pain. We lean more towards pleasure rather than pain. That is why the beauty industry is a billion-dollar money-making machine. Women and men spend hundreds to thousands of dollars on products, clothes, and shoes every year to look their best.

The entertainment industry is another money-making machine. It generates hundreds of new songs, albums, movies, and TV shows every year. All for us to consume it or spend hundreds of dollars to entertain us at home. We love to feel nostalgic, giddy, excited, relaxed, and calm. We get that from beauty and entertainment. But we run away from pain. Unless we have built a pain tolerance. But it takes time to do that. For many of us, the pain of failure is enough to drive us away. This is holding you back. The immense pain of failure.

No one wants to fail. No one to walk around wearing a jacket called “happy to fail.” That’s ridiculous. We don’t dream about failure as something profound. Still, it is there. Failure is inevitable. Even if it’s in front of hundreds or thousands of people, you will fail. It’s hard to run away from it. And it is hard to embrace it.

Then what? What is the solution? Simple? Accept it’s there. Think of it like that pesky neighbor who thinks your house is their backyard. No matter what you do or say, they’re still there. The same thing applies here. Failure will be there two years from now. It will be at the back of your mind when you see your former friends from high school. It will be there when you smile at your co-workers. No matter where you turn, it will be there. Accept it. And work on your dreams because if you allow it to, then the pain of failure will keep you from greatness.

Also Related: How to Solve Problems Like A Entrepreneur

Living in the past is holding you back

Okay, this one is a given. If you are living in the past, that is holding you back. What I mean is that they are things we all wish we had achieved, at a particular junction in life. I wanted to be the best-selling author at twenty-one. When life doesn’t happen the way we want, many of us give up. We throw in the towel. Thinking it makes no sense for us to follow our dreams now.

I know someone who wanted to be a tennis coach, but when it didn’t happen, they gave up. They wanted it to happen at a particular time and age. So, they were like, “maybe, it was never meant to happen.”

Big dreams stay with you whether you want it to. Big dreams are always there. It can either be like a whisper, a gentle current, or a torrent. But it will always be there. If something hasn’t happened the way you expect it to happen, it doesn’t mean it never will. Giving up isn’t the answer. If you do that you will never find yourself.

We all need to stop living in the past. When we live in the past, we make excuses. We forget our calling. Regret prevents us from seeing an opportunity. We doubt our potential. We believe that we don’t have what it takes. Therefore, living in the past is holding us back. Stop allowing it to get away with crushing your hopes and dreams on the bedrock of broken promises and mistakes. We all make mistakes, and that’s how we learn from them. Move forward with your dreams.

KEEP PUSHING

VANESSA

What is holding you back from going after what you want? Comment below

5 False Beliefs About Working On Your Dreams

by vanessa | Sep 30, 2020 | Entrepreneurs, motivation

5 FALSE BELIEFS ABOUT WORKING ON YOUR DREAMS

They are five false beliefs many of us believe when we’re working on our dreams.

Do you want to start a business? Do you want to write a book? Do you want to follow a creative path? For every yes, there’s a false belief. Society has shaped us to accept these false beliefs to an extent that many of us don’t follow our dreams. We are told that doesn’t work or you are foolish for thinking you will be successful following that path. So what do many of us do, we throw in the towels.

Choosing to give up because it seems like the easiest thing to do. Success is terrifying. What is more terrifying is failing at our dreams? That’s why many of us give in. The thought of failure is too daunting to continue going down that path, so it’s easier. Simpler even to give up. These false beliefs have shaped who we have become. They have stolen more than our dreams, but our ambitions as we choose to not fight for what is rightfully ours.

In this blog post, I will share 5 false beliefs, hoping it will change your perspective and show you the potential that you possess. When you believe in these false beliefs, it is harder to face the reality. That reality is based on what you want to do with your life and where you want to go.

Your don’t have what it takes

How many of us have been told this? When I was a little kid, I loved to sing. Here was the problem. I was terrible at it. I was tone deaf and didn’t have the courage to sing. This should have stopped me, but it didn’t. I auditioned for a singing competition at school and made a fool of myself.

I choked on the song and I remember people doing their best not to laugh. For two years I would sing in private as I practised singing. I started writing lyrics at nineteen years old. Anyone who looked at me said I didn’t have what it took. I wanted to be a singer, and I wanted to see that through. When I was eighteen, I auditioned for a regional singing competition and I failed to make it to the second round. I didn’t give up though. At twenty, I tried it again, and I failed. Then my lucky break came when I was twenty-one and I auditioned. I sang my song this time and went through to the next round.

The day of the competition came, and I sang my heart out. And I came in second place. If the sixteen-year-old me had believed in what they said about me, I wouldn’t have pushed myself. I wouldn’t have come in second place, and I wouldn’t have realized singing wasn’t the right path for me. We base our false beliefs on what people think we are and not who we are.

Also Related: Is a Success Mindset Key to Success?

It will take forever to achieve your dreams

This depends on you. So, this can be a yes or a no. There are some people who became successful in ten years. There are also people who achieved their dreams in three to five years. This false belief needs to die a painful death. Many people believe that it will take them years to achieve success.

Often, we miss the opportunities right in front of us because we’re caught up with what it’s supposed to look like. My dream was to be a singer. I imagined winning a Grammy or singing on a stage in front of millions of people. I didn’t do that. However, I sang in a room full of two hundred plus people. I achieved my dream on a smaller scale, but I found myself.

You too will find yourself if you go after your dreams. Maybe it won’t be as you imagined, but you might find you have another dream. And if you stick with that dream it will take you places you never imagined because you dared enough to believe in yourself. Believe in your potential, and that is more powerful than you can imagine. Your story hasn’t ended yet, so keep moving forward from now on and you will achieve your dream in no time.

It won’t take forever to achieve your dream as long as you stick with it. With all the technology out there and courses you can purchase, it is a lot easier to achieve your dream in record time than it was years ago.

Success changes you

This false belief is the reason many people never chase their dreams. Believing it will change them for the worse. This is like money is the root of all evil mantra we were told as kids. These are intangible objects, so they can’t change you. Success and money have no power over you. They are results of hard work. It’s like saying that penthouse you have always wanted will turn you into a vain, spiteful and evil human being.

It isn’t as if the penthouse can change who you are. This is an excuse because the reality of success is scarier than we can imagine. It’s easier to say I don’t want to change because of X, Y or Z. I realize that money, success and fame don’t change you, they just highlight who you were. So the evil, manipulative person becomes worse once they become successful. Your greedy co-worker or associate will become worse when they become wealthy.

However, if you were generous before, your success will show. It will bring out who you are. Eliminate this false belief because this is preventing you from going after your dreams and becoming successful.

You can’t make money from your dreams

In the 90s, this was harder to achieve than now. So, this argument held water back then. But this false belief has no merit now. It is easier to make money from your dreams than years ago. So you don’t have to be a struggling artist with a fridge full of Ramen noodles. You don’t have to sleep on a mattress dreaming about a future that may never come to pass.

No, you don’t have to watch movies about people achieving their dreams and cry yourself to sleep. The internet has brought in a wave of possibilities that have changed the outcomes for the better. YouTube has turned average Joes into the next wave of Influencers, and TIK Tök has done the same.

Poor kids are now millionaires, jet setting and living in two-story houses reserved for the rich. You can make money from your dreams. Let that soak in. Don’t believe in the lies society has told you. You can make money from your manuscripts, from your paintings, from choreography, from your poems, the artwork who hid from the world and your designs. Stop thinking and believing your ideas aren’t a worth a dime. Stop thinking your start-up will never see the light of day. Start believing in the promise of a blemished and imperfect, yet promising tomorrow.

You can’t change your negative thinking patterns

I was a Negative person. Positive thinking patterns weren’t my thing. It took years for me to realize I could change, and I did. My patterns shifted, and I started seeing the possibility of a bright future. We need to stop believing in this false belief. Anyone can change if they want.

As a kid, I used to hear that a leopard can’t change their spots. This is bogus. Okay, a leopard can’t change their spots, but you have the potential to become more. Freud stated that at five kids personalities form. This is partly true. But we can still change. Maybe not the core of who we are, but we can develop to become more. As a kid, I was ambitious. A dreamer. And I still am that person.

But I have systems in place that help me understand my dreams better. I am more than willing to figure myself out, and I have positive thinking patterns. Anyone can change who they are. They are stories of janitors, cleaners and homeless people who became billionaires. Imagine what that person would have had to do to endure to change their belief system. Imagine being homeless and fighting for your dream. How much bravado do you have to possess to achieve that?

If a homeless person can be a billionaire what’s stopping you. No one is stopping you from achieving greatness except you. Start seeing the opportunities laid out before you. This will help you go for your dreams faster. Let the false beliefs slip out of your hands and hold on to something more powerful. The potential to be great. That is something we all should hold on to.

What false beliefs do you believe that are stopping you from achieving your dreams? Comment below.

Keep Pushing

Vanessa

The Beginner’s Guide To Mastering Self-Discipline

by vanessa | Sep 23, 2020 | Blog

The Beginner’s guide to mastering self-discipline

These five steps in mastering self-discipline will help you achieve more in less time and avoid the headache of overwhelm.

Mastering self-discipline isn’t easy. In fact, self-discipline is one of the hardest things to learn. That is why every year thousands of people around the world spend money on learning how to master self-discipline. I am sure that number is higher than the figure you imagine. This is a beginner’s guide to mastering self-discipline, but I want to give you a bit of context.

The health and fitness industry talks about self-discipline. Maybe not the way you imagine it. But you can’t exercise and become a healthier version of yourself if you don’t master self-discipline. They train people to exercise daily, but they don’t bash you on the head with self-discipline mantras. They teach you to resist eating food that won’t benefit you in the long run.

The longer you do something, the easier it is to keep doing it. The health and fitness industry aren’t the only ones that teach self-discipline. But so does everything else. If you have bought a course on making money online, you’re taught to change your mindset. This will trigger something within you. A willingness to push yourself. Most course creators break such videos into bite sizes. That encourages you to watch the videos. The more you watch, the eager you are to learn more.

Picking up an instrument teaches you self-discipline. Most instructors will tell you to practice for ten minutes a day. Putting ten minutes aside to learn an instrument isn’t intimidating. We all have ten minutes to spare. The likelihood that you will come up with an excuse is slim. This is reverse psychology. Many of us don’t even realize it until we take time to analyze the strategy behind it.

Small steps

Rome wasn’t built in a day. Remember that. If you want to master self-discipline, then you need to start small. This is the first step in the beginner’s guide to mastering self-discipline. Work on self-discipline daily for you to improve it. The reason is we are rebellious. We don’t enjoy doing things good for us. The way our brains operate it, we observe good things as pain. That is why we avoid it.

The process is for painful for those who have two jobs. Very few people want to come back after a long day at work and start working on their side-hustle not in the beginning. When you are used to something, it is hard to kick the habit. That’s why it’s important you start small. Take small steps towards progress. If you want to start a business. Then what’s the first thing you should work on. It isn’t building the business.

It’s your mindset. This will make it so much easier for you to progress. This is the beginner’s guide to mastering self-discipline, so I want to make it easy for you. One thing you should do is start with affirmations. The reasons why you are doing what you’re doing. For example, your reason to exercise is because you want to look good. Your deep desire could be that you want to be healthier. When you build affirmations that help you, this will encourage self-discipline, but it also motivates you.

Also Related: 7 Step Action Plan For Instant Motivation

10 minute rule

When I heard this, I was shocked it was so simple. The second step in the beginner’s guide to mastering self-discipline is the 10-minute rule. This will help you beat procrastination. So, for all those procrastinators, try this and it will solve it. Remember, sometimes the best steps are the ones we are unaware of or we do subconsciously.

There are activities that we thought would take 10 minutes, and we ended up working on it for hours. That is the key there. Tell yourself that you will work on something for 10 minutes. What happens is you will be engrossed in the activity? Once you’re immersed in what you’re doing, you will want to continue working on it.

This is a quick boost that will motivate you. The 10-minute rule works because we have been doing it since we were kids. Our parents would tell us to do something for a certain period. Then we will be immersed in the activity. The reason why many of us don’t know this rule is because it’s so simple it’s stupid. How many tactics and tricks to we subscribe to? Thinking it will help us with procrastination, but it does the opposite.

If you do this for a month, you will get used to it. You need to do this daily so you don’t forget this tactic. It’s easy for you to forget about this rule, so whip it out every day.

Imperfection is the key you’re missing

Step three in the beginner’s guide to mastering self-discipline is imperfection. Wait, what? You heard me correctly. Stop trying to be perfect. The reason many of us struggle with self-discipline is we want to be perfect. We want to have perfect workout routines. We want to pick an instrument and be a prodigy.

We want to learn a language in a shorter period. We want to feel intelligent when building our business. But in the beginning, there’s always imperfection. We live in a society where perfection is a drug that Hollywood executives whip out. As a society, we embrace perfection on the covers of magazines. So, yes, people want to be perfect.

But perfection doesn’t exist. You can try looking for it, but you will never find it. Often, we look at fiction as if it’s reality. Flawless skin doesn’t exist. Starting something off is a hard process, but that’s beside the point. It should be hard in the beginning. It is then that you will know it’s worth it.

Imagine if we all got things right in the beginning. What would the point be? I can imagine that conversation. “I learned how to play the piano in a week,” you’d say to your friends.

“That’s outstanding. How do you feel?”

“I feel as if it was pointless. It didn’t feel like a challenge. As if I grew.”

There’s pain in the aftermath of success. There’s pleasure in the endurance of struggle. Keep that in mind.

Obstacles make you better

Start seeing obstacles as a way for you to grow. An opportunity to push yourself. This is step four in the beginner’s guide to mastering self-discipline. We all see obstacles as these titans that prevent us from pushing forward. But obstacles make you better.

Look at any successful person, the number one thing they have in common are their obstacles. These obstacles made them better versions. You can also use this as an affirmation to guide you on your path to mastering self-discipline. Realize that the obstacles you face strengthen you. It gives you the courage you need to never forget who you are and where you started from.

Sometimes we forget. We forget that the obstacles helped us to grow. That’s not that bad a thing. When you look at obstacles as points of growth, your approach will differ. Often, the best way to master self-discipline is to change your perspective.

Your perspective shifts your mindset. When your mindset shifts, then this will encourage you to keep pushing yourself until you get it right.

Don’t give up

The last step in the beginner’s guide to mastering self-discipline is don’t give up. Even if you follow all this, self-discipline takes time. There are a lot of other steps you can take to become more self-disciplined, but it still takes time. You need to be kind to yourself. Appreciate the journey and keep moving forward.

When you see it as a journey, you are more willing to make mistakes as you continue to find yourself. That’s the beauty of life. That you can make mistakes and still learn from them. We aren’t born knowing things that would take so much out of life itself. Instead, we keep learning and growing. Self-discipline is the same way. Once you understand why you are doing what you’re doing. Giving up is a less likely choice. In fact, it isn’t even a great option.

So don’t give up. Never give up going for what you want. Self-discipline takes time. Keep that in mind as you move forward.

Also Related: How To Master The Art Of Never Giving Up

What is your main takeaway from this blog post? What are your struggles when it comes to self-discipline? comment below.