Why You’re Not Following Your Life Purpose

by vanessa | Jun 8, 2022 | Entrepreneurs, motivation, personal development, Success

Why you’re not following your life purpose?

Here are the reasons why you might not be following your life purpose

We all have a life purpose, but most do not know what it is. And that there is the problem. There’s a significant number of people not satisfied with their life. A large proportion that wants more out of life. This group feels like they missed their calling and feels as if they aren’t living their dream lives. The older they get, the more convinced they are that they aren’t living their dreams.

As time goes, this doesn’t magically disappear because of age. In fact, it becomes worse because most people want to live a life they love, but are unsure how to do it. They want to stop living a life that aren’t satisfied with. And that is why I wanted to write this blog post because I truly believe that when we stop trying to please everyone, we will live our lives. When we stop trying to become like someone else, that is when we discover what we are made of. That is why this blog post might be one of the most important articles you will read on life’s purpose. Why? Because when you find out why you’re not following, your life purpose will help you a lot. This will help you understand what you need to focus on. So drumroll please. Let’s go.

You’re directionless

Raise of hands. Who has felt directionless? I’ve been where you are right now. I used to be directionless, and this was a big proponent of why I didn’t go after my life’s purpose. I did not know what I wanted to do. Nor did I know what direction I should go in. When you’re directionless, you’ll spend years struggling to play catch up and this can deflate your self-esteem.

It is important you have a direction. Would you go on a major trip without knowing what route you should take? No. Right. What about presenting a topic without an idea of the topic you will speak about? No. Right. Problem is we are directionless for our life purpose. We imagine a life where we live on our own terms, but we can’t seem to go in the right direction. Pinpoint the direction you want to go in. If you are a photographer, what kind are you? What do you want your life to be like in the next five or ten years? Who is your target audience? Newly wed couples. Young families. Portraits. Nature.

Choose your direction and it will be easier to figure out the next steps you should take.

A weak why

You aren’t following your life purpose because your why sucks. What this means is that your reasons don’t hold water. Have you ever tried using an old sponge when washing dishes? The old sponge doesn’t hold as much water as a new sponge. Why? Because the pores in the sponge have seen better days. Therefore, they can’t hold enough water.

Your why is like this? Let’s say your life’s purpose is to become a real estate agent. Your why is so that you can make money? This won’t work. Because money isn’t a strong enough factor to push you. One day you work hard and the next when you don’t see results, you will give up. Why? Because you aren’t seeing the results that you won’t and your motivator has disappeared. So, let’s change that why to something more fundamental? Your why is to show people substantial properties so that they don’t feel cheated? You want to change the way real estate works.

This is a much stronger why because you aren’t focusing on the destination, but on the journey. Many of us start like this. We focus heavily on his destination. If I make X amount per month, my life will change. What if you don’t make that money? Then what? Focus on the journey rather than the destination.

Also Related: Why Should You Follow Your Purpose?

“A Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step

– Lao Tzu

Focus on the journey rather than the destination

The third reason you’re not following your life purpose is because you are spending way too much of your energy on the destination rather than the journey. That is why the quote above is so important. Every journey in life begins with the first step. Sometimes that is all you need to focus on. Step one. That is it. What do you want to achieve? How do you want to achieve it? Focus on step one. Focus on the baby step. And then you can see the whole thing coming together.

That is the key. Everything comes together. You now see a path that you didn’t see before and you understand what you need to do. Here’s an example. You want to start a blog. Step one. Find what you want to write about. Step two. Research your competitors. What are they writing about? Who is their target audience? Reverse engineer. Find the sweet spot so that you can compete. Then design your blog. Easier said than done. I know that, but this is a simple snippet to understand.

Climbing up a ladder is easier when you take your time climbing each rung. When you try to step on the rung far from your reach, you’ll hurt yourself. That is why you need to focus on the step ahead of you. That is how to get to where you’re going without breaking a sweat. Okay, you’ll break a sweat, but at least you won’t exhaust yourself trying to do too many things all at once.

Fear has gotten you down

The fourth and last reason you’re not following your life’s purpose is fear. It can be a fear of people’s opinions or your own. What if I fail? What if I’m not good enough? What will people say? The list goes on. So, you need to decide. Imagine there are two doors and you need to choose. One is blue, and the other is red. Now, choose the blue door and you’re life will be as simple as it can be. They will be no hurdles or hiccups. You will experience an average and ordinary life because you took no risks.

Did I bore you yet? The red door is full of adventure, hiccups, extraordinary measures and roadblocks. Or did I forget to mention danger? Not the kind that will poison you or get you killed. Still, it will have adventure and heartbreak. You will explore the world, but also put yourself out there. You will find yourself and yet lose part of yourself. Your old self, that is. You walk with more confidence yet squirm when you step out of your comfort zone. Hope I painted a splendid picture.

Here’s the thing: you can only choose one door. So pick wisely. There’s nothing wrong with either choice. It’s up to. But the red door you will grow more and the blue door you won’t change as much. Fear holds us hostage, and it is the reason many of us aren’t following your life’s purpose. How you combat this is by letting of what people say. Heck, let go of what you think and just do it. Take that leap. You won’t regret it.

Also Related: Overcoming Fear of Failure

What are your reasons for not following your life purpose? Comment below.

Keep Pushing

Vanessa

Why Your Belief System Is A Success Factor?

by vanessa | May 25, 2022 | Entrepreneurs, personal development, Success

Why your belief system is a success factor

Find out why your belief system is a success factor.

We all have heard that saying, “you are what you think you are.” Most of us wonder if this is even true. Are we truly what we think we are? It’s been said that the most powerful computer actually isn’t a computer you’ll find at NSA or the pentagon. No. Our brains are the most powerful computer. Whatever we think of can compute in mere seconds. That’s powerful. Your belief system is a success factor. Why? How? Think of it this way. Have negative thoughts ever consumed you? Was your life better because of it or worse off?

Your belief system is a powerful motivational booster, but it can also destroy you. Whether we want to accept it or not, we are a product of our thoughts. I have been there, and I know how powerful our belief system can be. I’ve seen it firsthand how one thought can change someone’s life. Here’s an interesting fact. Did you know we need three to five positive thoughts to combat one negative one? Think about that. Negative thoughts have far more weight than positive ones. Not because it’s true, but because as human beings we are wired to take negativity more seriously. That’s our survival mode. It’s why we pay attention to what’s negative or bad news compared to the positive. Below is why your belief system is a success factor.

Power of thought

My brother gave me this is plaque when I was a little kid. It’s called the “Winners Creed.” Basically, it states that the person who wins the race isn’t necessarily the best runner or the best at what he does. No, the person who wins often is the one who believes that they can. That’s the thing with life. You are what you think you are. When I was younger, I thought I was a talentless hack, and you know what I was right. Because that was my belief system. I held onto it as if it was true and it ultimately became.

Our brains are extremely powerful. Incapable of so much. We can achieve so much. And that is, you need to steer your belief system in the right direction. If you don’t, you will believe in things that won’t help you to become successful. Success is determined by a lot of things. It’s determined by your ability to motivate yourself. It reflects your belief system. Why are successful people confidant? It’s because they believe they can find a solution to their problems. They believe they have what it takes to become successful. Yes, it’s that simple.

Your thoughts have more weight than you think they do. It all comes to what your belief system is and how it will determine your success.

Failure is just a word

Failure is just a word. Yet, we put so much weight on it. As if it is everything. But it really isn’t. Your belief system determines what happens. If you take failure to heart, it will mess you up. You will start thinking that you aren’t equipped to do anything. As someone who struggled with ADHD when I failed, it was like the end of the world. When I made a mess of things, I’d curl into a ball because it always seemed way more important than it was.

It took me time and reflection to realize failure doesn’t determine where I go from here. I do. If I take it with a pinch of salt, then I’ll be fine. If I see it as a motivational booster, I’ll grow from it. Your system of belief will determine how you see failure. Do you see it as a roadblock or something that is holding you back? Everyone successful has failed at something. If they hadn’t, then they wouldn’t be successful. They wouldn’t be who they are today. Here’s an example. When I was younger, a Tom Cruise movie came on. It was one of his first movies and I remember how awful that movie was. I remember little except how I hated it. Afterwards I was like, “Tom Cruise couldn’t act.”

It was a revelation. That one of the best actors couldn’t act when he started. But he never gave up. He kept pushing himself, and now here he was. I’m not a Tom Cruise fan, never been. But I admired Tom’s resilience. Whatever you start, chances are you will suck at it. But that doesn’t mean you will continue to suck at it. See, our belief systems have more power than we think they do.

Reprogram how you see failure

How you see failure will determine so many things, including your belief system. It isn’t as hard as it seems. You just need to stop seeing it as something that is holding you back. See it as an opportunity to grow. The most successful people have all failed time and time again. No one is born knowing how to do something. Wow! Mind blown. That’s what I realized. We are so hard on ourselves for failing at something, yet no one is born knowing how to do something.

Before a baby can walk, it has to roll, then crawl, and finally it stumbles until they can walk and finally run. It’s a slow process. When a baby falls. They cry. But after they have calmed down, they get up and keep going. Imagine if a baby chose not to do this, then they’ll never walk. Remember when you learned how to write or ride a bike? Wasn’t it hard? What about when you learned how to use a pen?

Kids embrace failure because they know that this is just the start of their life. Their belief system is far more powerful than an adult because they see their potential. Start seeing your potential. Where you want to go? Who you want to become? See all that you can achieve if you don’t give. That’s how powerful your belief system is. Lean into that and you will be shocked at where you find yourself.

Embrace change

When you embrace change, it will open doors to places you never imagined. When I was twenty-one, I hated change. Thought it was the end of the world. When I accepted it and embrace it. Things changed. I travelled. I lived in Switzerland and South Africa. It was as if my blinders were finally off and I realized that change is beautiful.

Change opens doors and eyes. It creates opportunity. I’m better because I embrace change. Your belief system helps determine how you see change. If you don’t embrace change, then whenever it happens, it will wreck you. Life is like a river. It flows in one direction. Outside forces can change the course or even can alter the force of the river. Things happen we can’t do anything about. Sure, you have accepted the weather. What about the bigger obstacles like losing your job, a health scare or even death?

What about a change, of course? Or something bigger. Then what? Learn to embrace change because once you do, you’ll be ready. Not saying it will be easy when you come across obstacles. No. Still. You will be prepared. Remember, your belief system determines how you see change. So start seeing it in a positive light.

Never give up

Your belief system will determine whether you give up or you don’t. It’s important to never give up. Sure, they are things that aren’t worth it. Like no point in holding onto a toxic friendship or abusive relationship. Throwing in the towel is a good idea. What about projects you are working on? Or the dreams you envision? What about them? Most of us give in. Not because we are incapable of doing it.

It’s bigger than that. Most of us aren’t sure if it’s worth it or rather we aren’t sure if the hardship will reap huge rewards. So, we give up. Throw in the towel. Choose to move on. When people ask us what happened? We tell them we weren’t successful. No wants to feel like a failure. No one wants to feel as if they haven’t achieved their dreams. Guess what? Giving up won’t comfort you. You will always wonder what if. We’re consumed by the opinions of others over what we want to do with our lives?

People will always have opinions. Whether you choose to do something or don’t. It doesn’t matter. After I published a book, my friend asked me who I thought I was. I wasn’t Danielle Steel. We are no longer friends. I appreciate she said it to me rather than behind my back. I digress. I realize now that when you do something, people don’t understand, they’ll have negative opinions. Not everyone. Make shifts and changes. Never give up. You deserve to go after your dreams. Your belief system will help you understand so much about yourself. It will also determine whether you will be successful.

Also Related: 4 Things to Remember When Giving Up

KEEP PUSHING

VANESSA

What is your key takeaway and how will you start working on your belief system? Comment below

Busting Making Money Online Myths

by vanessa | May 4, 2022 | creativity, Entrepreneurs, motivation, personal development, Side-Hustles

Busting Making Money Online Myths

They are numerous making money online myths, the four below are the most common and popular.

Here I am again. Your personal myth buster. Haven’t done a segment like this in a while. So, I thought I would dust my favorite yellow myth busting jacket. Take it out of the closet and tantalize your interest. So this year I wanted to bust making money online myths. Here’s the thing about making money. It isn’t easy and there is so much noise out there. No white noise. No, this is the kind of noise that gives you a migraine because of misinformation or just too much information.

The internet has been around since the 90’s. That’s a long time. Making money online started as early as the late 90’s. Strange right, but if you were old enough back, then you must remember subscriptions and even paying for email newsletters. Back then, though, it was in its infancy. Too young to make a dent or splash in the papers. Not enough people were interested.

Making money online became popular after 2008. When the world was hit with a tsunami of bad news. You remember the year? People lost their jobs. Inflation was at an all-time high. Well before the pandemic. College grads were now wondering what they’d do with their life. High school seniors weren’t optimistic about their future. It just wasn’t the best year. But that is when entrepreneurship became popular and more people were trying to find out how to make money online. So, this isn’t a new wave. Every year, this industry grows. And because of that, so do the tails start wagging even more. They are a lot of myths out there. So, I thought I would take the time to bust making money online myths.

Myth 1# People don’t make money online

I have an aunt who I love dearly. When she visited my family seven years ago before, I really made headway in making money online. She told me a story about how a friend of hers’ lost money online. She then told me, ” people don’t make money online.” Now, I had done my research and knew that they are dozens of ways to make money online. I couldn’t blame her. They are many people who think that.

So here’s the first making money online myth that I want to bust. People make money online. You know that adage; they are many ways to skin a cat. What they don’t tell you is that they are right and wrong ways to do it. They are people who never make money online. That’s because they aren’t doing it the right way. Be smart when you want to make money online. That requires foresight and something many of us are terrible at. You got it. Patience. Be patient. You know squirrels spend a lot of their time finding the right nuts to bury. They will forage until they find the right nuts. Many of us aren’t patient. We give up way too early and because of that, we cannot achieve what we want.

If you want to make money, then you need to practice patience. Not the easiest thing to do, but it is the most rewarding thing you can do. Think of what you want to achieve and then focus on that. Let that be the reason behind your purpose.

Myth 2# You need lots of money to make money online

They are dozens of ways to make money online. Some require more money than others. Others you don’t need as much. There’s a twofold way to bust making money online myth two. The first fold is that you can start simple and progress from there. What skills do you have? Maybe you are great at writing or even good at being on camera.

Starting a blog or YouTube channel requires the least amount of money. In 2018, when I started my blog. I didn’t have any money. There was zero dollars in my bank account. My big brother sent me some money. I put it in a bank account. It was only one hundred dollars, and I started my blog with that. I paid for a month using Hostgator and I went from there. Sometimes you don’t need the full picture. Often you just need a smaller one. Use what you have instead of focusing on what you don’t. Even if you have no money, you can borrow or you can make money. I will share that with you later.

You can even start with a YouTube channel. Just use your phone and a lavalier mic that you can get for $20. That’s all you need. So myth two has been busted. If you still have doubts, think about how massive the internet is. It is literally it’s own country. A global opportunity that awaits you to take a chance and decide that you can do it.

Myth 3# You need to be a genius

Maybe you aren’t an intellectual. Few people are. You might not create the next big thing, but that doesn’t mean you can’t make money online. I was once told to find what people want and give them that. That is the secret to making money online. So, it isn’t novel. So what? Give people what they want. That’s how people make money. Follow the trends and figure out what is missing. See what people are doing and do that. You don’t need to be brainy to make money online.

That is one of the biggest making money online myths out there. Change your perspective. Realize that you can be an average Jane or Joe and still make money. In fact, the more relatable you are, the better. Those are the people we connect with. Not the top gurus. Sure they make money. Being famous has its advantages. Those of us who were slow to jump on the ride need relatability to connect with people. They are people who once were relatable who no longer are because they forgot what made people connect with them.

The best way to make money is by looking at your skill set. We all have skills. No single person on the planet doesn’t have that one thing they excel at. And I’m sure they are people who would pay good money to learn that. Unless your skill is so niche and out there that people wouldn’t be interested in. That’s rare though. People these days can make money from literally anything. So, you are in good company. Myth three has been busted. Now onto the last one.

Also Related: Why Entrepreneurship is The New Normal?

Myth 4# Making money online is a scam

For every con artist, there is a legit salesperson. Did you ever read Confessions of a Door to Door sales agent? It was a brilliant read. It tells the story of a struggling salesperson. He struggled to sell his products for several reasons. Many thought he was a scammer. The second reason is he was selling things no one wanted. Perhaps he was selling to the wrong demographic. And he didn’t know how to market his products.

There will always be people who question everything online. “Did so and so really make money from doing that?” I remember reading how webnovel platforms were scammers because of how they’d approach authors instead of the other way around. Now, self-publishing is still better because you make more money but webnovelists do make money.

A webnovel is simply when an author serializes his content or novel and publishes it on a platform. Think Charles Dickens. Now, don’t get me wrong, they are online scams. You just have to be picky with what you spend your time on. The way I look at is like this. The marketplace was niche. So con artists back in the day would con those that were in a particular city or district. Now, the marketplace is global. They are more options out there to scam people. But not everything is a scam. Therefore, you need to take your time understanding how to make money online.

The number one reason people get scammed is that they aren’t knowledgeable. That’s why I created this blog post series. By the end you will know how to bust making money online myths. You will also know how to make money online without losing sleep and losing hair.

What is your one takeaway from this post? What making money online myths did you think were true? Comment below.

KEEP PUSHING

VANESSA

Passive Income Vs Active Income (Ultimate Beginner’s Guide)

by vanessa | Mar 23, 2022 | Blog, Entrepreneurs, Side-Hustles, Success

6 BRILLIANT wayS TO MASTER SELF-SABOTAGE

Here is a break down about passive income and active income

No matter how you make money, it falls into two categories. Passive income and active income. Thing is most people can’t tell the difference between the two and often they can easily mistake these two types of incomes. Passive income is investment that is achieved through past work that was done. This can be the course you paid for, the ebook you read, the affiliate link you clicked on. Often the work is done once and as a result the person earns income for work on a daily or monthly basis.

It depends on how much time they spent creating the product. Passive income is usually a result of digital products, but it can be earned in other ways as well, but that is the most common way to earn passive income. Active income is different though. Your job is a active income. You earn based on a salary. The harder you work, the more you make. That’s the big difference.

Why is it important to understand these two terms? Because they are so many ways to make money online. But most people have no idea because they don’t understand how passive or active income works. That’s why I created this blog post because before we get into the nitty gritty we need to understand the two categories of income. Once, you have an idea you will understand ways you can make money online. Let’s start.

Passive income (Explained)

When it comes to the top dogs of income it’s passive income. Why? We have limited time on our hands. If you ever wanted to know how people become wealthy it’s passive income. Unfortunately because many people don’t understand passive income they think it’s the illusive pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Often they assume people exaggerate so they don’t bother.

Passive income has so many advantages. The advantages outweigh all the disadvantages. Yes, passive income seems like a dream come true, but I would be misleading you if I didn’t tell you the uphill battle you will face. Everyone wants to make passive income. Unfortunately that makes it harder to make it. Competition is stiff. Not saying it’s like Hunger Games. But you will need to understand marketing and be well versed in self-discipline. Because it takes a lot to make this kind of income.

It’s worth it when you figure it out though, but it does require time. Unfortunately not everything is a given. If you also don’t know what you are doing you can get overwhelmed because of how many options they are when it comes to making passive income.

Also Related: How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Why is passive income important

In this blog post, I list down all the passive income opportunities because they are so many. I will reserve that for another blog. But I do want you to know why passive income is more important than active income. They are limited number of hours in a day. We all know that. But more importantly you can’t duplicate yourself. So, time will always restrict you in terms of making money.

This is where passive income comes in. However, you need to understand that it takes time to build it. I learned an important fact from my father. Everything worthwhile takes time. So, the same applies here. It takes time to build passive income streams which ever you choose to do. But in the long term it is worth. You can be lying on a beach and earn money. But it won’t roll in if you don’t build something and work on selling it. The first $50 I earned online was through affiliate marketing. One of the most popular passive income streams. It was then that I saw the value passive income has.

Active Income (Explained)

Many of us are used to active income. Sometimes it is called residual income or earned income. This is income you earn from a salary, hourly wage or commission. You work for every dime. Now you can’t get rich with this kind of income, but that doesn’t take away it’s importance. Passive income takes time and often you need money in order for you to do passive income.

This is where active income comes in. It will help you to raise enough money for you to start building your passive income streams. They are reasons why people don’t start a business. Besides it taking time, they also don’t have enough money. This is where active income becomes advantageous. You can work so that you raise enough money to build your business.

Active income requires a lot of work as well because you are paying based on the hours you are working. So if you are working 10 hours per day, you calculate that. It depends on what you are doing. Though, if you don’t get a task for the month you don’t make money. If you don’t have a shift then you don’t get paid. You work and then get paid. Not once, but repeatedly.

Below are the main types of active income

Also Related: 7 Things Holding You Back in Life

1. Salary

Most people earn this kind of income. You are trading your year for an income. You go to work at 8am and come back at 5pm. It’s a consistent revenue stream because you know you can depend on money coming into your bank account at a certain time or month. You often go to college or university to earn this kind of income. Though, they are times when you can simply have just a qualification. That’s all you need to be eligible to earn a salary.

2. Hourly wage

Those who don’t have qualifications or are still in school can earn this kind of active income. You get paid by the hour. So if you work for five hours per day and make $15 per hour then that is how much you make per day. It is easier to get this kind of active income than a salary. You can work at a fast food restaurant, deliver food, work for a company like Uber and the list goes on to make this kind of money.

3. Commissions

This type of active income stream helps you to make more money. It’s more profitable than the other two because it comes to the sales you make. They are some jobs where you can make commissions on top of your salary. You get this if you are in sales, events and even real estate. You make a percentage of the initial sale. So, it all comes to how much you sold a property or how much a client paid the company for a service.

4. Tips

If you are in the hospitality industry this is the active income you will earn. Tips are based on how much people want to give you. There’s no exact figure though it depends on where you work. For example, you are likely to make more money in tips if you work at a country club compared to a fast food restaurant. It all comes down to where you work.

5. Freelancing and consulting

If none of the above tickles your fancy and you want to be your own boss. You can do this one. Just like passive income streams this active income isn’t as easy as the others listed above. You need to market yourself well, but you can also start on freelancing sites like Fiverr or Guru or even 99Designs. It depends on what you want to do. You calculate your worth. You can earn anything from 6 to 7 figures doing this. They are people who became millionaires on Fiverr. So, the options are there, but it depends on how good you are.

When I was starting I did this and earned quite a bit of money from it as a result.

Which is better passive income or active income?

This depends on where you are in life. If you want to start a business, but are unsure how to do so you can start with freelancing or even the other active income opportunities. If you have time on your hand and even have more money, you can do try your hand at passive income. Each of these income types is worth it. It is worthy, but it all comes to you and your experience level.

I will say this though passive income is better than active income. For a lot of reasons. You make more money in the long run. You can also free up your time when you build the right systems. Even though it does take time it is worth it. So, even though it depends on where you are, you should be focusing on getting yourself ready to build passive income streams.

The great thing about passive income is that you can have numerous streams of income. With active income you have to pick one of two jobs depending on which active income stream you picked. If you have a salary than that will be challenging. The amount of money you make is limited by your hours. Passive income doesn’t have that. You can have seven to twenty-one different ways to make money.

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What is your major takeaway from this blog post? Comment below

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VANESSA

How You Define Success Can Make or Break You

by vanessa | Mar 1, 2022 | Blog, Entrepreneurs, personal development, Success

HOW YOU DEFINE SUCCESS CAN MAKE OR BREAK YOU

How do you define success? It can make or break you the way you define it.

When I was younger, the way I would define success wasn’t positive. It didn’t help me to grow or evolve. It took me a while to understand that the reason why I wasn’t growing, all came down to the way I would define success. Most of us define success as this linear line. There’s point D and we want to move to point A. A lot of us don’t realize that success isn’t linear. There isn’t a point system we need to tick to climb the success ladder. If that was the case than we all would be successful.

It is true that we need to follower those who are successful. They are also strategies that can help us become successful, but it isn’t that simple. Often, success takes different forms. They are people who become successful as a teenager or in their twenties or thirties. Then they are people who become successful at a much older age. Success isn’t about the destination, but the journey. How you define success can make or break you. It can build you up or push you down. Often, our mental gymnastics determine what happens next or what chess pieces move. That is why going into the new year you need to change how you define success.

Take it from me this is important. What I have learned is that when you change how you define success it changes your worldview and you grow much faster than if you keep to a rigid description of success.

The story you tell yourself

When I was in my early twenties, I saw success as a ladder that I needed to climb. This is how I would define success. I needed to tick boxes, here was the thing I didn’t understand what success was. I would watch MTV cribs and wish that one day that would be me. I wanted to be famous. I wanted my face to be plastered on magazine covers and to be interviewed. That is how I defined success. To me if people didn’t really know you then you weren’t successful. If you weren’t an A lister than no one really knew.

It was a rigid way of looking at success. I was interested in the glamor and that was what mattered. The more people knew me then I’d have made it. Here’s the thing this isn’t the right way to define success. This is way of defining success can break you because it pushes the notion that you need to be famous to be successful. That’s not true. They are a lot of famous people who don’t have money. Then they are successful people who aren’t as well-known as A lister but have a lot of money.

What story are you telling yourself? Why are you telling yourself this story? Yes, it’s important to understand the root of the story. Here’s mine. I was a late boomer. Always behind everyone else and I wanted to prove people wrong. I believed to do this I needed to be famous. That wasn’t the truth, I had nothing to prove, but I needed to discover that for myself first.

Your why

Successful people have a strong why. A reason why they want to do something. Being successful is just the reward. If you want to just be successful then you will never reach your goal. Even if you do it won’t feel rewarding. This is the wrong way to define success. It is the reason why so many influencers look unhappy or are depressed. They described success the wrong way. Have you ever watched celebrity interviews, I used to. I watched a lot of them. My favorite was the E True Hollywood Story. Every one of those that were interviewed would say they wanted to entertain people, make them laugh or cry.

They didn’t start of just wanting to be successful. At least not the greats. It was about making people happy or giving them something to root for. Successful entrepreneurs all started with wanting to make the world better. I’m talking about those that make a difference. The ones who have given the world a solution or provided opportunities. They will last for a lifetime because their reason wasn’t monetary. We get the definition of success so wrong.

It isn’t about how much money you have in your bank account. That is a reward. It is about the solution or what you have given the world. How you define success can push you forward or back. It can build you up and change your worldview. So define success the right way. Your why is the link to how you define success. If your why is strong than you are bound to become successful because you are thinking about the bigger picture.

Bigger picture

When your why is strong than you can lean on a bigger picture. When I was younger, I had no idea what I wanted to be known for. I loved writing and I wasn’t too bad at it. But I also loved acting. Writing to me didn’t seem profitable, but I had no idea how to get into acting. I jumped from one thing to the next without any clear idea of how to get to where I wanted. Remember how you define success can also give you a plan. It can give you a bigger picture and the clearer your vision is the easier it is to plan your life.

My vision was blurry so many years I wandered trying to figure it out. That wasn’t easy. I followed every guru under the sun. Okay, maybe that is an exaggeration, but it felt like that was what happened. I tried a lot of things, but never came to fruition. I tried freelancing then ecommerce and I settled on blogging. It gave me a clear picture. I started seeing the bigger picture. How I could turn my blog into a machine. When you settle on one thing it is easier to understand where next you need to go. Most of us follow what every guru says. There is so much information out there that it is easy to get information overload. Here’s the thing, you got to focus on a few gurus because the more gurus you follow it won’t be easy to understand what route you should take.

That’s why it’s important that the way you define success takes in the bigger picture. This will motivate you and encourage you to keep going regardless of the obstacles in your way.

Also Related: 13 Habits of Self-Made Millionaires

Ups and downs

They are two roads in life. The busy highway that everyone takes. On this road you will see lots of sights and cars. It’s crowded so it often takes forever to get to your destination, but it does look like you will enjoy the journey. Then there’s the other road. This one people don’t travel on it a lot. It seems as if there’s no much to see. The road isn’t in good condition, they are a lot of pot holes and the grass isn’t luscious. But if you keep down on this road, you will see so much more. Sights and buildings that you won’t see on the other road.

This road is filled with more adventure. I’m guessing you see where I’m going. How you define success will also give you room to make mistakes? Because that is success. There’s no exact map. No exact route you should take. They are so many obstacles and road blocks. Success isn’t easy. Heck, it is one of the hardest things you will ever do. Starting your own business or doing something most people won’t isn’t easy. If it was then what would be the point? It would be as joyful as interesting or exciting. Success is all about the journey. The experiences you will go through just to get to the end of the rainbow. It’s never ending. There’s so much you will learn about yourself and life.

However you have to accept it has ups and downs. Even when you become successful, you will always have to tweak things. Most of us think it ends right there once you become successful. No. It isn’t that simple. You will be met with so many road blocks. But that is why it’s so worthwhile. How you define success matters?

How do you define success? Has the definition helped you or do you need to work on it. Let me known in the comments section.

KEEP P USHING

VANESSA

Are You Feeling Left Behind? Forge Your Own Path

by vanessa | Feb 23, 2022 | Entrepreneurs, motivation, personal development

Are you feeling left behind. forge your own path.

Most people feel left behind. Here’s a simple solution how to deal with it.

No one knew social media would be seen as a vehicle to compare ourselves with other people. That has happened. Many of us feel left behind. We feel as though we aren’t achieving the success we always dreamed about. Social media often shows the best the world offers. Children and teenagers excelling at a rapid rate that many of us can’t dream of.

This is a problem for our self-esteem and general sense of worth. How can we compete with teenagers making their first million? Yet we’re struggling to even figure life out. We beat ourselves for not getting it sooner. Studies show that many people feel left behind in life. Most people want to achieve something grand, but don’t know how to do that. They see themselves as falling behind in life. Here is something staggering. In 2011, it was stated that 200 million Americans wanted to publish books. Yet, in 2022, only 0,03% of the population is a writer.

Here is another interesting fact. In 2018, it was stated that three out of five people want to start their own business. To be exact, 62% dreams of starting their own business. That is a staggering number. They are many people who feel left behind in life. More than you know. They are a lot of reasons people don’t go after their dreams. A lot of reasons they give up the goose. These facts show they are so many people with lofty dreams. Very few achieve them. That is why they call it the 1%. Most people give up way too easily.

Below I will point out how you can start going after your dreams even if you feel left behind in life. Before I go on. I need you to know something. We all have a choice. Either we let fear in or we face it. We can’t do both.

Comparison getting you down

Most people compare themselves to the next person. So and so is doing this. Why can’t I? So and so bought a new car. Moved into a new apartment, building complex, city or country. “Did you see what this person is doing on social media?” Social media has become a viewing room. Something to entertain us and distract us from going after our dreams. It makes us insecure. As we look at well-crafted social media feeds or even glance at people’s profile.

Here’s the thing: comparing yourself will make you feel left behind. It will make you question your decisions. Consider them and wonder why you aren’t doing X and X. Yet, you’re still alive who says you can’t. It’s almost as if we think we need to achieve our dreams at a certain age or timeline. If I don’t achieve this at this age, I’m a failure. Here’s the thing: the people who achieved those things earlier had a different childhood from you.

Their experiences made them who they are. Just like your experiences made you who you are. Why do senior citizens choose to learn an instrument? Many of them wake up with regret and wonder where the time went. I admire senior citizens who do that. Because it isn’t easy to learn anything new. Even when you’re young. Yet. Few people do. Few people choose to learn something that will build them up. That’s the thing. You decide who you want to be.

You decide where you want to go. The choice is yours. Don’t let comparison put you in a box. Don’t allow it to trap you and stop you from going after what you want.

You give too much power to fear

Many of us give fear way too much power. We see it as this force that can cause us to stop in our tracks. That is why many people feel left behind in life. They give fear too much power. When was the last time you did something you were terrified about? I’m terrified of heights, but I have done lots of things that make people wonder if I actually am.

Why do I do that? Simple. Because I don’t want to give fear too much power. If I do that, then fear will control my life and decisions. I don’t want to ever be in a position where I feel as if fear has too much power over me. I can’t let that happen. You shouldn’t as well. I once heard someone say fear are fake events appearing real. And that is true. When you’re afraid of something, often we exaggerate. Here’s an example. I was in an elevator once. The ones that have windows. I imagined it crashing to the ground. Will that ever happen? Unlikely. Unless I’m in a movie. Movies aren’t real. What happens in movies won’t happen in real life? Certain instances they happen. Like getting eaten by a shark. But you’ll only encounter this if you swim where sharks are.

Most of these things are situational. Many people allow fear to sink in. That is why they feel left behind. The best way to avoid this is to not give too much power to fear.

Social expectations

Society loves to give expectations. As if that is a parameter of success. Society will say you need to have done this at this age or achieved this in this time frame. Rules should be broken. The reason you’re feeling left behind is that you’re using society to determine what your life should be like. When I was in my early twenties, I felt like this a lot. I wanted to achieve so many things. Get my life going. But the thing is, I did not know how to do it. I was concerned with how people saw me. I didn’t work on how I saw myself.

That is the problem. We spend too much time wondering how people see us. Thinking that if I do X, then they’ll see me in a better light. Who cares what a stranger across the world thinks of you? Who cares what your aunt Mildred thinks about your singleness? The reason I say this is that there has to be a point where you care and defining yourself based world says about you. You can’t control what people think. That is just a fact. What you can do is think about who you want to be and where you want to go.

That should matter more than people’s opinions. People will always have opinions. Whether or not it’s true. You can’t let people’s opinions make you feel left behind in life. Not everyone is the same. Therefore, your journey won’t be the same.

Success isn’t linear

Success isn’t linear. It’s not a step-by-step system. Even if you think it’s a staircase. That’s often not the case. This is the number one reason you feel left behind. You see success in a straight line. It isn’t. They are ups and downs in life. You will achieve something great than the next thing you know is you hit a slump or a land mill. Why? Because that is how life is like. If life was linear, it would be boring. You wouldn’t enjoy it as much as you enjoy it now.

You wouldn’t experience the fullness that life offers. We need to understand life isn’t meant to be easy. It isn’t meant to be simple. As hard as that is, this is how we can achieve great things in life. We need to realize feeling left behind is normal, but it doesn’t determine where we go next. Whatever milestone you make, that is a step in the right direction. If you come across obstacles, that’s alright. That strengthens you. It builds you up. Pushes you out of your comfort zone. Creates opportunities that you never knew were even there.

Forge your own path

I used to think success was linear, so I’d follow the gurus’ advice. I’d think that this is how I’ll be successful. Few of us can follow someone successfully. Some of us don’t have that opportunity. We just don’t. We feel left behind because we believe we should follow someone’s path to become successful. That isn’t true. There has to be a point where we forge our own path.

This can look different depending on who you are. For example, who says you need to go back to university? Many people want to make more money. Several articles suggest going back to university to achieve this. This is just the opinion of a few people. That doesn’t mean if you choose to go down a different path, you won’t achieve anything. No. You can start a business. Create several income streams. Sell your mother’s cookies to your next-door neighbors. Home sit pets. The list goes on. They are so many things you can do.

We remain in a box when we don’t see the opportunities waiting for us. There’s so much you can do. You just have to go outside and see what you can achieve. Forge your own path. This is how you won’t feel left behind. Don’t look at other peoples’ success as the only way you can become successful. You just need to push yourself and you will find so many opportunities. Unbelievable opportunities you never thought you would ever achieve. It will takes time. But if you don’t give up. You would be shocked at all things you can achieve.

Why do you feel left behind in life? Loved to know. Comment below.

Keep Pushing

Vanessa